Hey everyone,

My name is Samsara,

Some of you may know me, but you may not know my story so far.

I want to tell you all, a bit about who I am, and why I have reached a point where I must ask for help with Gender Affirmative (Life Affirming) surgery.

I am a proud Dayak Tomun trans-woman.

We are the indigenous people to the island of Borneo, our land is currently occupied and actively being deforested by plantation companies.

My tribe is the Tomun tribe, we are from the heart of Borneo (Kinipan). My family has been, and is currently fighting for land rights, and acknowledgement of our existence.

We are currently not allowed to farm, or live on our land. It is a war zone.

I moved to so called "Australia" on Dharug Land as a young child with both of my parents.

Ever since I can remember, I have always felt different and didn't know where to fit in. I realised I was suffering from Gender Dysphoria at around age 13, although I was restricted by the lack of acceptance in my personal life. I had personally, fully accepted my identity by age 16, dropped out of school, and at the same time, I found the Ballroom Australia/NZ community. The community allowed me to realise, that I can exist, I'm allowed to exist, and I do have a chance at having a future.

Shout out to Bhenji Ra, for that.

Being indigenous, being othered for my heritage in both Indonesia, and of course so called "Australia", and on top of that being a visibly trans-woman, all that I have ever known is systematic oppression and generational trauma.

For the past two years I have not only taken a break from the ballroom scene, but public life entirely. This is mostly due to what I now know as lifelong medical conditions, that have caused me to be in and out of hospital.

This has also severely impacted my abilities to find work, and be able to work. After years of trying, my mental health has deteriorated tremendously due to the crippling levels of gender dysphoria I am currently experiencing.

I am proud to say though, that physically I am in a much better state than 2 years ago, and aside from the immobilising gender dysphoria that only seems to worsen with age, my mental health is in a much more stable and positive place.

I have made an enormous achievement and am finally sober from the addictions I have had ever since I was a young child.

Although, I am still not comfortable leaving the house even for simple tasks, and looking in the mirror is currently not an option.

Having the funds to survive, is already a daily struggle I am dealing with, and the idea of gender affirmation surgery, seems as if it is a pipe dream. After years of trying to save, not getting one step closer in all that time, has made me realise it will never be possible unless I swallow my pride and finally reach out for help.

Reaching out for help, is my absolute final last resort.

I need to be able to see the woman that I am looking back at me in the mirror. I need to be able to step into the safety and security of expressing myself as my true identity.

The dysphoria I feel, is directed linked to being forced to go through a male puberty, were it not for that, I would not feel these crippling feelings.

Therefore, I know I can be free and be relieved through gender affirmative surgery.

It would truly save my life. I understand all trans people experience gender dysphoria differently, but this is my story, and my experience.

For now, I am asking for financial support/aid with 1 surgery that is causing me the most distress. This surgery is the most urgent for me to alleviate the crippling state of the dysphoria I am currently in. I know that this surgery will give me hope for the future, and to keep going.

I am asking for 25,000AUD. The surgery itself is 24,000 and 1,000 to cover accommodation whilst I recover.

This is even closer to home for me, as after I get this surgery it will mean I can finally safety travel to my land and reconnect with my family. Passing is of the utmost importance to me, so that I will not be persecuted on my homeland.

This will most importantly change my life, by allowing me to finally feel confident and comfortable in my identity. Mental matched with my physical.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story.

Thank you for allowing me to tell my story.

I kindly ask you support me in any way that you can. Anything will help. I appreciate every one of you so much. You all make this world a better place.

Thank you for allowing me to be free

Samsara <3