SHYRA's MEMORIAL SERVICE
May 29th,  2021 @ 11am 
Venture Church
777 Santa Fe Drive
Encinitas, CA 92024

If you plan to be at the Memorial, RSVP my messaging me directly so I can forward that information to the event coordinators for an accurate head count. Thank you! 

 

MAY 13, 2021

My little sister Shyra Joy went to heaven early on Tuesday morning, May 11th, less than a week after her 33rd birthday, and less than 24 hours after our grandfather unexpectedly passed away the night before.

Shyra's diagnosis of Ovarian Cancer in December of 2020 was devastating, first and foremost because Shyra had always dreamed of being a mother. For those of us who knew her, especially those families who had the privilege of Shyra being their nanny, it was no secret that Shyra loved children and was exceptionally gifted at caring for them as if they were her own. She undoubtedly inherited this gift from our own mom, whose greatest dream in life was to be the mother of four girls, whom she called her "four primroses."

The fact that Shyra passed away just after Mother's Day weekend is a cruel irony in the midst of a nightmare that robbed my sister, and our entire family, of so many dreams.

Shyra's dream was to be a mother.

My mother's dream was to watch all four of her daughters grow up, and become a grandmother to their children.

My own dream was to one day be an auntie to my sister's children--the kind of crazy, doting, off-the-wall eccentric auntie you only read about in books.

The last time I saw my sister in person, back in mid-March, we spoke about dreams.  We spoke about the power, and the audacity, of daring to dream big dreams in the face of an all-consuming nightmare. I proposed that refusing to give up on our dreams, no matter how impossible they might seem, was the bravest thing we could do in the face of so much loss. If we could dream our dreams big enough and loud enough, we could chase the screams of the nightmares away. At that time, I was convinced that even with only one ovary remaining, my sister could recover and have children one day, if only she could get the proper restorative treatments.

I remember sitting with her that evening in her semi-dark living room as she reclined on the couch, her breathing calm and shallow, her sweet smiling face looking half-asleep from the exhaustion of the day. I remember the way she grinned and gasped in surprise, then began to softly cry, as I presented her with the adorable baby booties pictured above. I'd been shopping a couple of days prior and as soon as I'd seen these booties, a little voice inside said, "These are for Shyra!"

When I gave these booties to my sister, I told her with a warm smile that this was a dream that might seem impossible, but one we would hold onto, together, for dear life. I had gotten a matching pair of baby booties for myself, since I've also been waiting my whole life to be a mother, without yet seeing that dream fulfilled. That evening I sat next to her and as we listened to quiet, fairytale music in the background, my sister and I played a game of make-believe, as she told me how she would re-decorate her husband's office into a nursery room once her dream baby arrived. We talked about everything from the color of the walls, to the decor in the room, to what kind of music she would want to play when the baby was sleeping, what the room would smell like (lavender essential oil, she decided), and even the inspirational quotes she wanted to hang on the walls. She even told me some of her favorite baby names, and we laughed and reminisced together over some of our favorite bedtime stories and sleepytime songs from our own childhoods.

As I've been grieving the unspeakable loss of my sister over the past two days, I kept remembering this beautiful moment we shared together. In the midst of the tears and anger I've been asking myself, "How do we wake up from this nightmare? What would it look like to dream a bigger dream, to dream something so audacious that it might seem nearly impossible?"

And then I asked myself, "If Shyra were here today, what could I do in memory of her life and her dreams that would bring her JOY???"

To that end, I have decided to set up a charitable foundation to serve women affected by ovarian cancer, as well as for children affected by cancer of any kind. The purpose of this foundation will be to provide grant funding for women and their children to receive the kind of holistic, alternative treatments which we were unable to provide for my sister in time to save her life. All of the alternative clinics I researched for my sister are not covered by insurance, and the cost is often a barrier to cancer patients getting the necessary treatments they need. I know that my sister Shyra, with her big heart for others, would love to know that the lives of other women and their children were being saved as a tribute to the legacy of love and motherhood she left behind. 

For the time being, this GoFundMe campaign will be used to cover any necessary costs for Shyra's burial, memorial services and outstanding medical bills, as well as any support services needed for my parents and 2 other sisters as they recover from caregiver burnout and the trauma of the last 6 months. After Shyra's memorial service at the end of this month, I will be communicating with donors regarding the use of any remaining funds toward the Hope for Motherhood foundation, which I will be officially launching over the next few weeks.

Thank you all for your support, and God Bless!

-Nicola Calderon

PLEASE NOTE: This is the only official fundraiser for Shyra's memorial. Please disregard any other accounts claiming to raise funds on her behalf, as we have received reports of potential fraud attempts. Thanks and God Bless!