I've had bad flare ups since then, but nothing compared to what I am experiencing now: Constant pain and cramps, excessive bleeding, hot flashes. I can barely walk on my own and am prone to falling (either out of bed or down the stairs), necessitating the use of a cane and a walker a benefactor was kind enough to provide. I can obviously not work, as I can't walk across the room without said cane or walker, and I cannot navigate a flight of stairs without someone assisting me, lest I take yet another life-threatening tumble down the stairs.
I am now on THIRTEEN different medications, compared to the zero I was taking before. Included in that list is Lupron, a chemotherapy re-tasked to balance my hormones so I can have some measure of relief. Unfortunately, despite its $6,000.00 price tag per dose (one dose every 3 months for 6 months, which I also can't pay), it's not working, and has only made my symptoms progressively worse in the month since I have taken it; in addition, it has had horrific side effects that are debilitating, to say the least In short, I am no closer to going back to work than I was when they put me on an unpaid leave of absence back in February.
This particular flare up began in August of last year, and escalated to new heights of pain and suffering in January, after which I began to go rapidly downhill. By February I was too sick to work anymore, and have since been on unpaid leave, as I said previously. I have been using my tax refund to live on since then, but that is going to run out in a matter of weeks.
Add to this that my condition has given me crippling depression and anxiety so bad that I have near constant panic attacks, but most of that is the knowledge that without some kind of help, I will be homeless by the end of May, the fact that I have had months of Doctor's appointments with no answers, am no closer to a solution than when I started, and that can't be helping my mood. Now the doctors think that endometrial tissue may be growing in my other organs (like my bladder and surrounding organs and tissues, necessitating a trip to the Urologist), and you begin to understand what I am going through.
During this time, I have been seeing specialists in Gynecology and now Urology, and now, with the failure of the Lupron, they are talking about a second laparoscopic surgery, which will likely only be a temporary fix as well. I may be condemned to a lifetime of surgeries, and even a hysterectomy won't give me complete relief, thanks to the endometriosis.
I cannot afford my bills any longer. I cannot afford a surgery I absolutely need in order to survive free of agonizing pain, at least for a time, which at least is something, at least in the short term. I cannot afford rent, or food, or even a roll of toilet paper right now. In short, without some serious help, I am absolutely fucked. I can't even go home anymore, because my parents are fostering children and have no room for me, and they can't help me financially, so I am completely on my own in this.
Between the pain and the anxiety, I don't sleep most nights. The panic attacks are nearly constant, but there is nothing I can do, and my anxiety medicine is not up to the task of dealing with panic on this level. I am even depending on a friend to help me write this, because without his help, I will literally burst into tears and curl up into a ball in bed and try to hide until they kick me out of this place for failure to pay the rent.
Oh, and did I mention that due to the panic and the over 60 pounds that my condition has caused me to lose, I am borderline tachycardic? I wear a pulse monitor at all times, and sometimes it drops as low as a dangerous 38 to 40 beats per minute, but most of the time it spikes to around an even more dangerous 135 to 140bpm. I don't know how I'm even alive right now.
Amidst all this, I lost my fiancee of almost 8 years, I’m just trying to make my way in this crazy world.
I bring this up to explain that around the time I took the Lupron, I suffered a chemically-induced miscarriage, so yeah. There's that, too. As if I weren't going through enough already.
To put it short, I am an absolute mess, emotionally, physically, and financially. Right now, what I need is financial help. Immediate financial help to get me through until I can qualify for a substantial money payment from my employer in mid to late July or early August, which will ease my way for a time, until then, I need money for rent, money for bills, money for food, and money for driving lessons, so I can stop relying on one of my housemates for rides everywhere and we can get around on our own with the used car he has so graciously promised to us once one of us has our licenses. Then there's money for medical bills, which are sure to grow into the five if not six figure range. But for right now, if I can even just get a few thousand dollars to get us by in the short term, that will give us time to figure out the rest of this godawful mess.
Please help. Even a $5 donation would be appreciated, but if you can afford more, please help as much as you can. Thank you so much for reading to the end, and thanks in advance for your support. We love you all! And again, if you can't help financially, please do everything you can to spread the word. We need help or we are doomed, plain and simple.
-Sadie "Kaylee" Dunn
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