RV Justice

On the morning of October 10th, 2015, eight young gentlemen of Beta Theta Pi, at Colgate University, embarked on a journey that will be told for generations to come from father to son. Their destination lay a mere 500 miles away in Ann Arbor, Michigan, whereabouts these men would be among friends, football, and millions of beers. The majestic vessel they chartered was no ordinary vehicle, but a 46-foot Recreational Vehicle. A true yacht amongst concrete canoes. Yet, our tale, like all good tales, does not lack adversity. The inexperienced crew weathered the elements as the rain slowed their progress. As the young men bunkered down for a feast at Ronnie Mac's Steakhouse, they were faced with a new roadblock as the battery of the vehicle had subsequently died due to glutenous consumption of generator power. The young men relied on the wisdom and resourcefulness of a gas station attendant to revitalize their immobile vessel. Their journey continued through the dreadful and feared states of Pennslyvania and Ohio. On the outskirts of Cleveland, Captain Frederick Richter, weary from the journey, handed the reigns to a young Robert Yosaitis. Filled with youthful exuberance and the help of the ship's brilliant navigator, Jacob Stonecipher, Robert steered the large vessel into the great state of Michigan. The winds blew in our favor as they approached the tremendous Michigan University. The crew began a precursory celebration as the sun set and the great RV entered Ann Arbor. Yet, as Icarus flew too close to the sun, the crew had underestimated the power of such a majestic vessel. Disaster struck around dusk of October 10th as the vessel entered the harbor (parking lot). A lack of patience and virtue led our inexperienced heroes down a path of chaos. Undercutting a turn and underminding the laws of the RV, the valient yacht made impactful contact down the port side of the RV. Having traveled 500 miles without a scratch, the crew sat devestated as they had wrecked their vessel in the final 10 feet. First Mate Charlie Murphy assesed the damages and smoothed relations with the captain of the destructive, yet immobile truck that had been struck. The crew, beached in a foreign land, set off to explore the glorious land of Ann Arbor and take warmth from the friendly Mid-Western residents. The crew, weary from journey, were greated with open arms into the University of Michigan. They merrily feasted upon the finest meats, paid heed to the valient warriors of sport, and drank all of their sweet mead. Yet, they all knew, Sunday were to be a day of reckoning.
Sunday the crew gathered within the helms of the mighty RV and set sail for home. Just as Odysseus left the battleground of Troy, the gentlemen were leaving a conquered land. Yet, only half of the crew had been so acute as too actually have read Homer's epic poem. The worst was only yet too come. Mutliple battery failures plagued the journey and the damage looked much worse than originally expected. The Recreational Vehicle was returned to the original owner, an Upstate New York local, George, on the night of October 12th. The great Odysseyus once said, “There will be killing till the score is paid.” In this epic story that I tell you now, these words were not spoken by the heroes, but by a disgruntled, middle-aged man whose RV had been severely damaged. Being but humble heros of this tale, the gentlemen of Beta Theta Pi, reach out a beacon of help to the world around us.