Honoring Baby Alexander: Help Us Recover from Hospital Bills

Update: A Roller Coaster of Hope and Heartbreak

After Alexander’s birth, we experienced the worst roller coaster ride of our lives. For a while, it looked like we might pull through. His left lung, the most affected by the infection, was finally drained, and it began to recover. He even woke up for a short while, and his color improved. We were filled with hope. But suddenly, everything changed. He stopped urinating, and things took a rapid turn for the worse.

Every day, we visited the hospital multiple times, and every day brought new challenges. Even in the best hospital in Venezuela, they lacked crucial medications. We were forced to hunt for them ourselves, often at great expense. One medication cost $500, and we had to purchase it twice. Another wasn't available in the city, so we had to have it sent from the capital after calling every pharmacy we could find.

This two-week nightmare is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It was a cruel emotional journey—filled with hope, only to be shattered. If there is a God, I question why he would allow us to go through such torment. To give us hope, to make us believe we were going to pull through this, only to crush us in the end—it was the cruelest pain imaginable. I wouldn’t wish this suffering on anyone.

The pain of losing Alexander has been unbearable. As someone who has struggled with severe depressive bipolar disorder, I can honestly say this is the deepest pain I've ever felt. It would have been easier if Alexander had passed early on, but to be given hope, only to have it taken away, was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced.

Maybe we could have done things differently. It’s a thought that haunts me daily. I keep thinking back to when I met the doctor who delivered the baby. He assured us we could keep waiting for a natural delivery, believing the baby was healthy, but he misread the signs. Meanwhile, the placenta was deteriorating, and by the time Alexander was born overdue, he died from meconium aspiration later on. When I had first met him my gut told me something was off about him, despite his impressive credentials—he was famous, had studied in Europe, co-published a paper at Harvard, and had a connection with our family. My partner liked him, and on the surface, despite being a doctor in Venezuela, he seemed just as capable as any American doctor. But I still wonder: what if I had trusted my instincts? This question gnaws at me, replaying every night as I think about what I wish I had done differently.

Then I think about the emergency room pediatrician who maybe if she had acted faster, things could have turned out differently. When Alexander was first examined, the pediatrician downplayed his condition, delaying his admission to the ICU, where he desperately needed to be. I can't help but think that if she had moved quicker—if she had recognized how serious his condition was from the start—his life might have been saved.

I also question whether I should have pushed harder for Alexander to be born in America for better care, even though my partner wanted to stay in Venezuela. Latino families, especially Venezuelans, are incredibly family-oriented. She wanted to be surrounded by her family and friends during this special moment, and I didn’t want to take that away from her. Perhaps Alexander would still be alive if we chose to have him in America.

Even though I know these doctors made critical mistakes, I can’t shake the feeling of responsibility. Alexander had no one but my partner and myself to fight for him, and I trusted the wrong people. I feel like I let Alexander down. Every day, I wrestle with guilt, knowing the decisions were mine to make. Even though others tell me it wasn’t my fault, I’ll always carry that burden. I don’t know how I’ll ever fully move past it quite frankly.

We chose to have Alexander cremated so that he will always be with us. His brothers and sisters will know of him, and his legacy will live on. If our next child is a boy, we will name him Alexander II in his honor. One day, we will take his ashes to Rio de Janeiro, where he was conceived, and free him to the sea.

The worst part about all of this is that before Alexander was admitted to the ICU, I got to meet him. He was breathing heavily and profusely in an incubator but had not yet been placed on a full ventilator, so he was still conscious. Though he seemed distressed, he was aware. I reached out to touch his hand with my finger, and at first, he pulled his hand away. Then I said his name, "Alexander," just as I had whispered many times next to my partner's belly, and in that moment, he recognized my voice. He grabbed my finger and began squeezing it. His eyes locked onto mine, and though he couldn't utter any words, it felt like he was screaming for his daddy to help him. Shortly after, he was admitted to the ICU, and I never got to spend another moment with my son.

If I hadn’t met him and he had just passed in the womb, it would have been painful, but nothing close to what I’m experiencing now. That brief moment when he recognized daddy's voice and grabbed my finger is the first and last memory I will ever have of truly interacting with my son. The brief moment when he recognized daddy's voice and grabbed my finger is the first and last memory I will ever have of truly interacting with my son. It was so special but also so excruciating. In a way, I almost wish I never had that moment because it has made losing him so much harder.

I'm here writing this to ask for help in recovering from these overwhelming medical expenses. As I wrote in my original post, due to the world’s worst inflation, everything of value in Venezuela is incredibly expensive. We were fortunate to be able to keep Alexander in the best private hospital in the city, thanks to the help we received, giving him the best chance of survival. However, we’ve spent over $15,000 on his ICU care at this hospital. As I mentioned before, I’m not currently working, and our plan was to have a normal birth and a healthy Alexander surrounded by my partner’s family in Venezuela, then promptly make our way to America. An extra $15,000 in hospital bills was not something we had planned for. While we will never truly recover from the pain of losing our first and only child, and no amount of money can bring back Alexander, any contribution will help us close this painful chapter and begin the process of healing.

I question why God would give me such a beautiful moment only to leave me in despair and agony a short while later. Please, if nothing else stays with you from this story, hold your loved ones close and always cherish your children. They are more precious than you can ever imagine.

ps: To those of you who have already donated, thank you so much! In the darkest of days you all have showed me there still is some light in this world.

