My wife saved me. Please help me save her.

In 2018, I lost my daughter Chloe to suicide. She was 14 years old. A beautiful, brilliant, hilarious Daddy’s girl with the same weird humor I have. She was everything to me. And I didn’t see it coming.

My wife Roxanne (who goes by her middle name Sage) is not Chloe’s biological mom, but she absolutely loved her like her own—and she was the one who found her first that morning.

She stayed with me through the worst chapter of my life. I wish I could say I was a good man during that time, but the truth is, I wasn’t. I was broken. But even when she had to put some distance between us for a while so we could heal without triggering each other with our opposing trauma responses - she never stopped supporting me. She never abandoned me. And there were many times that she probably should have -

But she didn't. She stayed. And I would not have survived without her.

She held our family together the best she could when I couldn’t, even while she was wading through her own suffocating grief and the (then undiagnosed) Lupus was wreaking havoc on her body at the same time.

Now it's my turn to save her, because she's the one who’s falling apart this time; not emotionally, but physically. She has Systemic Lupus (SLE) that has progressed into CNS (Central Nervous System) Lupus, which means her nervous system, brain, and body are being attacked from the inside out. Every single day, she is in pain and has flare-ups that are like having the stomach flu and respiratory flu at the same time.. Every single day she fights to survive.

But she’s fading. Some days when I call her from work, she is crying and telling me she is losing hope and her will to live. She tries so hard to stay positive - to focus on the people she loves, and the few activities she can still enjoy. But she can do less and less as the days go by, and every day, I watch the hope and optimism fade slowly from her eyes.

I’m her caregiver now. Her husband. Her teammate. And I’m watching the woman who saved me start to slip away. I can’t let that happen. I have already lost so much - I can't lose her too.

We found a type of treatment that offers real hope: stem cell therapy, with promising results for people with severe Lupus—especially the kind that attacks the nervous system. We’re pursuing two options:

1. A short-term treatment in Tijuana, Mexico at a trusted clinic that will cost $7,840-9,320 including the travel expenses (excluding food).

2. A long-term stem cell program in Panama with the best results for neurological Lupus we’ve seen so far, with a track record of many cases of permanent remission. That one is much more expensive - $27,340-30,200, including the travel expenses (excluding food).

The full cost for treatment, travel, and lodging for the two of us is $35,180-39,520. I know that’s a big number. But this is my wife’s life. She has dedicated her life to helping others, and now she is the one that needs help - So I’m asking anyone who can help, in any amount, to stand with us.

We made pinky promises in our family—my wife, and our surviving children, and me—that no matter how hard things get, we won’t leave each other behind. Not by choice. Not by despair. Not by suicide. We hold onto each other even when we feel like we’re drowning. That’s what love is. And every day, I watch my wife struggle to keep that promise to all of us.

If you can help us get her to these treatments—so she can not just survive, but actually live again—then you are part of that promise, too.

Thank you for helping me fight for her, the way she fought for all of us.

PLEASE KNOW THAT IF YOU DONATE YOU CAN ADJUST THE TIP AMOUTN TO LOWER IT.