- S
- M
Hey all.
I’m not really one to do this, especially with something I try to keep fairly private...but going against what’s natural to me, I’m reaching out anyway.
My surgeon’s office called me a few weeks ago letting me know they only have one date open for the next year to book me for top surgery.
If you’re close to me, you know that the dysphoria I suffer from has been killing me. Mentally, that is. Physically, it’s tough to breath. Binding every day for anywhere from 12 to 17 hours is taking its toll on me. Long ago, it became painful to draw deep breaths. It has also given me significant pain in my chest, back, and shoulders.
I don’t wear light coloured shirts anymore because see through shirts give me anxiety. I don’t feel comfortable with my binder, and the way I feel without it is even worse.
I’m constantly battling with what to do. Get this surgery and be financially unstable, or keep hanging in there. Truth is, hanging in there hasn’t felt like much of an option lately.
So I booked the surgery. September 17th. It’s coming up. Almost like an early birthday present. I’ll finally feel free. That is, until I start thinking about how something like this is really costly. Even with my insurance, this is going to cost me thousands of dollars. I’ve been saving, but I’m financially responsible for a lot. And those responsibilities are still going to be there. I’ll have to take time off of work and close down the coffee truck for a bit to recover. Leaving me without any income. I know I can make it work, I always do, but I’d really love to be able to go into this with the funds to give me comfort during my recovery. I’m mostly scared that if I start running low on money, I’ll go back to work sooner than I’m supposed to. I’d really like to eradicate this pain from my life, but I might need a little help. I’m putting this out there in case anyone is in a position to help a little. This is a big deal for me...I’d really like to move on from this chapter in life. I’d like to take all of the energy I’ve been using to get through each dysphoric day, and put it into something else.
Anyway, I’m happy I booked the date. Even if it’s a huge source of stress for me, I know that means this will finally come to an end soon.
Thanks for reading!
-Rylan
I’m not really one to do this, especially with something I try to keep fairly private...but going against what’s natural to me, I’m reaching out anyway.
My surgeon’s office called me a few weeks ago letting me know they only have one date open for the next year to book me for top surgery.
If you’re close to me, you know that the dysphoria I suffer from has been killing me. Mentally, that is. Physically, it’s tough to breath. Binding every day for anywhere from 12 to 17 hours is taking its toll on me. Long ago, it became painful to draw deep breaths. It has also given me significant pain in my chest, back, and shoulders.
I don’t wear light coloured shirts anymore because see through shirts give me anxiety. I don’t feel comfortable with my binder, and the way I feel without it is even worse.
I’m constantly battling with what to do. Get this surgery and be financially unstable, or keep hanging in there. Truth is, hanging in there hasn’t felt like much of an option lately.
So I booked the surgery. September 17th. It’s coming up. Almost like an early birthday present. I’ll finally feel free. That is, until I start thinking about how something like this is really costly. Even with my insurance, this is going to cost me thousands of dollars. I’ve been saving, but I’m financially responsible for a lot. And those responsibilities are still going to be there. I’ll have to take time off of work and close down the coffee truck for a bit to recover. Leaving me without any income. I know I can make it work, I always do, but I’d really love to be able to go into this with the funds to give me comfort during my recovery. I’m mostly scared that if I start running low on money, I’ll go back to work sooner than I’m supposed to. I’d really like to eradicate this pain from my life, but I might need a little help. I’m putting this out there in case anyone is in a position to help a little. This is a big deal for me...I’d really like to move on from this chapter in life. I’d like to take all of the energy I’ve been using to get through each dysphoric day, and put it into something else.
Anyway, I’m happy I booked the date. Even if it’s a huge source of stress for me, I know that means this will finally come to an end soon.
Thanks for reading!
-Rylan