In Memory of Ruben ❤️

When we started this GoFundMe, we never imagined we would have to change it to this.

This was supposed to be about helping my brother, Ruben, fight Stage 4 cancer. He didn't even want us to make a GoFundMe in the first place. He was worried people would think he was looking for sympathy. He hated asking for help. Ruben was the kind of person who would give everything he had to someone else before ever asking for anything himself.

We truly thought we were raising money to help him get through his surgeries, his hospital stays, his treatments, and whatever came next.

We didn't know there wouldn't be a next chapter.

We lost my brother.

And now we're trying to figure out what life looks like without him while also dealing with all the things that come after someone dies that nobody really prepares you for.

There are still medical bills from everything he went through. There are funeral and memorial expenses. There are unexpected costs that seem to keep appearing. And there is the reality of trying to take care of all of that while our family is grieving and trying to process the fact that Ruben isn't coming home.

That’s the strange and heartbreaking part of losing someone. You are grieving a person you love, all while simultaneously having to make phone calls, fill out paperwork, make arrangements, figure out bills, and deal with decisions you never expected to have to make.

And honestly, we're exhausted.

Ruben deserved so much more time.

He loved his music community. He loved putting on shows, supporting bands, bringing people together, and creating a space where people could simply come together and have a good time. He was still talking about shows. He was still thinking about Fest Fest 5. Even when he should have been resting, he was thinking about the next thing.

That's Ruben.

He was always ready for the next thing.

He was funny. He had a huge personality and an even bigger heart. He cared deeply about his people. And whether you knew him for years or crossed paths with him through the music scene, he had a way of leaving an impression.

So this fundraiser is no longer about helping Ruben beat cancer.

It's about helping us take care of what he left behind while we try to learn how to live with what he didn't get to finish. Most have reached out asking us how they can help and what they can do for our family, and this is one way we could use the help.

If you can donate, thank you. Truly.

If you can't, please don't feel bad. Share this page. Tell someone about Ruben. Leave a memory. Listen to a song that reminds you of him. Go to a show. Support a local band. Do something that feels like him.

Because that's what we want to remember.

Not just the cancer.

Not just the hospital rooms.

Not just the bills.

Ruben.

His music. His people. His laugh. His personality. His heart. The life he lived and the people he brought together along the way.

Thank you for loving our brother.

Thank you for showing up for him when he was here.

And thank you for continuing to show up for our family now that he isn't.

We miss you, Ruben. More than words can ever explain.

Forever our brother. Forever our friend. Forever part of this community. ❤️