As hard as it can be sometimes, I wake every morning grateful to see another day. Every morning, I wake my 2 and 8 year old up with a smile on my face, speaking words of endearment and encouragement for the new day. Monday through Friday I walk into work cute, smiling, encouraged and greeting everyone in my path. “Sunshine” is what many of my coworkers call me. They just don’t know the clouds I have to overcome just  in order to shine. Or how inside I feel like I'm crawling just to get there. I’ve planned most of my life; priding myself in trying to do things the “right way”. I graduated college, married my college Sweetheart at 24, starting working, bought a house, and got pregnant with my first child at 28. My first pregnancy ended at 22 ½ weeks, my 2nd pregnancy ended at 18 ½ weeks. After only getting to hold our 2nd born briefly I struggled trying to come to terms with the fact that we were  going home empty handed yet again, I was devastated. At this point I started to question my faith in God. All we got was another, “Sorry there’s nothing more we can do”. An (angel) Obstetrician that I’d never seen before during either of my pregnancies entered my last delivery room and gave us a glimmer of hope. He concluded that I have an incompetent cervix, and any future pregnancies would require a cervical cerclage which would prevent me from dilating early and going into premature labor. He committed to doing everything medically possible to get us through a full term pregnancy, if we tried again. The thought of trying a 3rd time was an emotional rollercoaster and very stressful. With love and support of each other, friends and family, we decided to try again. The 3rd pregnancy was high risk, required surgery to implant the Cervical Cerclage, I was put on bedrest for the last 22 weeks of my pregnancy, and had to get weekly progesterone shots the rest of the pregnancy. To God be the glory, in March of 2010, “God’s Gift” was born weighing in at 8lbs 8oz. We were elated, and over the moon with joy. Six years later we conceived again, with a little girl this time. I was content with just having one child at this point, but my husband and son both really wanted a new addition to the family. After another high risk pregnancy, cerclage surgery, more weekly shots, and all of the fears and doubts from the past, our beautiful princess was born in August 2010. Just when life seemed balanced and rewarding with a healthy 6 year old son and new baby girl, another storm brewed. While entering my 4th month of my last pregnancy, I felt a knot in my breast. I figured it was a clogged milk duct, because I breastfed my son. I thought it would go away after I delivered and started breastfeeding again. I breastfed my daughter for 14 months. As I neared the end of breastfeeding I started having pains in my breast and stabbing pain in my armpit.. My OBGYN hoped the knot was just a small cyst that would dissolve itself. He sent me for an ultrasound to evaluate my breast and armpit. The appointment for an ultrasound turned into 2 other types of imaging the same day, and ended in being told a biopsy would be needed. I got the biopsy results 1/7/18. The knot in my breast is cancer, and it’s spread to my lymph nods which explains the pain in my underarm. After the initial shock, hurt, fear and tears. I read the whole 3 inch thick book given to me about breast cancer. I decided to embrace the fact that with surgery it could be removed, AND my insurance would pay for constructive breast surgery afterwards. In my mind I was still winning. The day before meeting the surgeon to discuss plans to remove the lump and my desire to get a new set of boobies afterwards, I had the worst chest pain. My family insisted I see my Primary Care Physician the next morning to address the horrific chest pain. before the appointment with the surgeon. Thank God I listened. I was rushed to have a CT scan done. The CT Tech advised that if they find anything wrong the doctor would call me within 2 hours. The doctor never called. I felt relieved. I met the surgeon later that day as planned. I advised him of the CT scan I had earlier. He went away to find the results before consulting with me about the upcoming surgery. A few minutes later he came in and advised me that surgery is off the table, and I need to start chemotherapy instead as soon as possible. The CT Scan revealed that the cancer was not only in my breast and lymph nods, it has spread to my lungs, liver, and spine. I have stage 4 breast cancer! I met with an Oncologist the very next morning. She told me that since my cancer tested positive for hormones, the best plan of action would be removing my ovaries, suppressing my hormones with oral medication, and with chemotherapy. So a couple of weeks later, I had my ovaries removed and started my chemotherapy a week later. Since I have stage 4 cancer, the goal is shrink my existing spots and keep them from spreading further. Surgery isn’t an option in my case. So I will indefinably be on chemo, until it stops working or the cancer possibly outsmarts my medicine. In hinesight, discovering the cancer when I first found the knot would've resulted in having to terminate my pregnancy, or the chemo causing serious birth defects to our child. So I'm happy we found out what it was after she was alive, healthy, and celebrated her 1st birthday. I have remained working 40 hour weeks through it all, with the exception of those days I don’t feel good. Some days I have to leave work early because I just don’t feel good. My employer is understanding, and FMLA provides me with job security. I get 14 days of vacation each year. But I reserve those 14 days to pay myself for the time I have to miss for follow up appointments, routine scans, blood work, and simply not feeling good. Even with medical insurance from my employer, I’m still responsible for $3200 out of pocket expenses each year before insurance covers the rest at 100%. Those days I’m unable to work reduce my paycheck and ability to cover the expenses I’ve accumulated since my diagnosis. I’m starring at $7600.00 in medical bills today. I’m not asking for your pity, but for your prayers. And if you are able and willing to contribute any penny to this fund I would appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. The scariest and most heartbreaking thing about my situation is the thought of leaving my children without a mother at such an early age. I’m proud of the man my husband has grown to be. And I know that he will do his best to be everything our kids need him to be, if without me. But I don’t want to leave the burden of my medical bills behind on them. This extra expense should go towards taking care of them and their education, not cleaning up the debris from this storm of my life. Our son is a straight ‘A’ student, performing 49% above his peers and the county. Our daughter, while not yet in school, is very talented and smart as well. I have high hopes for their future, and the greatness they will put forth. Thank you for your time to read this, all of your prayers, and any contribution you may be able to make towards this fund. May God bless you and your families. Humbly yours, Katrina. .