Amanda needs Bionic Ears!

Many people have asked me how to help when I am asked about the cost of a Cochlear Implant.  My husband and I are proud people and know just how fortunate we are, so this is kind of difficult to do.  But with 3 children who may also one day need this amazing, but expensive technology, it is hard for me to spend so much money on myself, if my kids may need the same thing later.  I am very fortunate and have much more than most and luckily I have amazing insurance to cover much of the cost.

For the most part I do not feel my late deafness has held me back.  If anything it helped shaped the adult I have become, good and bad.  I truly live the life I have envisioned, except for being a nurse.  I am a wife with an amazing husband and 3 children.  I have an amazing and supportive extended family.  My deafness has actually brought so many wonderful friends into my life.  I reached the point long ago to accept my deafness and even embrace it.  My life is good.  My job (I am a rural mail carrier) is not dependent on hearing and I work with some of the hardest working people I have ever met.  I try my best to work as hard as they do.

But I am tired.  It is hard to explain how exhausting lip reading actually is.  It is hard to explain how lip reading is not really my personality, having to control and steer a conversation so I can predict what will be said.  This exhaustion is now affecting many aspects of my family and social life.  My hearing aids are almost no use to me, outside of lip reading.  I am still relatively young and afraid to wait much longer.  The time is now.  My audiologist and CI surgeon can not make it more clear, I am a VERY good candidate for a Cochlear Implant.  They almost seem more excited about this than I am, if that is possible!

I am tired of placing so much on my family and loved ones.  I am tired of being scared when my children play like children do, because what if they get hurt, how do I call 911?  I am tired of others thinking I am not as intelligent as I really am because I have to ask them to repeat themselves or misunderstand a conversation.  I miss music, so very much.  I miss talking in the dark around a campfire with friends.  I miss going to the movies.  I miss not taking chances with jobs because I can not hear and the energy to accomplish that in other ways is beyond what I can muster up anymore.  I miss being able to not feel nervous when talking to my children's doctor, because what if I misunderstand something.  I want to be able to go through a hurricane season here in Florida (yes I know we have lucked out in the last years!) and be able to know what warnings are being issued (I do not know ASL).  I miss going to church and congregating with others.  You see, I don't get much from a sermon, even though most churches try hard to reach me....I've learned to have my own different relationship with Him, so  I feel nothing but thankfullness.....but I do miss the feeling of community that comes from worshiping with others.

I'm scared for the future, when my kids are adults and most likely move away to start their own lives.  I am a very good mother and support them in every way I  can.  I need to be able to pick up the phone and call my kids when I know they need me.  I am scared my husband dies before me, for many emotional reasons, but a practical one is now who will be my "ears"?


I can't promise anything, not an emotional video of me "hearing" for the first time in 15 years.  What I can promise is that I will take this and run with it as far as I can.  That I will show my children that they need not be afraid, that they have options if they also lose their hearing, no matter what they choose.  I can promise I will continue to live every day trying to help others in any way I can.   Maybe after the CI, being able to use a phone, hold a conversation with more than 3 people, being able to follow a conversation with the other person feeling confident I am understanding what is being explained, will be able to enhance that.   Having that extra energy, I just can't imagine. 

The picture I chose was the one of me and my Grandmother, Angeline Kubicek Christopherson.  She is also late deafened.  I've always loved my grandma Angie, but not until I became an adult woman, wife, and mother who had lost her hearing, did I truly appreciate how extraordinary she is.  She did not have access to the technology I do, raised 5 amazing children, one of them  my mother, who is also hearing impaired and that did not stop her.  Grandma Angie was a farm wife, she taught me the value of hard work with the little jobs she would give me on the farm.  She did not seem to allow her hearing loss to stop her from being social.  How she didn't constantly look exhausted is beyond me, but she was always there, cooking, baking, planting, chopping heads off of chickens, and making sure me and my cousins were entertained.  I only wish she had been able to undergo this, as I know how exhausted she must have really been.  Angeline's mother, Mary Agnes Spindler Kubicek also late deafened, had NO access to technology, and raised 6 girls who took care of themelves.  Mary's mother, Aneska Shultznova Spindler, came to this country in the late 1800's from Bohemia (now Czech Republic), not knowing the language, and thrived even after losing her hearing.  I can only imagine what they may have accomplished with the technology that I am so very fortunate to be surrounded by.  


If you live in Florida and are having hearing issues, please stop by and see Joanie Davis at http://www.davisfamilyhearing.com/home.html.  She is just so encouraging and listens to your fears, needs, hopes, and what you feel will work best for you.