Save Tinys Life, or End of Life expenses
Donation protected
On march, 2014, when I was 14 years old, I got my first dog for my promotion gift. Ive had another family dog before him, but Tiny Pickles was “mine.”
And he proved that to me. Tiny has been here for me though multiple very traumatic events before my life began to stabilize as it is now. Shortly after he arrived, my younger brother died. At such a young age, with few resources and support, I turned to tiny for any comfort. Fast forward to 15, My adopted mother put me back into foster care because she didn’t believe she was able to continue to care for me in crisis at her old age. (Early 70s.) My time in care was incredibly traumatic as well. Being torn away from everything I knew, placed in foster homes and eventually long-term group homes, I yearned for my weekly visits as they meant I would see Tiny, my only source of love. The comfort of home to me is the fur on his chest. When I was 17, I was drugged and kidnapped. I was a missing person and a victim of human trafficking for approximately a month before I was able to escape. I started intense in-treatment therapy, and on my treatment plan that was written by doctors and therapist, was time with Tiny. I’m hopeful I’m expressing equally how much he has done for me, and how incredible our shared love and bond is. Please hold on until the end. Through all of this, my adopted mother promised he would come home to me once I was on my own.
I returned to Peoria shortly before turning 19. I was not emotionally stable at this point; I couldn’t hold down a job nor could I even function being alone for fear my traffickers would return for me. Shortly after getting pregnant, about a month or two, I was experiencing psychosis. My mental health was plummeting. I was visiting tiny on a regular basis at my adopted mother’s house and it was suggested to me by my therapist it might be time to bring tiny home. She expressed many of the benefits animals can have for their emotionally disregulated owner l and that I might see them. So I did. And it wasn’t over night, or at the blink of an eye, but slowly and surely, he benefited me in dozens of ways plus. All of this was five years ago now. In these five plus years, I have had incredible growth. I have joined an intensive therapy program that is held twice a week for the last two years, I always take my medicine and see my doctor regularly, I have been gainfully employed for the last four years, and have gone up the ladder of employment as well. I have maintained a home for three years, my own car for two and have furthered my education. All of this growth can be attributed to Tiny five years ago. Of course my daughter my main motivator, but Tiny was my main source of support. My source of energy to do it all. Before my daughter came in 2020, I was not prepared to be a mother. I was scared and unsure and obviously unstable. But once I got tiny, for the first time ever since the trauma of trafficking, I was able to be alone in my apartment again! I was able to go outside at night to take him potty. I started working, and I kept the job! For the first time EVER for me, I maintained employment through out my entire pregnancy and after until I switched to a new position. Something in my head clicked then for that first time that hadn’t before, I had to be functioning. I had to be, for tiny and for my daughter. I had the same kind of “click” happen once more only after I gave birth to my daughter and looked into her eyes. And Tiny woke me up to that idea, before she ever came. I truly believe that God sent Tiny to me so that I may be able to prepare and become the amazing, loving, functioning mom and human that I am today. I am so proud of my family and where we are at, from where we have come.
A little bit more about me now, and the situation we are in today. A year ago, Tiny was diagnosed with dementia. He began a new medicated food that was suppposed to help not only an existing gut issue, but with a regular routine and other therapies, should help him maintain his pain and other symptoms of dementia that are worsened by pain and anxiety. And it did! He receives two oral medications twice a day, two medicated baths a month, medicated food twice a day, and red light laser therapy twice a week to reduce inflammation and symptoms of arthritis. Before waking up this morning, he was a totally playful, loving, energetic and trusting boy. He loved to cuddle and kiss faces, he loved more than anything to play fetch and keep away with his toys. He loves to burry his toys and dig them out. He is not the average 14 year old boy. This morning, I woke up at 7 AM to him sitting with his back legs splayed out and not moving at all. He was covered in his own urine and throw up. After cleaning him up, I took him outside to see if he would walk in the yard. He did not. He began shaking outside, his mouth hung up and he lay down for a moment. A few seconds after, he got up and frog jumped almost all over the yard, the street, the neighbors yard. Running into cars, mailboxes etc. he was totally neurotic. After catching him I brought him to tri county emergency hospital. He was still having what we learned were seizures about every 10-20 minutes. We were told the cost to stabilize him (sedste and monitor) until tomorrow would be $2,500. I budget and save monthly to be able to afford the cost of Tinys aging care. I’ve done incredibly well the last three years, he’s never missed an appointment or a medication refill. His overall cost of care is about $550 a month. I am an in-home hospice, rehabilitation, and basic level care giver . I love what I do with my whole heart and have done it for many years off and on, but I do not make a lot of money doing it. I am also blessed to receive a small monthly stipend as a death benefit, this is what I use mostly to pay my rent and help fund Tinys expenses. After taking out a personal loan for today’s emergency stabilization visit, I have no more money. Not even for next months regular treatments he will have if he comes out of this. I am asking for Financial assistance to help me ease my boys pain, no matter how that looks, the way he has done for me at so many points of my life. I have finally lived in a period of stabilization that is longer than the period of my life that was not stable. I feel like it’s only been these last couple of years that I have been able to give Tiny the life he has always deserved. I am so grateful to have been blessed with the opportunities, blessings, and resources I have been to achieve this beautiful life we now live. I still just don’t have the means that are called for at this immediate point in time.
I know that tiny is an old man, and that letting him die with dignity is just as valid and important as my love for him is. My hope, however, is to be able to run the tests necessary at his normal vet tomorrow to get a solid diagnosis as to why he may be having strokes and seizures, not just knowing that’s what he’s experiencing. If there is a possibility of treatment that is affordable and promising, I would like to explore those. If not however, I understand and am prepared to end his suffering. The end goal is to reflect that of the cost go fund me takes out (.30¢ of each dollar and then a sum of the total.) and also reflect the cost of test, possible x-ray, possible over night vet &, if after all of that results in my hopes, then to pay for the initial cost of treatment so I can budget and plan that out in the coming months. If not, the rest will go to end of life expenses. Cremation, an urn and any end of life mementos that are offered. If there is any remaining, I will donate it to an organization that works with low-income individuals and their pets.
Thank you for reading this far! I have had Tiny for 12 long, beautiful, healing years. I get to look into the eyes of love and adoration multiple times a day, every day. I know commitment and dedication because of my pup. I would never be the lovings, dedicated, mother I am to my beautiful daughter if Tiny had never taught me the lessons in life, love, and unconditional commitment that he has over the years. My daughter calls him her “brother.” He is a part of my identity and family. I’m so blessed to be able to experience such an authentic love so young. Thank you for reading our journey of healing, love, commitment, and family. I am so grateful for any and all help we recieve; financially, emotionally, and spiritually. please continue to pray for our family as we continue to navigate this most grievous period.
Organizer
Shelby Brown
Organizer
Peoria Heights, IL