Help Save Sparrowhawk: A Home and Memorial in Crisis

For those believing this is a scam::

please see very bottom for response & check out the news coverage::

https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/gulfport-police-pushes-boater-storm-preparation-education

On August 4th, Hurricane Debby tossed my beloved home, Sparrowhawk, onto the beach. Now, I'm racing against time to save her from destruction.

Sparrowhawk isn't just a beautiful racing cruiser—she's been my only home for four years and a living memorial to my late partner, Mark. A courageous veteran who lost his battle with PTSD, Mark's final moments were spent aboard Sparrowhawk as we pursued our sailing dreams together. Now the place he took his last breath & our home sit on display until I finish the grueling tasks needed to get her back in the water.

My grief & healing journey is intertwined with Sparrowhawk. I have poured my heart, along with the thousands of dollars and countless hours, into transforming our boat from a place of tragedy into one of adventure & peace & a living memorial for Mark. I feel him with me at the helm & in the wind in my sails. I feel him in our “Rainbow Room” & with me weeding our little garden. Now, an uncontrollable disaster & threaten my deepest connection to my passed love & a 17 year marine & veteran who deserves to be honored. Now I live in fear over threats of my home & our memories being erased forever.

The storm inflicted severe damage to my home washing it up on shore sideways. She now has a split keel, structural & electrical issues, & saltwater intrusion in the engine. In addition she has severe structural hull damage & the inside, the home we created, is in utter disarray. The boat is not currently livable & will take dedication & funds to preserve. Currently homeless and sleeping in my car & while FEMA is offering ZERO support, I'm struggling to make ends meet while fighting to save not “just a boat”, but a home that is pivotal to who I am today.

The city continues to work with me to allowing me time to get Sparrowhawk back in the water, but the clock is ticking. It's a daunting task, & I REFUSE TO GIVE UP HOPE!

YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS SUPPORT:

*Sparrowhawk represents Resilience, Solidarity, and the Spirit of never giving up!

Please help me save my home and honor a veteran hero who lived, loved, & died here.

Thank you SO MUCH for your support & compassion.

Fair Winds & Following Seas to Us All!

Love, Lindsay

———————————————————

❤️ IN HONOR & REMEMBRANCE OF MARINE STAFF SERGEANT MARK BROKAW.

*trigger warning- mentions suicide*

I have gotten comments and opinions from family & strangers alike making assumptions to my motives for my gofundme & calling me a “fraud”. These people have been vocal yet have made the choice to NOT message me to ask me any questions, from Mark’s death to now. What they have done is force fed me opinions & turned my words against me (while tearing apart Mark’s obituary, not to show respect, but to prove I am a “scammer”) because they find no mention of my name in it.

1st- Shame on all of those people. Your cruelty & disrespect do not go unnoticed & karma will find you. However I will not spend time defending myself to you. I have other more pressing matters at hand. Plus, Mark would want me to stay focused on what is in front of me. And you are not.

2nd- I welcome all inquiries so you can get to know me and my heart & story more. If you don’t have those, know I do not accept ANY comments from ANYONE, from shared blood to zero mutual friends, unless they are rooted in support or kindness. Know anything other than that is harassment & will not be tolerated.

3rd- To these people I would also like to ask::

-Have you ever watched your partner shoot himself in front of you in the same room while you then are stuck in your 34 foot home?

-Have you ever watched your partner’s story be rewritten (the partner you watched suffer through the depths of hell in his own mind, who you held hands with while they went to seek help for the 1st time, the one you watched die in front of you, the one whose soul you felt ascend & whose lifeless cheek you kissed as you felt your brain being rewired by trauma & you disassociated from yourself) after being told “we decided not to include you and Mark’s time in Florida together in his obituary because that’s not how we knew him as a brother, son, or friend?”

-Have you ever been, out of the blue, without a reason or follow up call to date, uninvited to 2 Celebrations of Life for the partner you lived and loved and lost so intimately, forcing you to have your own Celebration of Life ALONE on the home/boat you shared stating everything you had left to say to no one & nothing except the confines of the boat/home you share & the open water?

-Have you been cut off from all worldly ties to your partner & forced to mourn alone in your home while you are placed in this all too common club and sisterhood of partners being blamed for the death of someone’s son/brother/etc because accountability on the deceased is something we seem to struggle with as a society, especially in suicide?

-Have you spent the last 3 years on a journey of healing and self discovery and sobriety in your home while learning the ins and outs and ups and downs simply to keep it afloat & a memorial intact?

-Have you faced legal threats of criminal charges & destruction to your home & final resting place of your partner from both city and statewide officials only AFTER a natural disaster has put your home on display & made the exact location your partner shot himself a tourist photo shoot location?

-Have you peeked inside that same home to see the things your created, mended, fixed, crafted, etc.. together destroyed in black water & fluids?

-Have you been on the streets while simultaneously being forced to choose between spending thousands of dollars, HOURS, blood, sweat, & tears (oh the tears) to save YOUR HOME, the place you feel your dead partner the most, & what is left of what you shared with him OR to lose hope & call it, hand over the only thing you have left, wash your hands of it all, give up the fight, JUST LIKE YOUR PARTNER DID WHEN HE GAVE UP HOPE & COULD NOT CARRY ON, when it feels like life is too hard & you feel all alone?

-Have you ever been paralyzed in fear of making the above choice knowing giving up means kicking wide open the door to the grief & loss of your dead partner again while layering the new loss of your home so you choose to eat your ego & ask for help because you just can’t do this thing alone anymore?

If you have, I am truly sorry for your loss & the pain and sorrow & isolation & heartache & trauma that comes with that journey.

I also have been through that.

It is not easy, & I love you.

If you haven’t, you are blessed & I am happy for you. No one should have to.

But also if you haven’t, try working out some compassion or politely, SHUT UP.

I no longer have the reserve or patience for you any of you.

My story is a privilege, as is yours, & unnecessary to share with everyone.

Know your truths & keep sacred what is etched in your heart.

I love you!