For a more in-depth description as to why I am asking for help please read the following.
Asking for help is uncomfortable for me. I don’t do it often because of negative self talk. Is it an admittance of failure to ask for help? Is it shameful to ask for help? When do you ask for help? Am I too old to ask for help? What would that even look like? At the end of the month, I turn 30. That magical age where I thought I’d have everything figured out, together, perfect. NOPE! Last week my car broke down for the last time and with that, so did I. To quote Albert Einstein, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” Well this is insanity. Putting half my paycheck every month into a car that breaks down every month, just so I could drive said car for my job to make the money it takes to fix it every month. How am I supposed to plan ahead for my life with a car repair bill constantly looming over my head? I’ll be honest with you - I make enough money to pay for an affordable car note, but I never thought I was adult enough to have a newer car till now. This past year has provided the opportunities to choose believing in my personal strength over fear. This crowdfunding being the biggest form of self-care in allowing myself to lean on my chosen family (which is all of you) for support as lack of actual biological family. Making a donation to my car fund is not only a monetary helping hand, it is also a declaration that you will bear witness to my growth as a blossoming adult. It is a form of support I don’t have access to, too often in my life. Since I am a caregiver, having a safe and reliable car is a necessity in my work, and therefore necessary for me to generate income. To not worry about fixing a machine every month would make it possible for me to feel safe and grounded enough to explore other career interests and desires. I feel vulnerable asking for help but it is what I need at the moment. I am thankful for whatever I receive even if it’s sweet words of encouragement. Thank you.
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