Most of you may know me, some may not, but here is my story.... I call it the "Curse if 2023"

My name is Sarah Van Camp. I have been a registered nurse for 17 years, but since January 20, 2023, I have been the patient. It is true what they say, nurses are not good patients. We know too much not to be scared, too much to not want to tell our family and friends how serious things are, and too scared to want to believe we are now the one in need. I have dedicated my life to serving others, healing others, supporting others, praying for others shedding tears for others...

Then suddenly and unexpectedly I was now the one deathly ill and in need of that care.

February 2, 2023 I was transferred from Mercy Aurora to Mercy Joplin ICU due to severe sepsis, bilateral pneumonia, 104.7 temperature, low sodium levels which was causing me hallucinate, being paranoid, irratic, irrational, and delusional. Also with this I had extreme and unbearable, debilitating back pain with an unknown primary cause of infection. My MRI that I had the end of January showed an unencapsated infection around my L4-L5 disc space in my lumbar spine, meaning this infection could travel wherever it wanted. I spent 1 week in the hospital, then completed 6 weeks of IV home antibiotics (rocephin) through a PICC (central line). With this, i had weekly blood.draws and dressing changes. My repeat MRI on March 17, 2023, after 6 weeks of antibiotics, showed that my L4-L5 disc space was "completely obliterated"; which required surgery ASAP. My pain was still unbearable. I was unable to sleep, sit, stand, lay, I was constantly trying to get somewhat comfortable. I refused to take anything but toradol (anti-inflammatory) and tylenol for months. I went in for my PICC dressing change and my blood pressure and heart rate were very elevated. I was sent to ER for evaluation, and rated my pain a 4. My husband, AJ said, "she's a 9. She lies about her pain." The physician reviewed my chart, spoke with me and quote said, "Don't sandbag me, I've done this long enough, stop being a nurse and be a patient. Treat your pain. This is how its going to be...." He treated my pain and sent me home with a script until my suegery. Less than a week after meeting with a neurosurgeon, I underwent a laminectomy discectomy and exploration surgery on April 4, 2023. I stayed over night, they removed my drain, and I came home on my 39th birthday. April 5, 2023. Pathology and cultures from the samples taken from surgery showed discitis (an infection in the disc). This meant 6 more weeks of IV home antibiotics with now 2 different antibiotics. (Rocephin and daptomycin) Since I've had surgery, my right foot has been numb, sensitive to touch, and had pins and needles feeling; which still has not gone away. Every step I take is shooting, sharp, stabbing pain in my foot and up my leg. It takes me a couple of hours in the morning to loosen up to be able to do anything productive. Some days I can't do anything. I finished my second round of 6 weeks of IV antibiotics then started my 4 weeks of oral antibiotics. Neurosurgery still had an 8lb lifting, no bending, no twisting restrictions. Approximately 1.5 weeks into my oral antibiotics I did not feel well for approximately 10 hours. I then piked a fever of 102+, felt as if I had been hit by a truck, and beyond fatigued. I went back to Mercy Aurora. My labs did not look well, and my back pain had been increasing over the past week. They transferred me quickly to Mercy Joplin where my infectious disease physician was. Thank God I went in before I got septic again. My MRI showed a moderately sized seroma (fluid filled sac) protruding over my L4-L5 disc space, it all suggested possible osteomyelitis (bone infection in my spine), and recurrent discitis; which I had be previously treated for. The placed me in a LSO brace for support. Not my favorite thing, but I did and do use it. After 7 days at Joplin, I was transferred to Mercy Springfield for a seroma drainage, vertebral bone biopsy and disc biopsy. This was not a comfortable procedure but had to be done to get definitive answers. I spent 2 days in Springfield then finally got to come home June 28, 2023.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting on results is so hard. My mother in law, took my to my infectious disease appointment for results on July 11, 2023, the reports showed NO osteomyelitis, NO recurrent discitis, NO fungal infection, and most importantly NO malignancy. There were so many hugs and tears of happiness. A couple of weeks later Neurosurgery finally lifted my 8lb lifiting restriction, bending and twisting but I am not to do anything to the point of pain. I was also released to FINALLY begin physical therapy. I began this week, and will be going twice a week, plus working at home with AJ. I will not say PT was or will be easy, it was very difficult, and disappointing at the same time. It is beyond hard to look back at where I was physically, mentally, and strength/active prior to this. I have lost SO much mobility, flexibility, and strength. I have gained SO much weight this year. I am embarrassed to go into public hecause of this. I've lost SO much hair due to the shock of everything. I cut it short to try to limit pulling from wearing a pony tail constantly, with hopes of it filling back in.

I had some basic labs drawn last week. I have never had issues with cholesterol. My total cholesterol is borderline and my triglycerides are scary high. As a nurse, I do know a lot of this is from lack of being able to do things, rapid weight gain due to this, poor appetite, etc. Lipitor and krill oil for 1 month then recheck. I am paying this resolves quickly.

For a while I was very concerned, as was AJ with my mental and emotional state not too long ago. I wanted to give up. I cried all day, every day. I was losing my faith. That's when I went to visit my mama. I sat with her for hours, crying, talking, praying... She was there. She held me, stoked my hair like she always did, and told me not to give up, Kadence and AJ need me, and that she would be with me always, and every step of the way. When I left, I had such a different outlook on all. I will survive. I DID SURVIVE. I beat the statistics. I am here. And I will feel like me again.

Importantly, the support of family, friends and church.... I have no words. Thank you for always texting, even if I don't answer, I am reading them.

Debbie Stanley, Dean Gautney (dad), Jan L Van Camp and Joe Van Camp - there is NO way we could get through this without your unwavering love and support. We cannot even being to repay you for your emotional, financial, and loving support.

Kadence, thank you for always loving you mamma, and snuggling with me, and binge watching shows with me. Lol. You're welcome for a few. I love you. Way way more than you will ever know.

AJ, my husband, my rock, I have no words.... You have been more than amazing. I love you.

Not to mention the best neighbors anyone could ask for. They are always there to help, visit and support us.

My AMAZING employer being so patient, caring, and supportive through this. Again, no words but thank you for your love and support.

My long-term disability plan was denied through work due to this being a preexisting condition prior to the start date of the plan. For months, I have had ZERO income, with thousands of dollars in medical bills, plus our normal monthly bills. My husband's vehicle finally gave up and we were forced to get him a reliable car. This was definitely not on our plan or budget. We are using his income to our est ability.

His parents, my dad and step-mother have been carrying our financial burden for almost 10 months. We am asking for assistance for us to be able to pay our bills until I return to work; which I have been out of since mid January. We are asking to release some burden off our family and us. This has taken me months to get over the embarrassment of asking for assistance, and the feeling of selfishness for doing so.

We pray and would be humbled by your support to help us through this more than difficult time.

Thank you for considering. God bless you all.