Help songwriter Eros Buteo(Gerod Shea) recover from theft

soundcloud demo link: https://on.soundcloud.com/1anVpRVdPv7iAFGb7

these are ureleased and unfinished but wanted to give my supporters a peak...

warning: this is long and tedious. It was just too complicated to keep short .....

(note: gofundme forces me to use my billing address)

Greetings my dears, let me start with an apology for my silence in general for a long season. When things are not going well with me I tend to isolate, not wishing to burden anyone and, in all transparency, to appear weak or needy. I have so much beauty I've collected along the way to share with you all. Songs, poems, a series of photos of the tuscan hills, a writing project long-brewing about the wisdom of sensuality....

It is my hope that this will be a step toward getting back to the kind of stability that will make this outpouring possible. This channeling of words and melodies, curation of visions, seeking of inspirations to share and inspire others is my life's purpose. I've been so behind in the packaging and releasing of these inspirations for so long you may have forgotten, but I have been working steadily in silence, and that which I've been developing is sure to be moving for many. " tear in the writer, tear in the reader" , and I have dug deep and shed an ocean of tears unearthing what I'm bringing forth. The stuff most of us must gloss over to function, take anti-depressants and choose action over feeling. No judgement, I get it. I for one have chosen feeling over fuctionality where the two paths diverge, so that I may report to those who may not travel that path. reports forthcoming...,.

There are two parts to this request. gofundme allows one category and this really fits in two, creative and emergency. I'm using gofundme to get out of the red, and depending on the results, will follow it up with a kickstarter to raise enough funds to continue moving forward with a recording project I've been planning with a London producer (The kickstarter is different i that it is contributions in exchange for offering) The project that these events have pushed way back from the immediate horizon. Right now, I'm not in a position to even run a successful kickstarter campaign.

So, for now I'm choosing to believe that if one needy, dis-honest, scarcity-minded stranger can strip me of my means to succeed, to even fully take care of myself, then other generous, honest, abundant strangers, acquaintances, friends, and family, can choose to offset this... If ever I needed support it is now

firstly, let me say, I'm shit at asking for help. It has taken weeks, years actually, but weeks of this concerted effort to get to this point. I expect rejection and ridicule. I've had to confront every voice in me that stops me. I've learned a lot. Amongst which is that these disasters happened for a reason, so that I would have to ask for help.

I kept gofundme as a last resort, and wish now that I had not. Even though I started with barely the means I needed to succeed, when I lost half of it or more, I decided that, because I've seen many miracles before in my story, perhaps if I keep moving, this would happen again...now I see, you perhaps must be that miracle.

I've written a record a year for the last twenty years, and they have gone mostly unmade and unheard. I was on the verge of shifting this when I was struck with a medical emergency and within the same few days, I was robbed (to the tune of over ten thousand dollars in cash equipment and documents, and much more in resulting expenses) This happened in the middle of my shifting residence from the US to Europe and it pulled the rug from under this process, completely. My entire life-trajectory has been redirected. After trying everything I could to recover on my own, I'm turning to the tribe, something I now wish I'd done sooner, as a lot more was lost in the meantime than was necessary. The story has so many layers and details, it's hard to explain in less than a novelette. I'm really not sure how much to include...

In short, I got robbed in Amsterdam of two bags equalling losses to the tune of over $10.000 (Cash, computer, bank cards, passport, hard-drive...) and this happened in the midst of a highly detailed plan, years in the making. AND it coincided with a sudden and severe condition in my eye requiring immediate and continuous medical attention, outside my home country, and essencially grounding me there for months when I was intending to be there only for 10 days. I had had a good plan! These stolen resources and some others were intended to sustain me through a move across the planet as well as the making of my most professional recordings to date and to create, once and for all, a channel through which the music I write and make can reach the ears it is made to reach. At first I didn't ask for help. This reluctance has made an already devastating blow far more costly. The losses now are incalculable. There is not another day to lose...

It has now also cost me any possibility of access to italian citizenship through my lineage in this lifetime (meaning access to EU citizenship and all that that can bring to a musician); an essential part of the plan toward which I'd directed a great deal of my resources for three years. In the space of the time these events delayed me, the laws which made me eligible for citizenship in Italy changed, for the first time in decades, and all I invested, in time, money, planning, redirecting my whole life, is now for nothing.

This bad news was the latest in a long list spanning the time from the robbery until now. I am still here in Italy, having completed every step for my citizenship application, including establishing a residence here, even with my lacking resources, even though the implications were that I must choose between this and investing in the music (since my resources had been cut in half), because I was already so far in. THEN, after this, they tell me the law changed and my citizenship is impossible....honestly, I've been somewhat paralyzed since this news a month or so ago. The road forward is not so clear anymore, and I don't want to make any hasty decisions. Finally completely out of money, time in Italy numbered, I was still busking to stay afloat and was then told by the Lucca police (the only place i make enough money busking within driving distance from where i stay) that I could no longer busk there. THEN I spent all i had made already on fixing my car....

