Send Bradley home to be buried
Donation protected
Dear family and friends,
It is my deeply sorrowful duty to inform you that the great love of my life, my childs father, my best friend, Air Force Veteran, and husband, Bradley Dilworth has passed away.
Words cannot properly express the tremendous loss I am feeling. Even as I am writing this, I am hyperventilating into his pillow which I put his shirt over. Even now, he is comforting me, he is my rock.
We always talked about how if we died, we would tell the whole story to our loved ones, even if it hurts. Trigger Warning if you cannot handle it stop reading ⚠️
He got out of the Air Force, honorably, roughly a year ago. He was majorly depressed, and filed paperwork with the VA for depression and post traumatic stress disorder. He was so depressed 3 weeks ago he started antidepressants for the first time in his life. He did not like how they made him feel so about a week ago he decided to get off of them and flush them down the toilet.
He went spiraling hard and fast. On Wednesday he came home from work on base, convinced people were out to get him. Really serious delusional thinking. He expressed suicidal ideations to me. After talking to him for 5-6 hours, I convinced him to go to the emergency room.
When we went to the emergency room, I told them he needed serious help and that he was having paranoid delusions and suicidal ideations. They asked to speak to him alone. I don’t know what was said but when I was let back in the room they said he does not meet criteria for hospitalization.
I tried telling them they are wrong but they gave us medication to help him sleep and sent us home. The next day Thursday he was doing way better. We went to Ihop and were preparing for an important meeting about our home repairs. I was mad at him about the day before at the er, but before I went to sleep…I covered him in a plush blanket and kissed him on the forehead and said goodnight. He gave me a little smile after that kiss and that is my last living memory of him.
The next morning I woke up around 520am and he wasint in the room. I instantly began to feel panic looking all over the hotel for him. I called the police after about 45 mins of looking and calling him. I took the baby to daycare and came back looking for him in the big park behind our hotel. While I was searching the park unbeknownst to me the police were knocking on my door…
I will never forget the officer saying that they found him, and that he is deceased. They found him hung in a tree in the park behind our hotel. A beautiful place near a lake and the library.
The officer said that he had been there since before I woke up. My world ended at that moment and time stood still before I realized that I was screaming hysterically. I cried uncontrollably, hyperventilating, throwing up, just unable to process the information for hours.
I feel so scared and alone, plagued with guilt about not doing more. I was told by the officer and a chaplain that I need to not cry in front of Dylan, our 2 year old. That he is too small to understand that daddy is dead and is not coming back.
I know some of you are mad at him, I ask you to please try not to be. I knew first hand how much he was truly suffering, I believe in my heart, the medication situation made him take that last extra step. He was not in his right mind.
Those who knew Bradley or “Dilpickle” as some of our friends called him, know that he was genuine, hard working, and demonstrated excellence in everything he did. He was a true blue Airman the embodiment of of our core values. He was the most loving supportive father and husband I could have ever hoped for. He cared about everyone, if you needed help he would actually show up. If you needed a main battle tank or a raid leader in World of Warcraft, he was one of the best in the world. He was the most beautiful soul and man I have ever met, a stone cold stud, and the most rootin-est, tootin-est, son of bitch this side of the Mississippi. (He actually has an award that says that, his favorite of all time ). I think he is here with me because as I smiled writing this last part the sun ☀️ started shining brightly out of the dark grey clouds.
We talked about this before in our lives, and it was Bradleys wish to be buried in Mississippi with his ancestors. We are in Alaska now so I am starting a go fund me to honor his wish and pay for funeral expenses, body transfer, flights for family, as well as daycare for little Dylan. Please make sure to kiss your loved ones goodnight. If you or a loved one are contemplating suicide please seek and accept help.
Thank you to all my friends and family for your support at this sorrowful time. I ask you to please actually say prayers for Bradley Dilworth. I believe in my heart God is forgiving, and he was truly not himself when he did this, and that he is in heaven. I love you all. Thank you for helping us.
