Sian’s FFS Fund

Hi everyone,

My name is Sian. I am a South African 26 year old trans woman currently living in France. I grew up in Durbanville Cape Town, a beautiful but sadly quite conservative part of South Africa. I remember laughing, playing at the sea, dressing up at play school but also feeling a lot of gender dysphoria which felt like a constant grey cloud over my head. I never understood why I felt this sense of confusion and sadness around my identity and the way my gender was reflected back to me by others. I remember many nights closing my eyes and wishing I could wake up the way I imagined things to be, feeling trapped. As life happened, these feelings never left, and now I finally feel strong enough to go after what I feel true and right, that I can live as myself.

Since leaving my home city and being on my own journey I’ve been able to express myself in my full totality. Although this journey has been alone, I feel that the time has come to reach out for help, in order to take the next step. I am reaching out to you all in aims of helping me fund my gender affirming surgery, in this case FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery). Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS) includes specific reconstructive surgery procedures which alter typical ‘male’ features and bring them in alignment with more typical ‘feminine' ones. An example of one of these procedures, is a jaw reduction, which has the aim of reducing prominent jaw contours typical to male bone structure, in order to achieve an overall more feminine structure of the face. Other examples include a tracheal shave (reduction of Adams apple), feminizing rhinoplasty as well as brow bone contouring to ‘open up’ the appearance of the eyes to give a softer look. These procedures run deeper than just being cosmetic, as they give us a chance to finally feel at home in our bodies.

I have now been undergoing hormone replacement therapy for my transition (suppression of testosterone and replacement to estrogen) for just over one year. My journey so far has been filled with both happy and also very difficult moments, those often including heavy gender dysphoria and fear regarding my safety in my day to day life. The hormones have positively brought me to further phases of my transition, and with that also new ways in which I am perceived in public. I very often face harassment, aggression and uncomfortable situations in my day to day life. FFS will not only improve my self image, but also will help me ‘blend in’ and will improve my safety and public confidence to live in peace. Something we all deserve.

I launched this fundraiser two months ago, raising around 2800 euros which I’m eternally grateful for. I have used part of this amount to complete laser therapy which is needed before any surgery and is quite expensive and not covered by insurance. This has overall already changed my life and self perception. I have also used part to pay for my hormone shots which sometimes are 300 euros a shot as it has not been covered in the last 8 months.

Fortunately, I have found another clinic that aligns with the procedures I would like to have done, here in France where I have now integrated and applied for social security and insurance, something I haven’t had. The doctor has changed the lives of friends of mine in the same situation and from a significantly lower cost than what the previous clinic had quoted me.

I am looking to raise as close to the new amount (around 11 000) which is much more in reach than the previous 26 000 I had been quoted.

The money raised will cover the procedures I have chosen, clinic fees, anesthesia, materials, assistance, recovery, a night nurse, as well as pre- and post-operative consultations and overall will enable me the possibility of living as authentically as I can. Sadly, I am financially unable to cover it, and have tried seeking out other means of support which sadly have failed. That is why I have turned to all of you- my community, friends/chosen family for support during this process. I understand that the amount is large, but will also change my life positively forever. I truly believe that any donation, sharing of this page or even referring me to other potential resources will make this a possibility.

Apart from myself, I would also just like to take a moment to mention the sad disparity that my community face daily. With the rise in anti-trans policies, transphobia, hate murder/crimes and the spreading of transphobic rhetoric it is important we stand together, educated- in support and love. Aside from myself, If you are able to support any of these types of fundraisers for other trans people please try. They are literally life changing and otherwise not possible for many. We exist and we deserve to live in safety- with dignity and equal respect.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

With love

Sian <3