Save Me From Becoming a Sentient Baked Potato (I need AC)

Hey. It’s me. Your favorite sweaty little freak weirdo.

Why I need your help:

• I’m too hot. Not in the “flirty Instagram story” way. In the “I wake up sweaty and emotionally unstable” way.

• My house has central heat but no A/C, which feels like owning only half a bra.

• I work from home and can’t type emails when my laptop is hotter than my dating life.

• I’m trying to be a responsible adult, but HVAC quotes are basically a down payment on a spaceship.

• Marty and my sleep paralysis demon has started giving me side-eye like I control the sun.

Every dollar gets me closer to cool air and a life where I don’t have to sit in the fridge just to think clearly.

I promise to:

• Send you a thank you video once I can film without glistening like a honey-glazed ham.

• Possibly name the A/C unit after you. Or at least whisper your name gratefully every time it turns on.

Thanks for considering helping me stay cool- literally and figuratively. I love you (platonically, unless you’re hot and emotionally available).

xoxo

Jenn Jenn