Update 2/15: just lost job due to DHS hold on funds, really need help!

I am a single mother and as embarrassed as I am to write this in a world of catastrophic problems bigger than mine, I am seeking support to maintain stability for my children as well as the little one I have on the way. As a first-gen for many things in my family, I have been blessed enough to pursue my dreams and move into a field of helping those with mental health challenges, all while taking a pay cut that doesn't seem fair and has begun to take a toll on me. I certainly practice what I preach and lean on my faith to sustain me, but the reality is I can no longer make ends meet and am in a position of needing to ask for help myself.

I have 3 beautiful daughters: my oldest, 22, who has overcome drug addiction and being shot a little over a year ago with a dream of being a veterinarian who had to drop out of school recently due to her car breaking down and us not being able to afford to help buy or finance her another one all while struggling to find a job due to her record and past mistakes; my middle daughter, 18, who is currently attending college and working two part-time jobs to help sadly pay something that i feel should be solely my responsibility, a $4k tuition per semester to do something I never got the chance to do, and that is stay on campus at the dorm; and my youngest, 10, who is enjoying being a kid and a basketball player with a dreams of being a doctor and in the WNBA which i want to support, but struggle with buying necessary shoes and needed gear or clothes for. I also cannot forget our newest addition who we got at 7 weeks old: Theodore who is 7 months old and adorable, but i have been struggling to pay for his doggie insurance and fear that I may need to cut it off as I have been cutting expenses due to my situation.

I am a survivor myself and have overcome a lot. I had my oldest child at 15 and did not get my masters degree or buy my first home until i was in my 30s. I know that I have been through some of the worst things in life, like losing my first son and my mother, which keeps me in a state of gratitude, determined to break generational curses, and enhanced my resiliency that I can weather any storm. Due to the loss of my mother, who was a pillar in my family, and the loss of many close relatives like my grandmother and grandfather, many uncles and aunts, I have often been and continue to be a place of support for my family on both sides. My father, who resides in another state, is experiencing many health issues, with only my paternal grandmother still living at age 85, who I also support. My siblings have been scattered and many are struggling due to these overwhelming circumstances while i try to be an anchor anytime they do reach out or attempt to help with my neices and nephews.

After losing my first son in 2009 when he was just 6 months old, I am currently having my second son and feel truly blessed for this, yet a little concerned about being able to afford him the things he will need by the time he comes. I have been driving Lyft or delivering packages outside of my full-time job, but it is exhausting and now I am truly exhausted being pregnant so this has become harder and harder to do due to my body forcing me to sleep.

I am worried residing in Minneapolis Minnesota, my home state and city, while feeling more unsafe as ICE destroys the neighborhood i am from. I also feel less secure each day I struggle to put food on the table, let alone healthy food options. I tell my children not to be fearful, but also not to put themselves in a dangerous situations so I do speak against them being at protests although we are all angry and want to do more to help each other. My youngest is now attending online school which provides me with a sense of relief in regard to her safety but also i feel somewhat defeated in the sense that I cant help her adequately while I work.

I do well to compartmentalize my stress so that it doesnt spill over into my work with others and helping others is what actually rejuvenates me many times. I would like to continue to help and Lord knows if I has a million dollars it would be spent on that very cause: helping others especially those in my community.

I plan to use these funds to get ahead on my bills and no longer be behind or negative every month and if I can pay off some of my credit card debts that will free up much of my cash flow to then feel able to help my daughters in a way that i can feel proud to as their mother. Without help i am in fear that everything i have worked hard to acomplish for my children would disappear and my kids would be left with what many of our family has had to leave to their children: nothing. In a nutshell I had to humble myself and do what I tell my clients to do, and that is to not be so proud to ask for help, so here I am.

Thank you for reading my story and for any and all support in these trying times for everyone.

~Mighty Rose (a rose growing in the winter)