Shugman's Mama Deserves Something Nice

Hi, my name is Meegan Lee Ochs-Potter and I am raising funds for Lola Lipscomp, who is the mother of Joseph "Shugman" Cox. Her son chose to be an organ donor on his driver's license. He was a hero who saved not only my husband Jay Potter's life, but many other lives as well.


When my beloved husband Jay was waiting for his heart transplant because of a condition he was born with, people would ask if we felt strange waiting for someone to die. I explained that neither of us want anyone to die, very much including Jay’s donor. People die every day, and our hope was that if someone died and had organs that could save lives, that they or their family would make the choice to share.

We had been told that only 3% of recipients and donor families ever meet. We knew it was unlikely we would get to meet them, but we were glad to have the chance to try to do the impossible and express our gratitude with letters sent through Donor Network West, which is the go between for recipients and donor families. Shugman's sister Angela asked for her family to meet Jay, which we were thrilled to have the chance to thank them in person and get to know who this amazing man was.

That first day, we met Lola, Shugman’s mother, and Angela, Tasha and Crystal, three of his sisters, many nieces and nephews, including, his sister Angela’s daughters Delphina and Ramina, Tasha’s daughters Nyesha and Kalia and sons Robert and Walmar. We spoke with his sister Charimmine on Facetime as well. It was a very emotional meeting and only the start of our journey together.

When we met Lola, she told us that when she took her children to get their driver’s license, she explained about signing up for organ donation. She feels strongly that people should help each other when they can. She taught her children well, and Shugman signed up to be an organ donor, so his family did not have to make this impossible decision.

We brought a stethoscope so that the family could hear Shugman's heart still beating. Jay wore a shirt that says “In this chest beats the heart of a hero”. Lola listened quietly. She must have had so many different emotions. His sisters took turns listening as well. Shugman was on life support for several days, and his sister Angela laid down with her brother and put her head on his chest and listened to his heart. It was very powerful when she heard Shugman’s heart in Jay’s chest and said “it’s strong”.

We learned that Shugman had six children between the ages of two and 22, some living in California, and some in Oklahoma. He was extremely kind and always willing to help others. He worked on cars and was always helping his siblings with their cars. He cut hair and worked at a Hayward food company. 

Since we met Shugman's family 10 months after his passing, we have celebrated him in many ways, including helping people sign up to be organ donors, a walk with DNW called Donate to Life where donor and recipient families raise awareness of organ donation, and gatherings at Lake Merritt with his friends and family. Most recently, being with the family as the person who shot Shugman (in a three-block road rage that was took less than 60 seconds, less than a minute long) was tried and convicted of his murder. Shugman's sister Charimmine, who lives in Oklahoma, came for the trial and was able to hear her brother's heart still beating.

Because of one bullet, six children lost their father, five siblings lost a brother and Lola has lost the second of her seven children.

This family has been through so much. Nothing can bring back their loved one, but it would be nice to help Lola and some of her family go to Pismo Beach in August for a few days for some relaxation and joy now that Shugman can rest in peace. If you can help, please do.