A Sibling for Sonja

Mara and Carl have been struggling with infertility since 2018. They hope to add a sibling for their daughter in the stars, Sonja Ingrid, and to their family. Funds from these efforts will be used to help pay for a program of three IVF cycles and medication which is upwards of $59,000. If, at the end of all three cycles, they do not bring home a living baby, the money will be returned to them, and they plan on using that toward adoption options. It is with humility and gratitude that I invite you to help them on this journey.

Some back story: They were lucky enough to conceive their first child in the summer of 2020. They were over the moon; they had just purchased a home, Mara started a job in a new school district, and their dream of expanding their family was coming true!

At their 20-week anatomy scan, they learned that their baby wasn’t growing as expected and were referred to Maternal Fetal Medicine. On Christmas Eve, Mara went to yet another appointment alone because of COVID-19 precautions, and video called Carl as they learned that unless the pregnancy continued to 24 weeks, it would not be viable. The following month was a blur of emotions while trying to strike the balance between realism and optimism.

Once the 24-week mark was met, Mara was hospitalized in the Antepartum Unit where they hoped she would stay for many weeks. Later that night, the baby was showing signs of distress and Mara delivered Sonja Ingrid via emergency classical c-section. Sonja weighed in at 12 ounces, and was immediately rushed to the NICU. The following days were a mix of recovery and learning how to be Sonja’s best advocates. On the morning of January 29th, Sonja suffered a pulmonary pneumothorax. NICU staff tried to resuscitate Sonja for 45 minutes while her parents helplessly watched the doctors work. Mara and Carl were able to hold Sonja for the first time that day as she slipped away painlessly.

The following 18 months were spent learning how to live with a broken heart and how to parent a child that is no longer earthside. Because of the nature of the c-section, they had to wait a year and a half to start trying again to avoid uterine rupture, which could very likely lead to death for both mother and baby.

Once they started with fertility treatments again, Mara conceived in July 2022, and miscarried shortly after. They moved to IUI, intrauterine insemination, and Mara was once again pregnant in October 2022 but miscarried in November. Doctors have advised that they are at a point in their journey where IVF (in vitro fertilization) is the next stage for hoping to bring home a living baby. Mara and Carl both work in the public school system, and their savings were significantly impacted when all of the treatments leading to Sonja’s conception were out of pocket, followed by purchasing a home, and encountering hospital bills related to Sonja’s birth and NICU stay.

Once they realized that funding was keeping them from continuing on the path to expanding their family, they felt there was a tangible way that their loved ones might be willing to help. Since Sonja’s death, Mara and Carl’s families have supported them in a wide variety of ways, and they continue to do so. Similarly, their community members have rallied around them, providing an unimaginable amount of support for which they are eternally grateful, yet those dear ones often wonder what else they might do to be of help. For those willing and able to help them raise the necessary funds for the IVF treatments, which are not covered by insurance, this page has been created for that option. They look forward to filling their unoccupied nursery with the sound of giggles and cries, and most importantly, stories of big sister Sonja, who has been watching over them every part of the way. Thank you again for the many ways you continue to support Carl and Mara on this journey.