On Monday March 21st at 11:52 pm my beloved mother, Sandi Gonzalez, passed away. She was at peace in her final moments and had a smile on her face.

For anyone who knew my mom, she loved to have fun, especially if it involved good food and good music. We would love to have a celebration of her life that reflects how much she meant to everyone that knew her.

But in order to do that, we’re going to need a bit help from our friends and family to pull together the resources for a memorial. I had no idea how much this stuff costs. Also, the reality for married retirees is that once your partner passes, your partners social security benefits are stopped, which means my father’s income has suddenly dropped by 50%. So any money left over will go toward making sure he can manage this new chapter as best as possible.

I know that a lot of people didn’t know she was sick, so I’ve detailed the series of events below:

On Feb 7th I took my mom to the ER because the headache she had been complaining about had gotten so bad that she couldn’t take it anymore. After multiple scans and tests we got the most horrible news - stage 4 lung cancer which had spread to her brain causing over 8 brain tumors. The swelling from the tumors was causing the debilitating headache. We subsequently had a consultation with an oncologist who immediately got her started on brain radiation to alleviate the symptoms and the plan was to complete 15 radiation treatments and then chemo. Unfortunately the radiation was too much for her…

On March 1st she entered the ICU because the radiation treatment had made her so weak that she couldn’t walk. For the next 10 days we weren’t allowed to visit her (because of Covid restrictions at the hospital) and were only being kept informed by daily calls to her doctor. By the time we were allowed to visit she was barely able to speak and the hospital was suggesting hospice. My mom still wanted to try and work with a physical therapist to get a little stronger with a goal of leaving the hospital but by March 17th it was clear that she needed to be moved into hospice care. In her final days, my brother, dad and I sat with her as much as we could while she transitioned.

Anything helps. Thank you for reading…