Stephanie Needs Her Second Brain Surgery

The love of my life (Stephanie) is facing something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
She has a tumor on her cerebellum right on the bottom of her brain.
Stephanie already went through emergency surgery about 2 years ago when it had gotten so large it blocked the fluid around her brain from draining and nearly died. 
We are lucky enough to be in San Diego with some of the best neurosurgeons in the country.
Dr. Rene Sanchez Mejia successfully completed the surgery and then she entered radiation therapy. She completed her treatment and didn't suffer many psychological/physical side effects as the doctors suggested she might. She was in pain a lot but no permanent motor skills or language skills lost.



A miracle to be sure. 

She entered normal life again, started working again. Neither of us had 'careers'. At the time I was working five nights a week as a server at Denny's. It was a busy Denny's where I made decent tips but I would still barely cut it. She started working at a Froyo shop, then eventually she started at a hotel where she currently works.

We saved up all year and took ourselves on a trip to Puerto Vallarta. It was the first time in 8 years of working at that Denny's that I took a full week off, let alone left the country for a vacation. 
We had the time of our life. Literally. We had so much fun, it was beautiful, perfect weather, so stress free. We were there for 4 days.



We come back, and we see her surgeon for a check up.
He orders MRIs to see how it looks.
Turns out it wasn't so great. They didn't get all of the tumor out and it has started growing again. Albeit not super fast, and it is small.
We hear this and start tearing up.
Surgery and radiation was a very traumatic experience for her (and anyone that has been in a similar situation) and she couldn't bear the thought of going through it all again.
Dr. Mejia says she just needs to get more radiation treatment to finish it off.

Time goes by, more MRIs.
We get an appointment with a new radiologist (her previous one wouldn't accept her insurance any longer).
Apparently this radiologist had looked over her records and discussed the case with Dr. Mejia.
They had come to the conclusion that she would need to go back under the knife so they can make the mass smaller and then try and get Proton Therapy for her.

The tears really started now.
Stephanie hated going through it, understandably. The doctors had told her she would be OK and here we are having to repeat the whole process. 

We scheduled everything we needed to. More MRIs, checking the spine to make sure the tumor hadn't spilled off into her spinal fluid. Thank god that has not been an issue.

Since she had already received radiation treatment, and a lot of it, it is dangerous to go back and dump more radiation on. Radiated areas don't really heal, so there's a lot of risk involved adding more. This is why the radiologist suggested they remove more of it through surgery and then use proton therapy to finish it off.

Proton Therapy is an amazing (sort of new but not super new) technique that can target pinpoint areas and only treat that spot with radiation rather than causing a bunch of damage to otherwise healthy surrounding tissue. This was the diamond in the rough and I was happy to know they would try for such a wonderful treatment.

After more appointments we had scheduled her surgery for December 5th. 

At the end of October someone set fire (suspected arson case) to my Denny's on my night off. I lost my job overnight. If anyone works for denny's or restaurants in general, the holiday season is very slow for a graveyard worker. Getting a transfer to a different store would result in a massive loss of hours. This was devastating as we had been saving up every penny we could to get through the upcoming months where she would have to be on Unpaid Medical Leave receiving only disability. (San Diego is very expensive, disability is barely enough to keep going. We had to start dipping into our savings to make it by. 




Soon after, I got a job as a digital marketer, which is great! I get to work from home and take care of her, especially after the surgery when she may need physical therapy.  However I am not making as much money (yet, once we bring in more clients I can expect more hours and a raise) as I did before at Denny's.

The savings got eaten a little bit in my off time and now we collectively barely make enough to pay rent, bills, and eat. We haven't been able to add to the savings since Denny's caught fire.

2 weeks ago Stephanie gets a call from Dr. Mejia's office; apparently he had just left. No warning to anyone, something came up and he had to leave the state. He would no longer be able to do the surgery and she needs a new surgeon. This was another devastating blow. More stress and drama for Stephanie who really just wants to get this all over with.

So here we are.
She cancelled her medical leave until further notice. We do not have a new surgeon yet, we are in limbo. Scheduling appointments with her general doctor (also a new guy she hasn't met yet) to get him to refer her to a new neurosurgeon. 

Our savings is practically nothing at this point. We are starting to add more, we each get paid every other Friday and we are on alternating schedules. We can only really afford $20 - $50 savings each week. 

We desperately need money to survive the time that she will not be able to work. It hurts me to say it but I do not make enough money to pay the full rent, have food, and gas to get to her appointments (which are 20 - 30 minutes away, and when she's getting radiation treatment it would be a daily drive).

We don't know what to do. We both have a lot of pride and hate asking for anything. I had to swallow it because I want my love to be okay and not worry more than she already has to.  She means the world to me. She changed my life and improved it an impossible amount. I didn't think I would ever find someone so caring and loving. She is my whole meaning of life and watching her suffer and stress herself out to the point of anxiety hurts me to no end.

I'm no stranger to sickness.
When I was 16 my father passed away of a terminal illness that he had been dealing with my whole life. The last couple years of his life I took care of him while my mother worked. I changed oxygen tanks, cooked him food, and talked with him to make every last moment count. 

I need to be there for Stephanie like I was for him.
But I can't be there if I have to find another job and work crazy hours just for the both of us to survive, and that's the most terrifying thing to me. Her being alone is not something I can deal with.

If anyone is reading this, your help will not go unappreciated.
In fact literally anything would be life changing at this point.