Removing my children from an unsafe home
Donation protected
This is one of the toughest moments I've had as an adult because I promised myself I would never do this kind of thing. It's a moment where vulnerability and the setting aside of my pride is tantamount to my kids safety. So here I am. Swallowing that shit and coming to the community I've built around me, for help in this moment.
On January 26th, through an extreme circumstance, I made a shockingly painful discovery. My two teenage children, aged 13 and 15, were being mentally and eventually physically abused by my mother whenever I would leave the house. For the last few years we have all lived together in an intergenerational household, and apparently for a portion of that time, my mother began to verbally and mentally abuse my children until it carried into the physical -- but she would wait until I was gone. While this is enough for any child to deal with, both of my children also identify as trans/non binary, which has caused them quite an additional amount of trauma from outside forces such as bullies at school. So having to come home from an unsafe environment, to an environment where the minute I left, a switch would flip, caused even more emotional distress. With so much going on, my kids, fearing what kind of action would be taken if they disclosed the information, kept silent. The anxiety, hurt, and fear that it caused my kids to experience is going to be something that I will have to spend the rest of my life making sure is healed.
Yet right now we are in a bit of dire straits. With the sudden and recent upheaval, with me working as a freelance writer/editor now, and with me having recently wiped my 401k to assist in repairs of the house we are no longer able to stay at, our financial situation will not allow us to relocate quickly and safely. Currently we are split between three different houses, and while all of this is enough to bring even the strongest kid down, the fact that I can't be physically there for them is making it far more difficult.
After the urging of my community members, I decided to say fuck it, and start a gofundme. We need to be able to come up with enough money to find a place to live that won't keep us separated for too much longer. While the freelance writing was enough to subsist on in our previous situation, it isn't enough to rebound into a place, and I will also be looking for permanent work in the meantime to assist in the process of earning additional income.
I'll be honest yall. I never thought I would be here. I never thought my kids would be here. We've been through a lot and have gotten through it all together, but this is a moment in time where I'm at a loss.
But we can't go back there. The wounds my mom caused me as a child took years to even begin to heal -- because I had to go through it alone. But I won't let me kids have to suffer this shit. I refuse to make them feel like they're alone.
It's never easy to know we missed the signs. That we failed to keep our children safe. I will have to live with that knowledge, and will have to spend the rest of my life ensuring that they are able to heal from this trauma. But right now.. I need to keep them safe, and this is a moment where I need help to do that.
They say it takes a village. My village has come through time and time again with mental and moral support. Love and protections. Magic and wisdom. I hate having to come to yall for more than that, but I have to. Just this once.
I promise. When this writing thing fully blossoms into me being this international superstar of a novelist, and I get dummy wealthy? I'm buying all yall gummies. The fanciest of gummies.
On January 26th, through an extreme circumstance, I made a shockingly painful discovery. My two teenage children, aged 13 and 15, were being mentally and eventually physically abused by my mother whenever I would leave the house. For the last few years we have all lived together in an intergenerational household, and apparently for a portion of that time, my mother began to verbally and mentally abuse my children until it carried into the physical -- but she would wait until I was gone. While this is enough for any child to deal with, both of my children also identify as trans/non binary, which has caused them quite an additional amount of trauma from outside forces such as bullies at school. So having to come home from an unsafe environment, to an environment where the minute I left, a switch would flip, caused even more emotional distress. With so much going on, my kids, fearing what kind of action would be taken if they disclosed the information, kept silent. The anxiety, hurt, and fear that it caused my kids to experience is going to be something that I will have to spend the rest of my life making sure is healed.
Yet right now we are in a bit of dire straits. With the sudden and recent upheaval, with me working as a freelance writer/editor now, and with me having recently wiped my 401k to assist in repairs of the house we are no longer able to stay at, our financial situation will not allow us to relocate quickly and safely. Currently we are split between three different houses, and while all of this is enough to bring even the strongest kid down, the fact that I can't be physically there for them is making it far more difficult.
After the urging of my community members, I decided to say fuck it, and start a gofundme. We need to be able to come up with enough money to find a place to live that won't keep us separated for too much longer. While the freelance writing was enough to subsist on in our previous situation, it isn't enough to rebound into a place, and I will also be looking for permanent work in the meantime to assist in the process of earning additional income.
I'll be honest yall. I never thought I would be here. I never thought my kids would be here. We've been through a lot and have gotten through it all together, but this is a moment in time where I'm at a loss.
But we can't go back there. The wounds my mom caused me as a child took years to even begin to heal -- because I had to go through it alone. But I won't let me kids have to suffer this shit. I refuse to make them feel like they're alone.
It's never easy to know we missed the signs. That we failed to keep our children safe. I will have to live with that knowledge, and will have to spend the rest of my life ensuring that they are able to heal from this trauma. But right now.. I need to keep them safe, and this is a moment where I need help to do that.
They say it takes a village. My village has come through time and time again with mental and moral support. Love and protections. Magic and wisdom. I hate having to come to yall for more than that, but I have to. Just this once.
I promise. When this writing thing fully blossoms into me being this international superstar of a novelist, and I get dummy wealthy? I'm buying all yall gummies. The fanciest of gummies.
Organizer
Liv Monahan
Organizer
Rosemont, CA