Ealing half Marathon in the name of my younger brother

Hello my name is Luiza thank you for visiting my page. I have decided to run the Ealing Half Marathon with my good friend Fia in honour of my amazing brother Patryk who passed away on the 27th June in the most heartbreaking and surreal circumstance imaginable. I received the worst phone call I have ever received when I was told a body had been found with my brothers, Patryks ID. I was in complete shock and was adamant this was some sort of mistake. To get further confirmation it was my brother who was found, I sent a photo of us both and unfortunately, as they had originally concluded, it was my brother Patryk.

There are no words to explain how I feel and have felt since my brother passed away; it’s a pain I believe no one could truly understand and I really believe time will never heal the loss of my brother. The bond we had growing up was so special and something I will now hold onto forever.. I will never be able to get my head around, how in a few seconds on a telephone call, my life changed forever and my brother was no longer here with us. My brother Patryk was just 24 years of age when he died by suicide only a week after his birthday. For 2 weeks after his passing, I slept in his room waiting and praying for him to come back. Even now, whilst I write this with tears, I still struggle too accept this.. the only way it can really be described, is surreal. I feel like I am living in a nightmare. He is on my mind, day and night; he consumes all my thoughts, I long for him to be back with us.

My brother battled long and hard with his mental health for over 3 years and was diagnosed in this time with paranoid schizophrenia. He is my hero and my inspiration, words cannot describe how proud I am for him battling for such a long time. I often think about how brave and strong he really was, as I know for sure, I could not walk a day in his shoes, let alone the years he did. He fought a tough battle and unfortunately never got the correct medical assistance or attention. I have memories of us laughing, playing cards, talking and still despite all these lovely memories, I could still see the pain he masked so well in his eyes. Patryk always had the sweetest soul and had not one bad bone in his body. Not only did he care for his family, he cared deeply for the world around him. Worldwide issues, like war and poverty, weighed heavy on his heart and he often spoke about his urge to make the world a better place. I recall, one of my favourite and last conversations with my brother; him stating, one day he would love to speak and help people like himself who suffer with mental health. This makes me even more proud of him, despite his suffering.. he was still thinking of others and this is testament to the amazing person my brother was.

Since losing my brother, I have also struggled mentally. I realised though, walking and running has really helped me to keep sane as well as make me feel closer to my brother just by taking in the sky and reminiscing over the amazing brother I have. I know my brother would hate for me to sit around and just cry.. so I know for him I need to focus on something. I have therefore decided to run The Ealing Half Marathon for Papyrus, a charity dedicated to the prevention of young suicide. Suicide is the biggest killer of people aged 35 and under in the UK. I desperately want to do this in my brothers memory and raise as much as possible. If you know me, you know Im definitely not a runner.. but I am going to do this, for my brother and for everyone else who has endured suicide. I have a purpose and I am looking forward to telling everyone about my brother and the incredible person he was.