In 2023, my life changed forever when I lost my dad after his battle with cancer. Grief has a way of turning everything upside down, and I felt completely unmoored. Somehow, I found my footing again with the love and support of family and friends, especially my best friend, Tania.

But in April 2025, everything shattered again. Tania died suddenly at just 50 years old, and the shock of losing her was overwhelming. This time, alongside the grief came something new, fear. I’m only a few years younger than her, and with my own complex health issues, I couldn’t help but wonder how much time I might have left.

My dad and Tania were two of my biggest supporters. We loved each other deeply and unconditionally. Their absence has left a space that can never truly be filled, not just for me, but for everyone who knew them. My dad left behind a loving family and countless friends. Tania left children, grandchildren, and an entire community who adored her.

I found myself carrying a heavy mix of emotions, grief, anger, hurt, fear, alongside a deep sense of loss. There was a hole in my heart I didn’t know how to begin to heal. And while I was surrounded by people who loved me, they were grieving too. I didn’t want to burden them with the weight I was struggling to carry.

So I reached out to Cruse Bereavement Support.

That decision changed everything. The referral process was simple, and the response came quicker than I expected. I was paired with a volunteer, I'll call her Sue, and we met online every fortnight. Sue gave me something I didn’t realise I desperately needed: a safe space. She listened to my stories, held space for my tears, and gently helped me begin to process everything I was feeling.

Before Sue, I had fallen into a very dark place. I truly don’t know where I’d be without her support.

Now, I want to give something back.

This May, I’m taking on a challenge that feels huge to me. I’ll be rowing the distance from Wrexham to London, 192 miles (308.994 km), on a stationary rowing machine at my local gym (WillBFit in Rhos). I’ll start on the 1st of May and finish on the 31st.

This won’t be easy. Because of my size, weight, and limited mobility in my legs, I’ll be relying almost entirely on my upper body to complete the distance. But this challenge means so much more than the miles, it’s about resilience, remembrance, and gratitude.

I’ll be sharing updates, photos, and videos throughout the journey. If you’re able, I’d be incredibly grateful for your encouragement, and for any donation you feel comfortable making.

Cruse Bereavement Support is there for anyone facing loss. I never imagined I would need them—but when I did, they were there for me.

And now, this is my way of saying thank you.