Hello fellow human of the Earth. My first wish is to extend love and gratitude to you for existing, and as well for taking the time to read my GoFundMe Campaign. I'll start off with some background. My name is Stephanie (often refered to as Steffy!), and I was born 22 years ago in the beautiful city of Austin, Tx. I've been blessed thus far to have the opportunity to invest my time in passions that truly speak to me. These include traveling, a deep relationship with and exploration of the natural world, and working to brighten the days of those around me.
         Over the last few years, my life has taken a turn. As I fell deeper into my eating disorder and my health continued to decline I continued to fight to recover on my own. In Novemeber of 2016, I made the life changing decision to enter Residential Treatment. Simultaneously the most terrifying and most rewarding decision I've yet to make.

Though the process has so far been full of ups and downs and it took me some time to find worth within myself; almost two months in I feel deeply commited to recovery. I want to do everything I can to regain long lasting health and a life full of hope and adventure. It's taken me some time to realize that I cannot help others if I cannot help myself first. This may be the hardest thing I've ever done, but every moment of hopelessness, every moment of self-doubt and fear has been worth this newfound feeling of finally knowing myself again, and rediscovering myself at last. In treatment I've come to know a person that I truly had forgotten existed, and I've never experienced such elation for the simple joy of just living, just being. I want recovery more than I have ever yearned for anything else in this life.

 
I'm ready at last to fully commit to this process. And I feel so blessed to finally believe it when I say that recovery is worth it. This is something that I am determined to see through to the end. People sometimes say that I can be stubborn, so why not use that to throw everything I have into getting well!!! 

      *Side Note: Making Latte Art is another passion :)

As my time in Residential Care is coming close to it's end, I am faced with decisions. What is the next step? What is most beneficial for my recovery? 
Though I was stepped down to a lower level of care prematurely by my insurance company, I am confident that I have made the most of my time. However, to make recovery my life and not merely a phase of my life, my wise mind knows that there is still so much work to be done. My next goal is to participate in a Transitional Living Program (TLP), which will help teach me how to take the skills I have learned while under 24 hour care and integrate them into a lifestyle in which I am responsible for taking care of myself. This step is something I see as immensely important to make this time I've spent here worthwhile. This TLP is somthing that I believe will solidify this process. While this prospect is immensely exciting, it is also daunting when it comes to funding. With an eight week minimum commitment that comes with a $200 daily fee, costs seem to add up pretty fast!! Which brings me to the conclusion of my GoFundMe campaign. My heart goes out to any who are willing and able to donate to help me fund my Eating Disorder Recovery. This is a turning point in my life, and I cannot express how thankful I am for every piece and form of support I recieve. You have my enteral gratitude. <3

Here is an exerpt from some of my recovery oriented journaling:

I face the life before me with a weary mind. But remember, this is a time for hope, for rest, rejuvination. Looking out the window, I feel a yearning in my heart- the temptress of freedom. But remember child, now is not the time. Though your mind is racing and your soul pines for a new life, you are where you need to be. I know it feels like this time is an imprisonment, remember the power is in your hands. You have a choice to make. Let your defeats become your victories, little by little, you may find something worthy within yourself. Though it feels like you're losing your best friend, remember what you are making room for. Connect to that space, let it be cleansed and filled with meaning. I know it seems impossible to find purpose outside of this disorder, but imagine a life where you have room for new goals. Feel the air in your lungs clean and full, and imagine a future where every breath is full of life and vitality. You have no reason to wait. Your death is not a victory, your demise cannot be your aspiration. You must join yourself in the emptiness before you fill that space with meaning. The loss of the comfort of what you've come to know is nothing more than an opportunity to truly know yourself. Seize that opportunity. Use the fervor which you've dedicated to this disorder. Repurpose it, throw yourself into recovery with all the passion that you know exists within you. Come to discover the person inside you by first stripping yourself of this identity. It won't be easy, and you will be afraid. Embrace it, do not run away from it. Learn to love your capacity to feel joy as you've learned to love your sadness and your pain. Accept that it is not selfish to be truly happy. What is selfish is in fact the opposite- the lack of utilization of the time, ability, and resources that this life has handed to you. It's okay to not know, it's okay to be uncomfortable and sad, but it is equally okay to feel comfort and happiness. I've wanted for so long to be self-sacfricing, and trapped myself in the cycle of believing that the joy in my life doesn't allow for that. What I'm coming to realize, is that I need to embrace joy to find the ability to share that feeling with others in my life that deserve it more than anything.

Thank you so so much for taking the time to hear about my journey :)