I am Rob Barbeau and I have been struggling with severe and persistent mental illness (SPMI) (bipolar II) for all of my adult life. Over the past two years my condition has steadily grown worse. I have been relying on my family and county assistance to pay for food and bills. I am trying to get on Social Security Disability, having applied last year, but it's a broken system that is rife with delays, and denies applications for people like me living with SPMI. I started an appeal after receiving a denial in March, but there is no way of knowing when or if it will be approved. And so here I am asking for help with monthly bills to lighten the load off my family that has already supported me so much.

I trust my doctors very much, and have tried every treatment they have recommended, including regular therapy, many many medications, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), ketamine infusions, and most recently transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS). Currently I am lucky to have 4-8 functional hours a week. Unfortunately in spite of growing acceptance and recognition, mental illness is still heavily stigmatized and systematically ignored. One wouldn't expect someone living with a chronic physical disability to be functional 40 hours a week during a flare-up, but people with SPMI are expected to toughen up, show up, and push down their panic or depression. Living with bipolar depression is not a rollercoaster for me; I don't have high highs, only low lows and so sos. The diagnosis means for me there are a lot of treatments for unipolar depression that won't work or could make things worse. I've found a medication that is very effective at preventing mania, but I'm on my 8th SSRI and two new-to-me adjunct meds all together doing nothing for my depressed mood. My depression presents as chronic fatigue, no appetite, total absence of joy, and daily intrusive suicidal ideation.

My friends and family say that I am intelligent, kind, generous, and passionate. I strive to be always learning, especially around growing and processing food. My garden is my happy place, growing many different fruits, vegetables, and grains. My dream is to live and work in rural Minnesota supporting new and diversifying grain farmers. I am trying very hard to finish my degree in Food Science at the University of Minnesota - Twin Cities, and plan to graduate in Spring 2025.

I would use any donations to ensure my rent is paid, the lights stay on, and my belly is fed. Constantly worrying about my financial stability feeds into a nasty spiral and makes every day harder. Your support will help me focus on my mental and physical health, school work, and general wellbeing.

Thank you,

-Robbie