Rosy's Healing Journey

Help. It’s a short word. Just four letters. And yet it takes so much to ask for it- vulnerability, humility and acceptance, come to my mind. It requires a level of readiness that some will never allow themselves to reach. Some arrive without preparation, almost as a dead-end to their circumstances, leaving many of us to surrender to the reality that we shouldn’t do it alone.

I reached that reality recently. In a moment, I snapped out of a place where my thoughts grew dark. I felt alone and afraid of myself. I realized if I didn’t ask for help, my weary mind and circumstances would easily take over me.

I've been ill since 2015. A mysterious illness afflicted me from 2015-2018 while living in Yuma. Due to the wide range of symptoms, I saw 5 different specialists. They all ran labs, images, and/or other diagnostics, all "normal" despite the fact that with time the symptoms became more consistent and persistent. After two rheumatologists tested me for every rheumatic and autoimmune disease and all came back “normal”, I asked if they could test me for Lyme disease, as it can mimic over 100 diseases/conditions. They both refused. One said it wouldn’t make a difference and that I would have to take anticonvulsant and anti-epileptic medicines the rest of my life to calm the nerve pain. None of which worked. I complied with the medications despite them not helping. I didn’t know what else to do. I grew disillusioned by the medical system and the medical professionals who were supposed to help and do no harm. The doctors who belittled, gaslit, or even laughed at me, wanting to push the next pill on me because I was “stressed.” I was sick. My body was not working and my brain hurt as if my head was on fire.

I waited patiently for our next set of military orders to transfer us out of Yuma. With each month that went by the symptoms became more disruptive. By the end of our time in Yuma, I was unable to lay flat due to shooting nerve pain up my legs and I couldn’t walk without limping in pain. I fell over at Target the last week we lived there. I was unable to stand up due to the intense vertigo that made my whole world spin and made me nauseous. I couldn’t drive for 2 weeks. The ENT doctor also said all my tests were “normal.”

By the grace of God, the USMC transferred us to San Diego, summer of 2018. I immediately sought treatment at an integrative clinic and after extensive lab work, a Naturopathic Doctor diagnosed me with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (2% of tick-borne infections and if left untreated can be deadly). At that point, going on 3 years undiagnosed/untreated, it was chronic and I was very depleted. I immediately began immune support protocols and treatments to treat the infection. In 2019, I was also recommended to a rheumatologist that specializes in Lyme complex diseases. Further labs later confirmed I also had Lyme disease.

Since 2018, I've done several courses of traditional medicine and naturopathic treatments, all of which my body has not responded to. Due to our military moves I’ve either had zero options for treatment or uninterrupted medical care. At one point I was on antibiotics for 3 years straight and even so, I would get a flare-up at least 1-2 times a year. We have spent thousands of dollars out-of-pocket in therapeutic modalities to temporarily alleviate the painful symptoms during the flare ups. Yet, the symptoms have only gotten more intense, concerning and debilitating.

This January, I was hospitalized at Yuma Regional due to neurological symptoms. I'm thankful to God that my brain studies have all been clear but it doesn't negate how the bacterial infection affects tissues, heart and brain. My symptoms manifest as cardiac and neurological. This complex disease has disrupted my life in these past 9 years with little to no stability. It has been very isolating for me. It has disrupted my ability to go back to school, work and even my social life, as the flare-ups come on so abruptly and chaotically. I finally reached a point of defeat and hopelessness. I knew then that something drastic needed to happen.

In my desperation, while hospitalized, I researched clinics that specialize in chronic late stage unresponsive Lyme disease. I found Envita, a clinic in Scottsdale and I am a good candidate for their medical program. Their treatments are integrative and innovative, offering the latest technology in precision lab diagnostics and treatment delivery; None of which are covered by insurance. They estimate, depending on how long the treatment process takes, that it will cost somewhere between $65k-$85k. We pay every Friday and are working with a 3rd party insurance billing company that submits claims to TRICARE on our behalf, but they told us to go into this expecting not to get any reimbursement. That is what has led us to launch a GoFundMe.

On February 7th, I had my initial consultation at Envita and began my onboarding process. I’ve had several labs and had a perma-catheter placed as all of the treatments are infusions. I am currently on a supportive protocol to boost my immune system for another week while we wait on specific labs and the doctor finalizes my treatment plan. I will receive infusion treatments Monday- Friday, between 2-5 hours/day. My cousin lives 20 minutes from Envita and I am so thankful they have opened up their home for me to stay there for the duration of my treatment, which can be anywhere from 8-12 weeks. My labs and progress will dictate that.

Being at Envita for 2 just weeks, I continue to feel confident in their 20+ years of research and expertise in this very niche field of infectious disease. They leave no stone unturned and look deep into the root causes of all disease processes. I feel validated and safe here.

This January I joined my church in a corporate prayer fast. My hope was for healing, a renewed relationship with our Lord and to spend more time in His word. Through the weeks, it was revealed to me that after many years of suffering with this illness, I had arrived at a very lonely place of disbelief for my healing. While I strongly believe and fervently pray for others' healings, I did not believe in healing for myself. In fact, I stopped asking for prayers for myself because my illness wasn't "known enough, visible enough, deadly enough" etc. I even stopped praying to God directly for my own healing. It was a big eye opener for me.

When the prayer fast ended, I was quickly overwhelmed in the peak of the most painful and intense Lyme flare up I had experienced yet. While I did not receive the healing I had hoped and prayed for, I entered a season of growth and maturity of my faith. I am praying with the authority I was given through the Holy Spirit. My time with our Lord has changed. That I cannot deny. I am thankful for this.

If I look back at my whole life, I can see the tight interweaving of trauma, loss, suffering and pain throughout. Life, in all of its “lifing”, has “lifed” hard. I do not know why. I just know who. And my God has never left me. In the even if’s, I stand firm knowing that God doesn’t give trials without first giving Himself. If I look back again, I can trace His steps with mine. Point out the blessings and mercies lovingly placed within all of the tragedies. “In this world, we will have troubles.” But God. I cannot express the importance of never forgetting our detailed timeline with God.

We humbly and kindly ask for your help. Whatever that looks like for you, whatever it is that your heart leads you to do. We thank you. Your prayers above all cover us and lift us up. God provides. He is good.

Love. Also a four letter word. A powerful one. Can turn darkness upside down.

With Love,

Rosy, Anthony, Yhatti and Izzy