Remi’s Purpose

Remi’s Purpose, Inc

It was June 6, 2019 when our tragic nightmare began: Remi Joan Cowan was only 16 weeks old. She was perfect in every way, pure and innocent, yet tragically removed from our life, unexpectedly, while in the care of a babysitter. Although we clung to our faith and hope in the Lord, Remi’s body temperature kept decreasing, her organs were failing, and a scan of her head revealed there was no brain activity. Remi was pronounced dead at 10:21 am on June 7, 2019 due to cardiac arrest as a result ofcerebral hypoxia (lack of oxygen). Remi’s death is believed to be a result of asphyxiation as the babysitter fell asleep with her.

If I had known my sweet Remi would leave this world so soon, I would’ve kissed her more, told her I loved her more, held her more, and cherished every moment more, but I didn’t, which is a struggle within itself. I will never have the chance to see her sit, roll, crawl, walk, or even celebrate holidays and birthdays. I am living every parent’s nightmare and it is a never-ending emotional wallop. One never imagines visiting their child at a cemetery, but it is my reality.

While sitting next to Remi’s tombstone last summer, I remember tears flowing down my face and the pain penetrating throughout my entire body. I recall standing up and looking around the cemetery thinking, “This cannot be the end. What is my purpose for this life?”

Eventually I found myself walking around the Montoursville Cemetery, reading names and biblical scripture on monuments. I started to notice temporary memorial grave markers on countless plots, but it wasn’t until I stumbled across a children’s section in the cemetery that I began to note the dates on the markers... 1993, 1997, 1989, 2001, 2005, and some were even too damaged and faded to read.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Colossians 3:23-24 NIV

Funeral costs are not something that many of us plan for until retirement or even later in life. We expect to grow up, marry, have children and watch them grow and have their own children, and pass away peacefully at an old age after living a wonderful, long life. However, our hopes and expectations aren’t always Gods plan for us and when it is our time to leave this world, we won’t be late for that appointment. Reality is that no matter the order, death from this world is inevitable. Death is life. Life is loss. Death is promised.

So there I stood, numb, in the middle of that cemetery approximately 250 yards away from where my sweet Remi Joan’s body lies, wondering how I could ensure I fulfilled the Lords purpose for my daughters short life here on earth. I prayed, “Direct me, oh Lord. Use my sweet Remi as a vessel and help me spread your goodness to others.”

I remember taking pictures of many temporary markers, desperately wanting to put a permanent monument on every plot to honor each human properly. I can’t recall if I was walking away from that children’s section or driving out of the cemetery, but I vividly remember feeling an overwhelming sense of appreciation and gratefulness for the outpour of love and support my husband and I received from family members, friends, and the community after Remi’s passing. Without a single doubt, I know we would not have had the privilege of honoring Remi the way we desired if it was not for the generosity of so many people.

Funeral costs have steadily increased since the 1980’s and are expected to continue. The financial burden only adds to the agony and sorrow, enhancing the pain of loss.  On average, cremation and viewing services currently range from $1,500 - $8,000 depending on the options selected. On the contrary, the average burial and funeralcosts $9,000 - $15,000 including service fees, transportation services, paperwork, burial plot, burial vault, monument/headstone, and the opening and closing of the grave. These average costs do not consider other options, including obituary cost, flowers, and Pastoral fees.

Assistance with funeral costs is very limited and although unable to find any comprehensive data on the number of unclaimed bodies in morgues around the country, this is also a significant issue. In 2017, the Chief Medical Examiner in Connecticut lost accreditation for a period of time due to not having any additional storage space to hold bodies or urns. Approximately fifteen states offer some kind of assistance to help fund funeral costs; however, it does not cover the full cost of the services. Sadly, many bodies end up in mass burial sites, without identification, next to heaping piles of trash or stored inside funeral homes as if they never existed.

My struggle and agony of losing my sweet Remi has ripped my flesh apart, but it has also placed me in a new light. It has given me a new appreciation and view of this world. Finding meaning after the loss of a child is a challenge as my purpose seems irrelevant when compared to the suffering. Grief is a personal journey, but when shared with others it seems a little lighter.

Remi’s Purpose, Inc. is a non-profit organization founded to provide financial support to bereaved families for cremation or burial services and/or burial plot and/or monument/headstone. Our mission is to help alleviate the financial burden that grieving loved ones face and to ensure humans are honored the way they should be. Remi’s Purpose strives to meet the Lord’s calling of compassionately lessening the financial stress death can place on bereaved loved ones.

As a result of the pandemic, many funeral homes are overloaded and bereaved families are unable to financially provide for their deceased loved one within time constraints, causing many humans bodies to be considered “unclaimed.” Remi’s Purpose is designed . , , , , .

Remi’s Purpose is still pending approval for The 501(c)(3) status; however, has been encouraged to start fundraising and providing grants to those in need.

Donations are greatly appreciated.