SHE'S FREE TO BE! The cost of protection and autonomy.
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$4,555 raised of $21.7K
32 donations
UPDATE September 10, 2026
THE FREEDOM GRILL: COURAGE
Nearly six years have passed since my sister created SHE'S FREE TO BE! after I escaped a violent and coercively controlling relationship. I remain deeply grateful to everyone who contributed at a time when I was rebuilding my life and seeking protection.
In April 2021, I was granted a five-year Order of Protection. I am now back in Family Court seeking a five-year extension. Over these years, I have continued rebuilding my life, reclaiming my autonomy, making art, maintaining my livelihood, and speaking about violence in the home, coercive control, and Intimate Terrorism.
One of the things I have come to understand more deeply is that violence in the home does not remain in the home. “Domestic” violence affects society as a whole because its consequences ripple outward—through families and friendships, into workplaces and livelihoods, through courts, healthcare systems, schools, communities, and the institutions survivors must rely upon while trying to rebuild, with consequences that can extend into future generations.
Survivors can spend years navigating legal systems simply to obtain and maintain basic safety and protection. Employment and financial stability can be affected by the demands of recovery and prolonged legal proceedings. What is commonly called “domestic” violence is not merely a private matter between two people. Its consequences are societal. The financial burden of seeking safety, protection, and accountability should not be understood as a burden for survivors alone to carry.
True accountability means recognizing that “domestic” violence—Intimate Terrorism—is not only an individual failure of the abuser, but also a broader societal failure whenever warning signs are ignored, survivors are dismissed, or institutions prioritize appearances over protection. Ending “domestic” violence requires cultural change, institutional competence, public accountability, and an unwavering commitment to the safety, dignity, and humanity of survivors.
The continuing legal process has also carried a substantial financial cost. For those who would like to share some of that burden, contributions to SHE'S FREE TO BE! will help replenish resources already spent on legal fees and other case-related expenses as I continue pursuing protection, accountability, and prevention.
For anyone interested in what I have been doing—and in the knowledge and deeper understanding that have emerged from these years—I invite you to visit A MIRror of DREAD. Through art, witness, research, and lived experience, I examine coercive control and Intimate Terrorism, what those experiences reveal about the systems survivors are required to navigate, and why violence in the home must be understood as a societal issue.
To everyone who helped me when this journey began: thank you. Your support mattered then, and it still does.
Six years ago, the goal was to help me get free. Today, the work is about protecting the freedom and autonomy I fought so hard to reclaim.
UPDATE July 11, 2023
This gathering of support and funds is to help provide reimbursement of legal fees for a domestic violence survivor... a dear super amazing loved one, my sister Gwendolyn Skaggs. It's one thing to be suffering economic hardship during a pandemic, but it's another to be suffering economic hardship during a pandemic while in a violent relationship and compromised employment. When a victim is finally able to plan their escape, time is of the absolute essence! On October 7th of 2020, Gwendolyn did just that. Often, once away from the abuser, the only way to secure safety immediately and efficiently is to obtain legal force. This life-saving act is rarely affordable. In this case, the no-choice but wise, necessary decision gained access to a legal force to be reckoned with and allowed for a near-immediate delivery of an Order of Protection.
Now, in an effort to help the survivor continue and stay on the brave winding path to emotional and psychological recovery, and hold the perpetrator accountable, it is imperative to lift the overwhelming economic clouds from the financial setback that has fallen upon her. Your support, in any amount, contributes to a priceless ticket to holistic FREEDOM! Funds raised will go directly to Gwendolyn to help alleviate the financial and emotional debt caused by the man whom she now holds a 5-year Order of Protection against, granted on April 23, 2021. The amount being raised includes the retainer fee for legal support that expedited the emergency Order of Protection, as well as ongoing fees to date for violations of the set forth OOP and the perpetrator's attempt to evade accountability.
Because even if domestic violence isn’t happening to you, or near you—or by you—it affects everyone in some way because it affects society. But that also means that everyone has the power to help stop it. Not just in the moment, but in all the moments we perpetuate the silences, misunderstandings, or societal norms that keep it going. When we stop domestic violence, we enable all women, men, and children to fully participate in society and be their best selves. That’s why it’s up to all of us to drive the culture change that will make domestic violence unacceptable.
"The truth is that domestic violence touches many of us. It is very possible that someone you know – a friend, sister, daughter or colleague – is experiencing abuse. One in four women will experience domestic violence at some point in her lifetime. And every week two women are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales, and 10 women take their own lives as the only way they know how to escape a violent partner. You are almost certainly paying for it." Medical, legal and housing costs.
"This violence is not a private matter. Behind closed doors it is shielded and hidden and it only intensifies. It is protected by silence – everyone's silence." - Patrick Stewart: the legacy of domestic violence (The Guardian)
Make sure the women in your world are safe. If you or anyone you know are in an unsafe relationship please refer to the following information. Thank you for your attention, consideration and support.
Links noted below provide a comprehensive understanding of Intimate Partner Violence/Coercive Control, Narcissistic and Litigation Abuse.
Abusers are using a sinister new route to silence their accusers.
More here: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
Thank you.
Organizer and beneficiary
gwendolyn skaggs
Beneficiary