Send me, Noah, your favorite boy to go run around Ottawa for two days to ask all your questions to the Military Industrial Complex as a member of the INDEPENDENT MEDIA

Why trust people like CDR or Pugliese to answer the right questions, when you can trust ME instead! A completely 'qualified' individual who is certain to be trusted at Canada's largest defense and security expo.

But Noah, why not fund it yourself you cheap Bastard?

Well because my wife would kill me if I decided to spend two grand to go run around Ottawa with the boys instead of 'Spending time with the kids' or 'Paying off your student loans'

YOU understand how important this is, but she doesn't (BOO)

But how can I trust you to go?

You can't! But who else are you gonna send? I'm the best you got, and while there is a fifty/fifty chance I take that money and go to New Orleans instead, that's a risk you just need to take.

What if you don't raise enough money?

In the unfortunate case you all fail, I will use that money to provide back to the community, by buying myself a new graphics card to... Speed up my substack posting?

I will also forcibly conscript my friend Lava to draw fighter jets ladies.

At this rate, what do you have to lose? You have disposable income so dispose of it with me!