Backstory of my amazing parents

If you ask anyone who knows my dad, they will all tell you the same thing: he is the man who would literally give you the shirt off his back. For as long as I can remember, he was the person everyone called when a car wouldn’t start or if the washer stopped working. He could fix anything with his own two hands, and he never said no to a friend or neighbor in need. He was the anchor of my childhood—always present, always active. He was my Little League coach, the dad in the garage teaching me how to use tools, and the person who never sat still. It is heart-wrenching to watch that same man, who spent his life carrying everyone else’s burdens, now struggle to carry his own. Today, the man who was always on the move cannot walk without a cane, and if we are going anywhere that requires more than a few steps, he has to rely on an electric scooter just to get around. Seeing his body take more and more away from him is devastating, especially knowing that despite everything he’s lost, he is still the first person to offer whatever he has left to help someone else.

My mother works tirelessly in a Pre-school ages 3-5, Special needs classroom. This type of classroom is occupied by students who are on the Autism spectrum, or neurodivergent in some way. She devotes all of her energy into helping the people around her, she is so passionate about even the tiniest improvements she sees in her students. It takes someone with extreme patience, empathy, and a deep understanding of neurodiversity to work in this type of role. She gives so much to her students, and sacrifices a lot of her mental and physical health to support them, and yet she still comes home ready to help my father with any assistance he needs given his medical battle.

An Update on My Dad’s Health: Why He Needs Our Support

As many of you know, my dad has been fighting pain, back issues, and random complications/symptoms of an unknown disease since he was about 20 years old. We now know that Ankylosing Spondylitis or (A.S.) is the root cause of most of his medical issues. It is an aggressive inflammatory autoimmune disease that hardens his soft tissues and ligaments, fuses bones together and causes a plethora of muscular-skeletal issues. It causes the "widespread inflammation" and the extreme stiffness that makes every movement a massive physical effort. A.S. mostly attacks the spine, fusing things together and turning healthy soft tissues and ligaments into calcified bone-like forms. After 30 or so years of fighting, his body has reached a breaking point.

His latest scans show that the damage in his neck (cervical spine) has become critical. He has severe spinal canal stenosis, which means his spinal cord is being crushed and deformed at the C4-5 level. The doctors found evidence of myelomalacia—actual softening and permanent scarring of the spinal cord. This is why my Dad has been losing his balance, falling, and struggling with "clumsy hands." To save him from the very real risk of paralysis, his surgeon suggests he undergo a major surgery (an ACDF fusion) to stabilize his neck and take the pressure off his cord. We are currently seeking 2nd opinions on this given the risks involved with this type of surgery.

The situation in his right arm is just as heartbreaking. His MRI shows a high-grade tear of his shoulder tendon—75% of it is gone—leaving his shoulder unstable and in constant pain. On top of that, he has a "double crush" of his nerves: severe cubital tunnel at the elbow and carpal tunnel at the wrist. This combination causes constant numbness and a "lightning bolt" electrical pain that radiates down to his fingertips. Between the specialized biologic infusions like Cosentyx, the high-dose pain medications, and the mounting surgical costs, the financial burden has become impossible for him to carry alone. Dad has spent his life trying to be the strong one, the breadwinner, and the guy who could fix anything, but he is now facing a future where he could lose his mobility entirely. After the surgery, my father will also need a partial or total shoulder replacement, as well as carpal tunnel surgery. There is no cure for A.S., and management and treatment are grueling and costly.

The Financial Burden of a Chronic Illness & Disability Approval

The physical devastation of Dad’s condition has unfortunately triggered a severe financial crisis for our family. Because his Ankylosing Spondylitis progressed so aggressively, he was forced to leave his job in December 2023. The pain he was in, mixed with the side effects of all the medications he was on, prevented him from being as productive an employee as the average person. Even though my father asked for accommodations due to his medical situation, the company he worked for did not help. We honestly thought we had a case of employment discrimination and thought of taking his former employer to court. After finding out we would have to pay for a lawyer out of pocket prior to a settlement being made, we threw that idea out the window. My parents were struggling then to stay afloat, but they were not prepared for what was to come.

What followed was a grueling, year-long battle with the Social Security Administration just to get his disability and SSDI benefits approved—a period during which my family had to survive without his income. My mom has worked tirelessly as a school paraprofessional, working in a special needs classroom, to keep us afloat, but on her modest salary, it has been impossible to cover both the high costs of Dad’s specialized treatments and our mortgage.

For several months, my parents have been locked in a heartbreaking legal battle with their mortgage company. Despite their best efforts to be responsible, the mortgage company has refused to accept any partial payments, demanding nothing less than the total lump sum of the past-due amount, which was growing every day. The company has callously denied every request for a payment plan, refinancing or a loan modification, offering no path forward for a family clearly in distress. Even in court, the judge expressed deep sympathy for my parents’ plight, appearing visibly moved by their situation; however, the law does not technically mandate that a mortgage company provide assistance. Now, the clock is officially running out and this is our final hope. My parents have been given a final deadline of February 21st, 2026, to pay a lump sum of $41,000.

Adding to the weight of this struggle, my sister is also living in the home; she is a single mother who recently went through a tough divorce, and she and her son have nowhere else to go. My poor nephew has already moved three times in his lifetime, and the instability of his life is already taking a psychological toll on him. This house is not just a building; it is the only safety net for three generations of our family—a disabled father, a hardworking mother, my sister, and my 5-year-old nephew.

We have done everything possible to cut costs, lowering our insurance premiums, canceling cable, and signing up for government benefits (all of which we somehow don't qualify for). Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, the "reinstatement amount" demanded by the mortgage company remains out of reach. We are now at a terrifying crossroads where our home is at risk of foreclosure, simply because a medical disability, and our governments awfully slow disability approval process, outpaced our ability to pay for the home. If we cannot raise the money by that date, we will lose the home. Please consider helping my family through this extremely difficult time. Anything you can afford to give is helpful, and if you cannot afford to give, sharing this story with others is just as helpful! We appreciate each and every one of you.

I also want to mention that this was not my parents idea, I had to convince them to let me do this as they feel ashamed, and embarrassed that they were not able to pull themselves out of this situation alone. I just couldn't stand there and watch them struggle. It is okay to ask for help and lean on others for support especially when you have been the one others have leaned on so many times before. There is strength in numbers!

Thank you very much for taking the time to read this. May you have a happy holiday season, and a happy New Year!

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Sincerely, Haley G. (Daughter)

Evidence below is submitted for authenticity. Personal Identifying information is greyed out for safety reasons.

Proof of Disability

Judgment of Foreclosure

Past Due Amount on Mortgage by Feb 21st

Neck Surgery Explanation

Medical Background

Proof of Ankylosing Spondylitis