Sending love (and rent money) to the Pak family
Donation protected
Amanda Pak’s cancer journey
Do you ever meet someone and immediately know that they are a better human than you will ever be? You just feel so grateful that they choose to spend time with you? For me, that person is Amanda Mercedes Pak. We were devastated earlier this year to learn that Amanda is battling radiation and chemotherapy for the 2nd time in just 5 years. She just celebrated her 32nd birthday. I made this fundraiser in hopes of easing the burden of rent for one month in early 2022.
Amanda and I met in 2011, when I was 20 and she was 22. We were both working as classroom assistants at a local preschool. I was going through an exceptionally challenging time in my life and a very low sense of self worth. Amanda was beautiful, caring, smart, and so confident. I watched how she navigated her maternal instincts with the children and effortless charm with the adults in the room.
Do you ever meet someone and immediately know that they are a better human than you will ever be? You just feel so grateful that they choose to spend time with you? For me, that person is Amanda Mercedes Pak. We were devastated earlier this year to learn that Amanda is battling radiation and chemotherapy for the 2nd time in just 5 years. She just celebrated her 32nd birthday. I made this fundraiser in hopes of easing the burden of rent for one month in early 2022.
Amanda and I met in 2011, when I was 20 and she was 22. We were both working as classroom assistants at a local preschool. I was going through an exceptionally challenging time in my life and a very low sense of self worth. Amanda was beautiful, caring, smart, and so confident. I watched how she navigated her maternal instincts with the children and effortless charm with the adults in the room.
Eventually we became friends outside of our workplace and I met her boyfriend (at the time), Gene. Amanda and Gene showed me kindness and generosity at a time in my life when, well, my entire life felt like a dumpster fire. The love and acceptance that they made me feel during those first few years is something that has stayed with me to this day.
As our friendship grew, so did Amanda’s family. Amanda and Gene got married in 2014 and shortly after found themselves expecting their first child. Amanda loved dreaming about her future. She hoped to have two biological children and adopt a third. After all, she had her degree in social work and Gene had his special education credential. Their home was the perfect picture of stability and happiness.
During Amanda’s pregnancy something began to change. She would have short periods of confusion and began struggling to remember certain details of her day. She was diagnosed with pregnancy related epilepsy that required her to give up her job and her drivers license. “One day at a time”, Gene would always say, staying cool and effortless as ever.
As our friendship grew, so did Amanda’s family. Amanda and Gene got married in 2014 and shortly after found themselves expecting their first child. Amanda loved dreaming about her future. She hoped to have two biological children and adopt a third. After all, she had her degree in social work and Gene had his special education credential. Their home was the perfect picture of stability and happiness.
During Amanda’s pregnancy something began to change. She would have short periods of confusion and began struggling to remember certain details of her day. She was diagnosed with pregnancy related epilepsy that required her to give up her job and her drivers license. “One day at a time”, Gene would always say, staying cool and effortless as ever.
Their beautiful daughter was born in July of 2015. They were both over the moon with joy. I visited them shortly after she was born. They would both sleepily smile at me, and then turn their eyes back to their sleeping daughter. “Isn’t she just perfect” they both would say. From then on, it was obvious, parenting this precious little girl was their main priority.
For their daughter’s first birthday they planned a trip to Disneyland. They were doting parents, eager to make special memories for their daughter. It was during this trip that Amanda had her first grand mal seizure.
Gene rushed Amanda to the hospital, with their one-year-old daughter in the backseat. It was discovered that Amanda had a brain tumor. It was likely to have been slow growing, but exacerbated through pregnancy.
In 2016 Amanda went through open brain surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. Her team of doctor’s gently told her that on average, people with her diagnosis live about 5 years.
Neither Gene or Amanda have families who are in a position to help them - financially or otherwise. Gene took time off from his job as a special education teacher to care for both Amanda and their young daughter. Amanda was unable to be left alone by herself or with their daughter because her seizures were unpredictable and sporadic. I would occasionally come to their house to “babysit” Amanda while Gene took a break.
At one point, Amanda showed me the mesh mask that she had to wear over her face during her hours-long radiation sessions. It was in her daughter’s toy chest right next to princess dresses and a fireman costume. I burst into tears. I just could not fathom how this family was handling such stress. Gene automatically directed their daughter’s attention elsewhere. He shot me a look that said, “try not to cry in front of the baby”. They were doing everything in their power to give her a happy childhood.
For their daughter’s first birthday they planned a trip to Disneyland. They were doting parents, eager to make special memories for their daughter. It was during this trip that Amanda had her first grand mal seizure.
Gene rushed Amanda to the hospital, with their one-year-old daughter in the backseat. It was discovered that Amanda had a brain tumor. It was likely to have been slow growing, but exacerbated through pregnancy.
In 2016 Amanda went through open brain surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. Her team of doctor’s gently told her that on average, people with her diagnosis live about 5 years.
Neither Gene or Amanda have families who are in a position to help them - financially or otherwise. Gene took time off from his job as a special education teacher to care for both Amanda and their young daughter. Amanda was unable to be left alone by herself or with their daughter because her seizures were unpredictable and sporadic. I would occasionally come to their house to “babysit” Amanda while Gene took a break.
At one point, Amanda showed me the mesh mask that she had to wear over her face during her hours-long radiation sessions. It was in her daughter’s toy chest right next to princess dresses and a fireman costume. I burst into tears. I just could not fathom how this family was handling such stress. Gene automatically directed their daughter’s attention elsewhere. He shot me a look that said, “try not to cry in front of the baby”. They were doing everything in their power to give her a happy childhood.
The open brain surgery that Amanda endured while awake and alert, had removed the majority of the tumor. For five years Amanda’s tumor showed no activity. The day that we passed the five year mark I felt like the whole world took a massive sigh of relief. We did it. Homefree.
Fast forward to June of 2021 - Amanda, Gene, and their now 7 year old daughter helped me plan and decorate for my own daughter’s one year old birthday party. Amanda and I spoke about how great it felt to have made it past that five year mark.
Fast forward to June of 2021 - Amanda, Gene, and their now 7 year old daughter helped me plan and decorate for my own daughter’s one year old birthday party. Amanda and I spoke about how great it felt to have made it past that five year mark.
Unfortunately, this honeymoon period didn’t last. In July of 2021, it was discovered that Amanda has a 2nd tumor, also located in the brain, and much more aggressive than the original tumor. This meant another open brain surgery, more radiation, more chemotherapy, and more time off work for Gene.
I made this fundraiser as a way to help these wonderful humans because I know that they would never ask for themselves. They are selfless, humble, gracious and remarkably accepting people. I am lucky to call them friends. My goal is to pay their January (or February) rent. I believe that this is about $3,000/month. I would love to take just that one thing off their plate for a month, so that they can do what they do best, making beautiful memories with their beautiful daughter.
I made this fundraiser as a way to help these wonderful humans because I know that they would never ask for themselves. They are selfless, humble, gracious and remarkably accepting people. I am lucky to call them friends. My goal is to pay their January (or February) rent. I believe that this is about $3,000/month. I would love to take just that one thing off their plate for a month, so that they can do what they do best, making beautiful memories with their beautiful daughter.
Please feel free to share this story with as many people as you can. Gene and Amanda are not on any social media so they will not see it.
Please do not ruin the surprise! I am hoping to surprise them with the money in early 2022.
Organizer and beneficiary
Shelby Ochoa
Organizer
Hollister, CA
Gene Pak
Beneficiary