Relief During Recovery

I have always tried to be transparent about my husband’s struggle with substance abuse and our life together dealing with all that comes with it. This is a time where I would prefer to stay silent and isolate myself further but I know that would do no good. Not only would I be acting out of shame by staying quiet, but I would be putting my pride above my children’s better interest.

My husband leaves for treatment tomorrow for the next three months. Right now, I am unable to grieve the loss of his presence in our house and our son’s 1st birthday he won’t be around for. I’m not focused on a Christmas without him, spending my birthday alone, and the way our children will grow into different tiny humans each week he is gone. I don’t have time to be angry. I don’t have time to sit in my sadness. I’m not thinking about the state of my marriage. If I think too long about what lies ahead, I won’t be able to deal with the more pressing issue I am facing.

I have been a stay at home mom since I was pregnant with my daughter, Farielle (2). Most of you know that soon after she was born, we had our son, Reign (11 months). Chance is and has been the sole provider for our family ever since we became one.

I had planned on keeping this to myself until after I graduated, but I am supposed to finish 4 online pre-reqs this upcoming semester and apply for nursing school in the fall. Reign is unable to go to daycare until then, but I wanted (and still deeply want) to get my degree and be able to stand on my own two feet. I never want to be in the position I am in right now ever again.

Without my husband’s income for the foreseeable future, I know that I am not able to keep my kids and I above water on my own.

Is this embarrassing? It’s maybe the most humbling experience I have gone through to date.

If you are able to help my family during this incredibly trying time in anyway, I will be eternally grateful. If not, please just keep us in your prayers. We could use all the prayers we can get.

I’d like to extend my most heartfelt thanks to whoever sponsored my husband’s stay at Home of Grace. If you’re out there and you see this, thank you for giving my children the chance to grow up with their dad. I will never be able to repay you.

Sara Fisher