(Original Story Below)

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Our Urgent Plea

My firstborn son, Alexander, is on the verge of dying in Venezuela, and we urgently need your help to keep him alive and get him out of here. I wish I wasn't writing this. I honestly hate to be here on this site. I'm not someone that likes to ask for handouts and I had to be pushed to create this profile... but it at this point it's been a week since Alexander has been born and he's been in the Intensive Care Unit every minute of his short life, as the doctors have been fighting to keep him alive. Below, you can find more information about Alexander’s condition but in short it was unfortunately due to malpractice by our Venezuelan doctor.

Alexander’s Struggle

Alexander’s condition is critical due to malpractice by our doctor. Despite starting to show signs of improvement, medical costs in Venezuela are astronomical due to severe hyperinflation and limited supplies. I am asking for $9,357 to help keep him alive and eventually get him out of Venezuela. In just one week, I have already spent $14,000 (bills attached). What's worse is there is no financial option other than paying cash upfront since due to sanctions my American credit cards are not accepted and there are no payment plans. Friends and family have provided me additional funds but that will not cover more than a couple more days.

Additional funds will allow me to keep Alexander in the best private hospital this city has to offer with the best doctors, rather than underfunded public hospitals that have been neglected due to government corruption. This may sound like a luxury, but unfortunately in this country, it is the only option that gives Alexander a chance at survival.

Anything you can donate would be deeply appreciated and sharing my story with your friends and family would also be very helpful. If you want to learn more about my story, please see below:

Our Story

I met my partner in American but she wanted to have our child in Venezuela to be close to her family. She deals with a lot of anxiety and felt she would be more comfortable around her family rather than a completely new country with 0 friends/family all of whom are in Venezuela. So we decided to have our child in Venezuela and then return to America after.

Initially everything was going well, we both kept very good care of the baby throughout the pregnancy. She is very fit, and exercised and ate well all throughout the pregnancy.

Medical Journey

I made sure she had access to the best healthcare in the area, which if you choose to pay, is not cheap. In Venezuela you either have free failing super low quality healthcare provided by a corrupt government who doesn't care about its people or super expensive healthcare for the rich, there is NO IN BETWEEN in Venezuela. There is NO middle class in Venezuela. Due to the worst inflation ever seen in history, everything of value in Venezuela is incredibly expensive. Low supply, HIGH demand.

We thought we found a really good doctor here. He was famous in Venezuela. While he primarily practices in Venezuela, he had studied in Europe, worked there and is apart of the The European Society of Gynecology . He even co published a paper in Harvard. He spoke great English. Smooth talker, young guy.

Turns out this guy was all hype. Due to the doctor’s negligence, Alexander was born with meconium aspiration after being overdue. Alexander was born at 41 and a half weeks, much later than advised. We wanted to go for a natural birth but we trusted the doctor to guide and tell us when the right time was to give up on a natural birth and have a C section incase it became dangerous for the baby. The doctor failed to use a Doppler to check the blood flow via the umbilical cord something other doctors were shocked to hear and certainly was outside of the standard of care.

When Alexander was born, the cord was green, indicating severe distress and that the cord had gone bad due to the baby being overdue. This negligence led to Alexander inhaling meconium-stained amniotic fluid(fecal matter), causing his current critical condition.

Understanding Meconium Aspiration

Meconium aspiration occurs when a newborn breathes a mixture of meconium (the baby's first feces) and amniotic fluid into the lungs around the time of delivery. This can cause severe respiratory issues, including inflammation and infection, making it extremely difficult for the baby to breathe. This is often caused by extreme stress during pregnancy such when birth is overdue.

My partner began have contractions two days prior to the emergency C section. All the while our doctor told us we were fine, he checked us multiple times, without using a doppler to check the blood flow of the umbilical cord. My baby was trying to come out for two days during this time but could not and my partner was in extreme pain during these final two days of the pregnancy. The doctor would ignore us much of the time though when he would finally respond he kept telling us "we were fine" and that "this is apart of the natural birth process". My baby was in extreme distress and suffering for two days and they told us if we had waited a moment longer he would have been dead in the womb.

Despite being born alive, Alexander’s life hangs by a thread. He showed initial signs of improvement, giving us a glimmer of hope. However, our relief was short-lived when Alexander’s lung collapsed, a serious complication that may require surgery. This setback means we could be in the ICU for an extended period of time from weeks to months, facing significant emotional and financial challenges.

Financial Burden

Due to the worst inflation ever seen in history, everything of value in Venezuela is incredibly expensive. Medical care requires cash payments upfront due to sanctions preventing the use of American credit cards. Your donation will help keep Alexander in the best hospital, giving him a fighting chance.

This money will help keep my baby in the best hospital here, rather than being forced to move him to a public hospital. Your donation will help give Alexander a fighting chance. This wasn't his fault he was born perfect as my partner was extremely healthy during the pregnancy and this is all the fault of a stupid doctor. Please help me get him out of this situation and help me get him out of Venezuela.

To be clear this won't cover all of my expenses, but if I can get help for at least a portion of the costs, I can afford to keep him there. My plan was to have my son in Venezuela where my partner felt comfortable and then return back to America so I'm not working at the moment and currently running through my savings.

How You Can Help

This is not what I planned at all. I'm still in an extreme moment of shock, despair and confusion that this happened to me. It's really hard for me to even write all this and I'd imagine it's all coming out so convoluted but it's the best I can do at the moment.

Any amount you can donate will be deeply appreciated. Sharing our story with your friends and family would also be incredibly helpful. This money will not cover all expenses, but it will give us a fighting chance economically thus giving Alexander a fighting chance to survive the errors of a Venezuelan doctor and eventually move to America for better care.

Thank You.

Please help my son survive Venezuela.