Saving Grandma’s Home

The  picture is from a year ago.  We got the roof tarped,  but a couple more really bad storms have done more damage and the tarp isn't holding up.  

Hurricanes Irene and Sandy did a lot of damage to the home.  This is one hole in the roof.


A Lifetime of Memories

Mom is 86.  She still works (and insists we are too young to mow the lawn on her riding mower).   My youngest sister, Brenda (58), and I (66) live with her and we both work as well.  None of us makes much money, but we pool our resources, live simply and get by.  Mom always helped others who needed a hand up and there were quite a few folks that Mom took in and who stayed here when they needed a safe haven until they could get back on their feet. 

My dad bought this house for her back in 1963.  He passed away in 1971 and Mom kept the house going for her children.  We had a very close-knit, extended family that included ‘Bampop’ and Nana.  Everybody pitched in and did what was necessary to keep the house running and repaired.   After college,  I got married and moved to California,  but when my husband's job relocated him back here, Mom took us in, plus our baby daughter,  until we could find a place.  We never did and when Tim got relocated to Virginia, my daughter and I stayed with Mom until he could find a place down there.  Again, he never did and he divorced me by publication in 1999.  

This house has been our home since 1963.  Brenda has never really known any other home.   Mom doesn’t want to live anywhere else and, at 86, she shouldn’t have to deal with all that moving entails.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Two major hurricanes and, we suspect, a small tornado did damage to our home, pulling off shingles and loosening gutters. We didn’t realize the extent of the damage at the time because we were all working and trying to keep things together.

Shannon.  My motto is keep smiling....but it's getting harder and harder to do.  

Over the course of four consecutive years, each of us had some major emergency health issues that required hospital stays. I had a bout of swine flu one year and a Norovirus the next.  I was so sick that all I could do was sleep, get up for aspirin and water and go back to bed.  Eventually, I landed in an ambulance with practically no blood pressure and seven brand new bleeding ulcers.  They transfused three bags of blood into me, ran tests. I was there close to a week.

Brenda after two weeks in the rehab facility.

Brenda, who already has Lyme, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, was injured at work and ended up with two rods, four screws and a bone graft in her spine.  Two days later, the hospital called us to say she was going in for a second emergency surgery due to complications.  Her recovery was nothing like the in and out in one day procedures on TV.  She couldn’t return to work for over four months and has major pain to this day, but she still works.

The worst of the hospital episodes was Mom’s.  She went to the doctor for what she thought was a lingering bronchitis.  X-rays showed a denser area, so she checked into the hospital for more tests.  The doctor there told her it was cancer before any tests were even scheduled.  Things snowballed into an epic hospital and nursing home saga of misdiagnosis, unnecessary tests, miscommunications and incorrect medications and dosages that almost did kill her. 

Mom was hanging on by a thread and  the doom and gloom doctor said we had to be strong for her in her final moments and she was sending her to a bigger hospital via Medivac helicopter because she didn’t think mom would survive an ambulance ride.  Nice bedside manner, doc. 

My sister and I got in my van and tried to beat the copter to the hospital, or at least get there about the same time.   On the way down, my brakes failed on Route 80 during rush hour, but I made it to the hospital anyway.  We came home in the cab of a tow truck that night.

The brilliant doctor assigned to Mom at the new hospital correctly diagnosed her, did VATS surgery on her and told us she had a huge pulmonary hematoma (possibly caused by the first doctor ordering a second needle biopsy to find the cancer that she “knew” was there compounded by excessive blood thinners) but no sign of cancer.  Mom was out of work for almost six months recovering and still says she has never quite bounced back from it although, like the trooper she is, she resumed her duties at the rehab.

We all worked at that drug and alcohol rehab until it was taken over by a bigger company.  My sister and I were laid off because  our department was downsized about the same time both our cars died. Luckily, Mom's car kept us going.   Mom still works there as a BHT on weekend overnights.  We got her picture above just after she got home on Sunday morning.
 

Insurance Refused To Help

Because of dealing with recovery and recuperation, looking for new jobs when we should be retiring and finding affordable vehicles that ran decently, we didn’t notice the hole in the roof.  Squirrels noticed it though and got in, which is when we noticed it.  The insurance company said they didn’t cover holes caused by squirrels and would not honor the claim.  Mom said the Allstate agent was not very nice and she didn’t appeal it.  

Now, the insurance company demands we repair the roof, install siding and gutters, take down one of the twin oak trees (which they say is leaning toward the house), repave the driveway, replace doors and install a new railing on the sundeck or they will discontinue homeowner’s coverage as of the end of August.  There are other issues, but those are the biggest ones.

These repairs will run about $70,000 and that’s a low estimate.  It’s almost impossible for Mom to get a loan.   A reverse mortgage at her age would mean that, should anything happen to her, the loan would come due immediately.   My sister and I would then be homeless as well.   

What Do We do Now?

Mom is scared and depressed and so are we.  I hate to see her cry, but I have no resources to help her.  My sister did not get much of a settlement from the company and will probably go on Social Security Disability.   

Our family has always taken care of matters ourselves, worked or strategized to find a solution and tried never to impose on anyone for even minor help but this time we need to ask.  

A friend suggested I try GoFundMe.   I was initially resistant and Mom doesn’t think anything like this would work, but it’s our best shot at this point.

Any donations will be appreciated, gratefully accepted and put to good use to make the house safe, comfortable and secure again. Mom may not have a lot of years left, but she loves the house and deserves to spend them here.   

Thank you for taking the time to read this.  Please share this on Facebook or other media you have.  Tell your friends and churches. We’re desperate and time is short. 

If we are so blessed by your generosity that we end up with extra funds after everything is taken care of, we would like to share those with others who have no place to turn.

May your life be blessed.