"Security is an illusion, but it is a pleasant one." 

The author of these sage words, James Rozoff, may never have experienced the anguish of needing emergency healthcare while uninsured and unemployed - but *this* author, Sarah Veenstra, has. And the stark truth of Mr. Rozoff's quote has struck me to my very core.

Several years ago, while between jobs, with no insurance, I required emergency medical / dental care that was truly not optional, and came at a total price that made my head spin. Thinking I would be able to keep up with bills along with multiple others by way of my freelance writing while looking for work with benefits - and with no choice to not have the procedures done ( an emergency double tooth root canal, crowns and oral surgery) - off I went.

What I would not know until just last year, was that my search for work, both full-time and continuing to freelance, had been quickly and fully  derailed by a debilitating, long-standing battle with narcolepsy, made even worse by sleep apnea, that left me utterly depleted of any energy and thoroughly unable to function on a daily basis. I chalked up the extreme exhaustion to the changes one's body goes through while entering your thirties; it still takes my breath away to this day how accustomed to being unwell a person can become.  Quite simply, every logistical aspect of my life fell apart, for far too long than I had ever been brave enough to admit, and I was drowning in the overwhelming fear and anxiety of not knowing what was wrong with me, how to dig out of what felt like medical quicksand, and that I was destined to feel like a failure for the rest of my days because I could not pull myself up by my bootstraps and simply take care of myself.  

Just over a year ago, the frank diagnosis of narcolepsy and severe sleep apnea finally came, and with effective treatment, I began to put my life back together. I returned to a job with coworkers I loved at a company I loved years ago, and truly expected to build a long and fulfilling career. The bills remained, and I was determined to tackle them. But this past fall and holiday season had other plans. In a truly sudden, random manner, the job I loved was taken away from me. The hope of building security vanished and was replaced with utter despair. The very same day, I learned the medical bills were now a lawsuit, with the ability to swiftly mar any financial progress I had made, and destroy any hope I had to move forward. The legal process I am about to embark on is imminent, and with my lack of employment continuing, and not receiving unemployment funds or severance, I have exhausted every resource I can to retain my attorney, court fees, and possibly settle the suit. 

With the utmost humility, I am asking for your help with these fees. This is the most humbling and, frankly, embarrassing request I have ever made, and a position I never dreamt of finding myself in. Financial stress has unraveled what remains of my ability to stay stable, and is profoundly isolating. My need to get under way with retaining my attorney and addressing the lawsuit is extremely urgent, and my gratitude for your support is boundless. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to listen. With love - Sarah