July 2025 we discovered we were pregnant with our rainbow baby. After a rough pregnancy, we finally got near the end. Our son was due 27th March 2026.

But no, on 21st May 2026, my whole life came crashing down. After going to the maternity suite at 9 AM because I had not felt the baby move (my husband waited at home with our other son, both of us thinking everything would be okay considering our son was a week until he was due to be born), I lay on the bed, and I was told the worst possible news any mother does not want to hear 'No heartbeat.' Those words and the looks on the faces of the three midwives haunt me to this day. Staring at the ceiling with no support from my loved ones, I lay numb, crying, not believing any of this was happening.

I was escorted to a room at the end of the corridor, where I was left alone. My body/brain in a state of fight or flight. I do not remember much, just that the room was silent and the loud clicking of the clock. My husband coming in and picking me up from the floor. The torture from having to tell him our son had died as he collapsed on the floor next to me.

We gave birth to our sleeping baby shortly after.

After spending 120 precious hours in silence staring at my sleeping baby, listening to that same clock ticking. Every time I hear a clock ticking i breakdown.

This whole experience has left me with PTSD. My arms are aching for our baby. Seeing other babies is torture, and life feels so unfair. Looking at our boys is keeping me fighting through this storm.

People who know me. Know I ask for nothing. I always put myself last Hence why I am asking is for a little help so that I can buy a piece of jewellery with his ashes placed inside. So that I can still hold him close.