Sarah’s Children need your support

Updated on 18th December 2021…

It breaks my heart to say our beautiful Mum passed away on the 5th of December after deteriorating in hospital with multi organ failure.   

The monies raised will now go towards laying Mum to rest and helping support and care for Mum’s three youngest children going forward.

We are all so grateful for everyone’s kindness  and generosity during these last few weeks and the support we’ve received through this extremely difficult time ❤️

Hi, my name is Sophie and I'm one of Sarah's eldest daughters. Our Mum is currently in Critical care in an induced coma receiving treatment for Pneumonia and sepsis since November the 13th. It is an extremely difficult time for all of Sarah's family but mostly for her 3 youngest children ages 9-16. They've rarely spent a night away from Mum and are desperate for her to get better and come home!

This is a very long, personal and difficult story for me to tell as one of Sarah's daughters, especially publicly because the last couple of years have been heartbreaking watching our Mums mental health and recently physical health deteriorate but if it means Mum and the children finally get the support we've all been crying out for, it will be worth every minute.

Going back a few years Mum was always full of life, always wanted to be surrounded by her family and friends and loved nothing more than a spotless clean house and dancing around to music with her children and grandchildren.

She's always been the best mum to all 7 of us and will always put her children before anything.

A few years ago when Mum was approaching her 50's she started to suffer quite badly with her mental health which I believe was initially a lot to do with the menopause and also a breakup that had not long taken place.

Mum had reached out to the Dr countless times for help and they prescribed her medication to help with her anxiety. Mum would have good days and bad days until she got to a point she couldn't see the light out of the tunnel and was desperate for professional help as we all were! It was so heartbreaking seeing mum like that and not knowing what we could do to help her to overcome the fearful mindset she was stuck in. We booked a lovely family holiday and enjoyed some much needed time away to focus on spending time together in the sun. Although Mum was very worried to leave her comfort zone she done so well and her and the kids had the best time with us all. Things were a little up and down after that and mum received regular support from the mental health team to see how she was coping herself and with the kids and I do believe the visits helped a little and gave mum the reassurance she needed. Mum struggled to do day to day things like shopping and the school runs but was always proud of herself when she pushed herself to continue with daily tasks with a lot of help from my older sister. During the recent lockdowns when we didn't see each other for a few months we knew it would be a tough time for Mum not having the professional support she had been receiving but we made sure we checked in regularly with calls and messages and she told us all she was doing ok but the truth is she really wasn't doing ok, things had got so much worse to the point we didn't recognise our mum anymore and were starting to become concerned about the children too. Mum had been in contact with the Dr's a couple of times during lockdowns but of course they weren't able to see her as it was all telephone appointments so they didn't see how bad she had become and just increased her medication and prescribed some new medication that we believe was the cause of the big change in Mum...we done some research of our own and it seems the new medication she was prescribed switches off part of her brain so she doesn't feel as anxious. To me and my older siblings that was a big cause for concern for Mum to be given this kind of medication when caring for 3 children on her own with no face to face contact or support from professionals to see how's she was coping. The reality was she wasn't coping at all, she had lost motivation to do anything, to cook, to clean, to go out of the house, to speak to family and friends...it's like everything stopped and she lost all emotions. We often brought up our concerns very carefully to Mum and offered our help and had reached out to various professionals explaining how she was struggling but nothing came of it. Us older girls went to Mums house with a load of cleaning products to give it a deep clean as we felt it became too overwhelming for her to try and keep on top of. She was extremely ashamed to have us there cleaning because she's always been so house proud but we made it very clear we just wanted to help, for her, for the younger kids and because we wanted our mum back and I wanted to be able to take my baby round to see her Nanny. We were feeling more positive after having done a deep clean that mum would try and continue with daily tasks etc and we popped round every now and again until it got to a point she wouldn't let us in anymore. Out of her control she became so much worse, the house became so much worse and we were all even more concerned and didn't know where to turn. Myself and my 3 older siblings spoke a lot in a group message we created called 'Bring Mum back' and shared thoughts and ideas with each other on next steps we can take and one idea that always came up was a rehab for prescription medication to professionally wean her off the medication that we knew had been doing her more harm than good. Another option for Mums road to recovery that really stood out to me is The Linden Method Anxiety Recovery Retreat...I've read amazing reviews and they really understand the science behind anxiety and the brain. The difficult thing is how we were going to afford these alternative treatment/therapies for Mum. Not only does Mum need a lot of help with overcoming her anxiety but also we need to put the house right for Mum and the kids ready for when she makes a recovery and comes home because I know she will recover and she will come home...we've been waiting so long to get our Mum back and we're not giving up! Most people that know Mum wouldn't have been aware of how serious things had become because Mum wouldn't want to be judged, she wouldn't want anyone to think she's a bad Mum...she's the best Mum, we know it but in her mind she was failing as a Mother. My 16 year old brother said to me a few days ago "None of this is Mum's fault, she's not very well and we need to get her better". More than anything we all want to get her better!

