I am organizing this fundraiser on behalf of my partner Rebecca who is in need of support through a difficult time. Anyone who has met her would agree that she is dedicated to her community. Unfortunately, the extraordinary measures her abuser has taken to harass and endanger Rebecca and her wellbeing has derailed her lifelong goals. Please read her story below:

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This is painful for me to write and explain, but even harder for me to ask for help. I have experienced severe childhood trauma, with profound physical abuse and neglect. After leaving, I have been met with harassment, manipulation and threats even with a restraining order now in place. With your assistance, we can put an end to this. 


I was only a little girl when the abuse started. 


My earliest memory was when I was about 4 years old and she was about 27. I was standing at the top of the stairs, waiting for my father. I was suddenly shoved from behind and couldn’t even brace myself for the impact below. The shock was so severe that I didn’t cry out from pain. I looked up and found my birth mother at the top, eyes mad and smiling. When I did cry, it was out of fear. As soon as my father slammed the door and left, she stormed down the stairs and held me down. From on top of me, she pummeled my face until I lost teeth. She kicked me until I couldn’t breathe and left me there. 


From then on, the abuse continued every few days like clockwork. I learned that my birth mother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but refused medication. She became intensely paranoid and other times, she had grandiose delusions. I was left a vulnerable child, held captive to her volatile mood swings. My body was constantly trashed with bruises and cuts, and I was forced to wear long sleeves and pants to cover them. As most children experiencing abuse, I didn’t have the words to understand what was happening at the time. I was groomed to stay fearful and submissive. I could only plead for her to stop while she threw me around. I only knew pain and that I existed as her emotional outlet, her punching bag. 


She withheld food from me and wanted me to beg. When I developed a tumor growth on my back, she mocked my cries and called me an “attention-seeker.” I begged extended family members to call Child Protective Services, but she found out and threatened that I would be raped in foster care. She pulled the landline wires out when I tried calling the police. Even when police were called, it was excused as a “cultural issue.” Family members asked that this be resolved within the family, out of shame. They tried convincing me that she would grow out of the abusive behavior, and that my adult life would be much happier than my childhood. Yet when incidents happened, they turned a blind eye. 


In 2012, I attempted to leave by purposely enrolling into a college out-of-state. Instead, she held my identification documents and college acceptance mail hostage to prevent me from getting a higher education. She said she wanted to see me homeless after I graduate high school. Even with my cries, head bowed and knees to the ground, I was helpless as she laughed away. I was battered, but the pain paled in comparison to the thought of my future being wasted away. Through a stroke of luck, I was able to leave and attend college despite her harassment. 


Since losing direct contact with me, she has resorted to other means to regain control, which has made my life very difficult. Along with stealing my identification documents, she caused me to lose financial aid and stalked me from states away. With the latest death threat and stalking, I was able to obtain a restraining order. However, even with all that we have accomplished so far, it has not been enough. Despite having all of these measures in place, I still cannot safely work, obtain an education, or be protected from her fraudulent actions.


I am asking for your help. I have been left with nothing, not even my own identity. I have exhausted all resources from organizations such as Safe Horizon, Family Justice Center, Her Justice, Womenkind, Connect, Garden of Hope, NYLAG, FTC, Tahirih Justice Center, Urban Justice Center, Asian Pacific Institute for Gender Based Violence, Sanctuary for Families, CAMBA, Legal Aid Society, and many more. Due to a technicality with their funding, my case does not qualify because it is not Intimate-Partner Domestic Violence (IPV). Contrary to what funding sources assume, child abuse does not just end when the victim turns 18 years old. According to contacts from these organizations, my case is unique due to the extent, severity, and duration of the abuse.  


For my birthday, I am fundraising for legal fees to protect myself and to prevent me from being harmed by the abuser ever again. For almost two decades, the abuser’s daily threats— “if I can give birth to you, I can kill you too” —were ingrained into me. But at 26 years old, I should be no one’s property but my own. My rights have been forcibly taken from me, so I have nothing left to lose. I had been crippled by fear, battered, whipped, strangled, bitten, starved, and neglected. I have been stalked, harassed, and had my identity stolen. I am not ashamed of what I endured.


An attorney is needed to help enforce the protective order. All donations to GoFundMe would be used for legal fees. The average cost of a family law attorney is $350-$400/hr with a $10,000 retainer fee. 


It has been a long fight to escape family violence and the toll on myself and my support system has been unimaginable. With your help, this can be the last hurdle. 


With deep gratitude and appreciation, 


Rebecca