Recovering from loss and final expenses

Gary is my husband of 14 years. He has always been the one who worked the hardest, stayed the longest, and made sure no one needed or wanted anything.

In November of 2022, we opened a cafe and bakery in Wartrace, TN. Things were great. We became a part of something bigger. A loving community, full of very kind folks. We do our best to contribute to the school community, to help when and where we can. When we first came to town, we took a poll of what the community wanted food-wise. We wanted to offer items that other places around us did not offer. And then we met so many people and became a part of something huge.

Until the time came that we couldn’t.

On July 29th, my husband had a seizure and was rushed to the hospital. They checked him out really well and came back and told me he had a brain tumor. They scanned him again and found out he had cancer throughout his body. No organ untouched. He had multiple tumors in his body. We were devastated. Gary had to quit helping me at the cafe/bakery. He had to have emergency surgery to remove a brain tumor.

We were told he has signet ring cell adenocarcinoma. His cancer is found in less than 1% of cancer patients. Very strong and aggressive.

Gary started chemo in August 2024. He also had 5 rounds of radiation. If it weren’t for my son and volunteers in the community, and a company that we love, we would have been forced to close. We are very blessed. By the end of September, my husband was struggling with all of the side effects of such a strong treatment. He had another chemo treatment the first week of October, then he had to skip the next round. By this time, he is in a wheelchair half of the time and barely able to walk due to falling so much. The first week of November, he was rushed to the hospital again due to severe pain. The doctor scanned him and thought he saw an air pocket in his colon area. But it wasn’t stopping. It was getting bigger, so they went in and discovered he was full of infection. They had to do an emergency colostomy. He now has a stoma and a colostomy bag. During this same time, I had a mild heart attack, causing me to have to take it easy, undergo scans, tests, and more meds. All this and no health insurance. So those bills in addition to Gary’s are so extreme.

So in the end of October, the doctor decided to postpone his chemo until January 2025. Here we are in December. He is progressively getting worse. He is a fall risk and using a walker at all times. Now he is in severe pain and the doctors do not feel he will be strong enough to start chemo. He’s undergone so many tests and scans and treatments, different medications, and so much more. The hospital bills have just taken their toll and are calling daily. I really thought the insurance would pay more, but they haven’t. The community has tried to help as much as possible, but it barely made a dent. We appreciate all that everyone has done for us.

Gary is now in hospice and each day is a struggle. He is fighting and won’t stop as long as he is awake he will move.

Now, sales for our cafe and bakery are down. Everyone comes and says they love it, but I’m afraid that if I miss any days, we will lose everything. Our beautiful cafe, and most everything else. Each day is a struggle right now. I do not know how we will get through, so I am asking, begging for any help. Even if it’s $1.00.

My husband is so worried we are not going to be able to save something we’ve worked so hard to get established. He’s also worried that without the cafe, we will lose all we’ve worked so hard to build and we could lose our home. Then he worries about other expenses like my health, all of the mounting medical bills between the both of us.

With all of the folks we have met and all of the community near and far, we need prayers of all sorts. Comfort, healing, prayers, and blessings to help get us through.

The funds would be used to help cover medical bills for both Gary and Becky, pay for meds not covered, to buy necessities to care for Gary at home, to help keep things going at Chabbi’s so they don’t have to let go of something so important to them to survive.

today is Jan 31, 2025.

Gary passed away Tuesday January 14, around 5/5:30am. He fought so hard and didn’t give up until he was taken Home. I know he was with us and staying strong for all of us. He was moving all the time. He kept moving until the Thursday before he passed. He struggled to get one foot in front of the other. He begged me to help him walk. But if you know Gary he was much taller than me. I was able to help him a few times but as he got weaker I couldn’t hold him up alone. I tried so hard to help him do what he felt he needed to do to stay. He fought with all he had. And my heart broke into more pieces than I thought imaginable. I see him in everything I do. I see him sitting in his mancave, in our kitchen, at our cafe, in the yard. Functioning day to day is very hard.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of uncovered expenses and bills. We thought we had a policy to take care of his bills and any unexpected issues but somehow that ended up not to be so. Thankfully we didn’t find out while gary was still with us because he would have been worried sick. I’m at a loss of how to move forward.

thank you for all of your kindness and generosity during this time.