Setting up this account may be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do ... going "public" with very personal issues has never been something I have been comfortable with.  That being said, I am 100% out of options ... so here I am.

As most of you already know, I have been struggling with Anorexia Nervosa for over two decades.  Anorexia Nervosa is one of the most misunderstood illnesses and has the highest mortality rate of any other disorder in the mental health field.  

Although I had been doing well for a few years, the eating disorder returned with a vengeance after my near fatal car accident in 2013.  As a result, I needed to quit my job and apply for Disability.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with eating disorder treatment, it is EXTREMELY costly and rarely covered by insurance.  Because I am unable to work full time, the financial situation and insurance options leave me with little to no resources to use for treatment.

Due to my deteriorating health and very low body weight, I no longer qualify for an outpatient level of care.  My therapist needed to terminate treatment for ethical reasons and my body weight is too low for Partial Hospitalization Programs.  With eating disorders, once a person reaches a dangerously low weight, liability becomes an issue and outpatient teams have to cease treatment and suggest a higher level of care (inpatient or residential).  However, even if the required level of care is not an option due to insurance or finances, a person is left with no support what-so-ever.

And that is where I am.  I am told that my body will not survive much longer and I MUST receive care at the inpatient level.  Thankfully, I will qualify for Medicare in July ... but there are still significant out of pocket costs that my family and I simply cannot afford.  Left with little hope and desperate for answers, I have come to the conclusion that I need to swallow my pride and ask for help.  

I have been speaking with The Center for Eating Disorder Care at University Medical Center of Princeton in New Jersey and we believe their program may provide me with the "tools" I need to finally achieve recovery.  

It has been a very long, very dark, very painful road and I desperately want relief/freedom from this prison in which I live.  Anorexia Nervosa is truly a wicked and evil illness and I am unable to escape it's suffocating grip on my own.

At this point, I am told that inpatient treatment is my only hope of survival.  If I cannot meet the financial requirement, the only other "option" is that I enter into "end of life" care (hospice/palliative care).  I am 38 years old and I WANT to LIVE!!  I want to be FREE!  I don't want to continue to tell the story of my wretched life with Anorexia.  I want to tell the story of RECOVERY ... and then help others to do the same.

Because my health is so compromised and my weight is so low, Princeton is requesting that I admit as soon as possible.  They are allowing me to set up a payment plan which would make it possible for me to admit now and pay as the donations are received.  I was given a rough estimate of my initial out of pocket costs, but, unfortunately this could increase depending on the needed length of stay.  The uncertainty feels risky to say the least ... but, as I have been told over and over again ... it's not a choice ... it is a matter life or death.

I realize that everyone in this world is dealing with something ... and my needs are no greater than those of anyone else.  Knowing this makes it incredibly difficult to ask for financial assistance ... but I am not sure what else to do.  If you are able to donate any amount of money to help cover the cost of my inpatient stay at The Center for Eating Disorder Care at University Medical Center of Princeton, my family and I would be ever so INCREDIBLY grateful.  Please do not feel obligated in any way ... this is only a request and I fully realize that many may not be in the financial position to provide assistance.  

Thank you for taking the time to read this ... and I thank you in advance if you are able to contribute.  Please feel free to share this post as you see fit ... and do not hesitate to send me a private message on facebook if you have any questions as I will have access to my computer while in treatment.  My parents will also be helping me handle this account while I am away in order to keep track of funds and make payments to the treatment center.  

My hope is that I will return to Ohio a healthier, happier version of myself and express my sincere gratitude to each of you in person.