The above explains a lot about Mums recent mental health and now I'll explain a little about her physical health.

It became apparent that Mum wasn't looking after herself properly which of course then led to weakened immune system and I'm also very aware that mental health can also lead to poor physical health too.

The week leading up to my sisters wedding Mum became unwell with what she described as a cold/flu with blocked sinus symptoms and feeling achey. She still came to Stafford for the couple of days to celebrate her daughters wedding, she wouldn't have missed it for the world! It was clear she was struggling as the day went on and especially found it hard having photos taken outside in the cold. I took Mum inside and gave her some water and paracetamol and she managed a few more hours until she headed back to the wedding cottage to snuggle in bed with my youngest sister. I checked in when I got back to the cottage and she was in good spirits, cosy and warm and I made her a snack in bed. The next day was much the same, feeling achey, cold like symptoms but still ok to join us all for the wedding breakfast. The few days after the wedding when we all went back to work we called mum daily to check in and she said she was still feeling unwell and tried to contact the Dr but couldn't get through so we asked if she wanted us to take her to the hospital and she said she doesn't feel she needs to go to hospital. My sister then checked in on her on the Saturday morning and she wasn't in a good way at all.

She was very delirious, couldn't walk unaided and a couple of other symptoms she wouldn't appreciate me sharing publicly. My sister scooped her up and said we need to get you to the hospital right away. When she was at the hospital it was very clear how petrified she was to be on her own but none of us were allowed to stay with her.

After a few blood tests etc Mum was being treated for pneumonia, sepsis and was wearing an oxygen tight mask as her oxygen was dangerously low. The Dr also informed us they'd done a covid swab which came back positive and there'd be no physical contact between us and Mum which felt like torture in itself because we knew how scared Mum would be. My sister and I took a walk to the hospital Saturday evening and asked to see Mum to reassure her that everything will be ok. They allowed one of us in so I went in and told mum everything will be ok, they're going to make her feel better and we're all here with her, checking in regularly with Dr's and nurses. She told me her phone battery had gone and she didn't have a charger with her so I dropped one to the hospital the following morning with a note asking the nurses if they could charge mums phone, place it in her hand so she could read messages and answer our calls if she was able to so she didn't feel so alone. I spent the whole day Sunday trying to call Mum's phone which went to voicemail every time so instead I left a message she could read when turned on.

I received a call from the Dr at 5 am Monday 15th November informing me that Mum had been really struggling overnight so they made the decision to put Mum into an induced coma, on a ventilator and continue the treatment she had already been receiving. We had some very painful conversations with the consultants and nurses telling us how critically unwell she is and how things are very uncertain...we felt numb and completely helpless!

Almost two weeks on and Mum has been showing some slight signs of improvements which is the bit of positivity we all need to hold onto because we know she can and she will fight her way through this and come home to the kids really soon.

We all really appreciate everyones love and support during this extremely difficult time and we can't wait for Mum to see just how special she is to so many xx

The reason we decided to reach out for support to try and raise money for Mum and the kids is because we've had to get rid of most furniture and furnishings, clothes, carpets etc in Mums house and need to start again from scratch to make it a safe home again for Mum and the 3 children. We're also very aware that we'll most likely be spending Christmas without Mum this year while she continues to recover in hospital and we want to try and make it as special as we can for the little ones given the current circumstances...they deserve it more than ever.

As mentioned before we'd like to try alternative treatments for Mum when she recovers physically and offer her as much support as we can going forward.

We'd like to thank you in advance for continued support and we'll all continue praying Mum will be home where she belongs very soon. In the meantime we're taking this time to give the youngest children plenty of love and support as we look after them all and also making mums house feel like home again.

All our love, Sophie, Siblings and Family xxxxxxx