No income here now. My rent is up in four days. For me to ecome gaifully employed here now would be a long-term committment, one inn which at some point i would become illegal

Here I'd like to include a more personal note: When these events in Amsterdam occured, I was away from any close friends or family. I had just changed time zones on a redeye flight. I had a severe painful eye condition, as yet undiagosed. THE POLICE IN AMSTERDAM REFUSED TO HELP ME! even though the robbery was in an area fully covered in surveillance, they would not even take my report because I had no ID. yes, you read right. I couldn't report my stolen ID because i didn't have ID. I had to get a new passport before they would even talk to me. THAT took two weeks !! And that time the whole robbery was on video they refused to look at. going back to the consulate daily. they were equally un-helpful. I share this to say that after days of this. ot so much as a hug while my world was falling apart, I went numb. And I lost my belief that anyone really cared. And this prevented me from asking for the help I needed.

Furthermore the implications of these set-backs were not all immediately visible. They come in day by day, month by month in what i can attest is a spirit grinding downward spiral of new obstacle after new obstacle....

There is not another day to lose..

This of course all exists in the larger context of my work in the world. This garden I've tended daily for decades. This perpetual music invention which regardless of circumstances scarcely slackens. Some support from the tribe is long overdue in bringing the songs to fruition. And this is on me for my reluctance to anounce my needs from the rooftops, as I now do.

The history of recorded music, or of any music well crafted, even before recording existed, is a history of patronage and borrowed money. from the church, to the Medici, to the crowns of europe, and the into the labels of the 20th century. All that music you love did not reach your ears because the artists slaved away as a waiter so hard on the side. The songs so many of you have been asking me for over the years. "where can i find that song?" the answer is about $5000 per song. And really, at this point. it's up to you. The music must be funded before it is made not after. I've held my tongue for years for fear of being perceived as asking for something for nothing, but I am not requesting money without work. I need money TO work. Many times I've stepped away from the music to make the money needed to make it, but there is no telling how long a detour is when we take one, and I have learned that this is not the way....

It is a view that only I can see. The dichotomy. At the same time I have been bouncing around without a real base for two years since the robbery, discouraged and stripped of the means necessary for meaningful progress, as I continue to seek performance opportunities everywhere I go I am consistently received with tremendous enthusiasm. Were I collecting testimonial videos they would be quite persuasive...

I feel compelled to mention I have no support system anywhere. And never really have. And despite this, have been reluctant to ask for help. This is not to discount the help I have received from friends and supporters over the years, but it does not go as far as family. I have watched as those with supportive families have easily sped past all of my strongest efforts. Nobody makes it on their own. Walking a tightrope without a net has become my normal, but it creates a scenario where the necessary small failures on the way to any success are too destructive. Where one with a net can fall three times in a day laughing, for one without, three falls will be a lifetime of recovery, leaving no time to succeed.

I have seen friends with huge safety nets still mitigate losses with go fund me. rest assured. that's not me.

I had made long preparations for my move and undertaking. Sold many things, and bought new, portable minimal, things of quality to support the process. I had just done two months of prep work(demo making) to insure success of paid studio hours. Sold my old computers for cheap and bought a new fast computer. a fast hardrive to work off and two larger ones for redundant back-ups in two physical locations(you music producers understand). I'd collected paper-work for two years-plus to apply for citizenship in Italy(and paid for it). Quality head-phones for mixing, quality bags...you get the idea. All with a very finite budget, that if I applied perfectly, could find me housed and gainfully employed by the time it is spent..

Stolen:

$5000 cash

passport: $750 (the cost of this is crazy to explain. I had just got a new one for $250.

I had to buy a temporary for $250, the a final replacement for $250.

$ 750 in passports in a matter of months)

computer $1000

hard drive: $ 250

headphones: $200

plane tickets: 1000

peripherals: ?2000 ( this is all the expenses of sustainig myself through this aftermath without an income

this doesn't include lost recording work on the hard-drive which would take all the expenses of unpaid weeks or months to re-record. now that the resulting delays caused all my investment toward italian citizenship to be lost for no result, the damages are over $20,000.

I'm not trying to recover all I lost. I'm trying to create a path to recovery that will allow my health and career to move forward.

If you made it this far...WOW! either you care or I caught you really bored : )

For those of you who have an idea of my skill sets, I'm open to any kind of ideas you may have for how we might make some kid of mutually beneficial exchange.