Nearly twenty-two years ago, a few months after my fifteenth birthday I delivered a healthy baby girl and a few days later left the hospital with empty arms, a grieving heart and a new title ... birthmother. Placing a child for adoption is often an isolating experience, especially for those of us without a safe or healthy support system. I took my 35mm camera to the hospital, desperate for photos. My caregiver obliged, but later that year when she spotted one tucked into the clear protector of my school notebook, her embarrassment came out as disgust, “It’s bad enough everyone at school saw you pregnant … you don’t have to flaunt it too.” I quickly learned that my grief was an inconvenience and my story was too uncomfortable for anyone else to hear.

I was in my thirties before I ever spoke to another woman who could truly understand and empathize with this part of my life. I'll never forget the feeling of relief to be able to sit in conversation with someone who "got it" and wasn’t afraid to sit in the grief and gratitude with me.

Four years ago I unintentionally became an educator and advocate within the adoption community after sharing a post about being a birthmom, in reunion, went viral. I was shocked to see how many stigmas were still attached to women like me, nearly two decades later. My comment section was overflowing with kindness and dripping with hate but I’m convinced God had prepared me for such a time as this … their sharp words didn’t undo me … they fanned a fire I hadn’t realized was already lit.

This past September I hosted my first retreat focused on life after trauma and the intentional pursuit of hope, healing, and joy. It was rooted in the concept of holistic wellness and building resilience but the biggest request leading up to it was to host one exclusively for birthmothers … I listened. resilient is a retreat grounded in my unflinching belief that grief and gratitude can coexist, hope is worth holding fast to, and resilience isn't a bad word … and this one's just for the birthmoms!

Unfortunately, the full cost of a retreat of this caliber is unaffordable for many birthmothers which is why I'm asking for community support. Donations will help cover:

+ lodging (to house 10-20 guests)

+ guest speakers (to motivate and inspire)

+ event photographer (to capture memories)

+ nourishing meals (holistic wellness is a big part of healing)

+ kitchen help (someone to cook the meals and clean up)

+ supplies (from roasting marshmallows to art journaling and more)

+ gift bags (no cheap throwaways, quality items)

You can read more HERE