It is my deeply sorrowful duty to inform you that the great love of my life, my childs father, my best friend, Air Force Veteran, and husband, Bradley Dilworth has passed away.
Words cannot properly express the tremendous loss I am feeling. Even as I am writing this, I am hyperventilating into his pillow which I put his shirt over. Even now, he is comforting me, he is my rock.
We always talked about how if we died, we would tell the whole story to our loved ones, even if it hurts. Trigger Warning if you cannot handle it stop reading ⚠️
He got out of the Air Force, honorably, roughly a year ago. He was majorly depressed, and filed paperwork with the VA for depression and post traumatic stress disorder. He was so depressed 3 weeks ago he started antidepressants for the first time in his life. He did not like how they made him feel so about a week ago he decided to get off of them and flush them down the toilet.
He went spiraling hard and fast. On Wednesday he came home from work on base, convinced people were out to get him. Really serious delusional thinking. He expressed suicidal ideations to me. After talking to him for 5-6 hours, I convinced him to go to the emergency room.
When we went to the emergency room, I told them he needed serious help and that he was having paranoid delusions and suicidal ideations. They asked to speak to him alone. I don’t know what was said but when I was let back in the room they said he does not meet criteria for hospitalization.
I tried telling them they are wrong but they gave us medication to help him sleep and sent us home. The next day Thursday he was doing way better. We went to Ihop and were preparing for an important meeting about our home repairs. I was mad at him about the day before at the er, but before I went to sleep…I covered him in a plush blanket and kissed him on the forehead and said goodnight. He gave me a little smile after that kiss and that is my last living memory of him.
The next morning I woke up around 520am and he wasint in the room. I instantly began to feel panic looking all over the hotel for him. I called the police after about 45 mins of looking and calling him. I took the baby to daycare and came back looking for him in the big park behind our hotel. While I was searching the park unbeknownst to me the police were knocking on my door…
I will never forget the officer saying that they found him, and that he is deceased. They found him hung in a tree in the park behind our hotel. A beautiful place near a lake and the library.
The officer said that he had been there since before I woke up. My world ended at that moment and time stood still before I realized that I was screaming hysterically. I cried uncontrollably, hyperventilating, throwing up, just unable to process the information for hours.
I feel so scared and alone, plagued with guilt about not doing more. I was told by the officer and a chaplain that I need to not cry in front of Dylan, our 2 year old. That he is too small to understand that daddy is dead and is not coming back.
I know some of you are mad at him, I ask you to please try not to be. I knew first hand how much he was truly suffering, I believe in my heart, the medication situation made him take that last extra step. He was not in his right mind.
Those who knew Bradley or “Dilpickle” as some of our friends called him, know that he was genuine, hard working, and demonstrated excellence in everything he did. He was a true blue Airman the embodiment of of our core values. He was the most loving supportive father and husband I could have ever hoped for. He cared about everyone, if you needed help he would actually show up. If you needed a main battle tank or a raid leader in World of Warcraft, he was one of the best in the world. He was the most beautiful soul and man I have ever met, a stone cold stud, and the most rootin-est, tootin-est, son of bitch this side of the Mississippi. (He actually has an award that says that, his favorite of all time ). I think he is here with me because as I smiled writing this last part the sun ☀️ started shining brightly out of the dark grey clouds.
We talked about this before in our lives, and it was Bradleys wish to be buried in Mississippi with his ancestors. We are in Alaska now so I am starting a go fund me to honor his wish and pay for funeral expenses, body transfer, flights for family, as well as daycare for little Dylan. Please make sure to kiss your loved ones goodnight. If you or a loved one are contemplating suicide please seek and accept help.
Thank you to all my friends and family for your support at this sorrowful time. I ask you to please actually say prayers for Bradley Dilworth. I believe in my heart God is forgiving, and he was truly not himself when he did this, and that he is in heaven. I love you all. Thank you for helping us.
Organizer
Natalie Dilworth
Organizer
Anchorage, AK