40 Years in Panels: A Graphic Memoir of Survival and Healing

Intro

Based on a true story.

I survived childhood abuse, addiction, loss, and rebuilding. Now I’m telling my story the only way I know how—one short graphic novel at a time.

This is going to be based on my life

Some details—names, places, timelines—are adjusted to protect the living, but the stories are based on my life.

I’m creating a series of graphic memoirs in the spirit of Harvey Pekar’s American Splendor. Not every year of my life will become a 100-page book, but across forty years I’ll share dozens of short stories: some haunting, some joyful, many in between.

I’ve spent decades silent. Friends of mine didn’t survive what I did. I can’t stay quiet anymore. These books aren’t just for me. They’re for anyone carrying scars from abuse, trauma, or addiction, who needs to know they’re not alone. And for those that loved to escape to nature.

I’m not just writing as a victim. I’ve had shameful days and done things I'm not proud of. But I’ve also been a good friend, a husband, and someone who fought hard to rebuild. This isn’t a saint’s story. It’s a human one.

While battling PTSD and the toll of years of survival. To bring this project to life, I need help covering lost income, creative tools, and collaboration with an artist hopefully.

I've been slowed down. Not right I slowed down because my father was diagnosed with dementia. Just after a few weeks ago my wife and I were talking to him. He sounded happy, fine. He passed away to a form of dementia I was told it was called "Lewy Body dementia" a lot sooner than I thought could happen. I should have done more research on it (https://chatgpt.com/s/t_69b4be829af48191a62cabf572e91fea)

Where Your Donation Goes

Phase 1 Goal: $25,000

Funds Volume 1 production and stability for 6–9 months.

Writing & Production Time – $12,000

Software & Layout Tools – $3,000

Therapy & Health Support – $3,000

Initial Illustration (AI-assisted + test artist collaboration) – $5,000

Printing & Distribution Setup – $2,000

Closing

This is my chance to heal, create, and live a life I don’t have to recover from every night.

Your donation isn’t just support for me—it’s belief in survival, in truth, and in stories that are too often buried. Thank you for helping me share mine.

Episode 1:(preview short and unpolished preview) The Season

The biting cold wasn’t why I was shaking.

I was twelve—maybe younger—perched in a tree stand, holding a rifle, a man’s breath curling behind me in the winter air.

“Pull the trigger,” he whispered.

Again—harsher. “Pull the trigger.”

A third time, cold and lifeless:

“Pull the trigger… or die like the kids in the ghetto you live in.”

A deer stepped into view.

I froze. My mind raced:

What if she has babies? What if she’s carrying them now?

I didn’t want to kill her.

Then

POP.

A gunshot. Deafness. Blindness. My body went cold.

I slipped into a memory: waking before school in a panic, convinced something was chasing me. Running through snow, barefoot, half-dressed. Falling through the icy creek in our backyard. Making it to the shelter my friends and I built. Starting a fire. Shivering so hard I thought I’d crack open.

I came back to the present. But the warmth wasn’t the fire. It was the blood of the deer bleeding out over me.

He had shot her. And I had failed his test.

He shoved me and the deer off the wagon like garbage. My shoulder slammed into a rock. Pain exploded. My vision blurred. I went in and out of consciousness.

Then—worse.

I woke up strung naked beside the gutted deer. He was butchering her and maybe me next.

Sorry $25,000-50,00 I'm doing my best to find out what is realistic or asking too much.

I was tested it felt like forever. What it meant to be a real man, He thought I was being “taught” what it meant to be a man:

Kill. Obey. Be silent. Or die. I was learning being yourself. At the time a bit of Skate or Die was more me than he would ever be.

But yet he thought I was very weak. In some ways I still am.

I had looked up to this man.

I didn’t ask for this.

Suddenly my mind went into a spiral of questions. Why did this man, a man that had more toys than kids i knew have. What is that telling me?

why does tha man with no kids have dirt bikes for young kids stored at his remote trailer on his "hunting grounds" Am I safe?

This place so remote? What if I need help. Why did I so easily agree to learn what his definition to be a man was? Was it because I thought my father never really wanted me? I had fallen for it. Hunting, and killing animals wasn't something that to appealed to me ever. It had disguesed me as a child when my neighbors would harm animals. Where was my mind at? I know I am young but I know I should have known better.

This is hopefully going to contiune going forward.

I have a lot of content ready to write but this isn' just one time. I belive I can be succseful as a fictional writer as well. I would like to shift away from my regular job to doing this full time. And if I don't make it that far I plan on at least doing these things part time. I would appreciate any help.

Once I get money to finish my first graphic novels. I'll be able to take this down ASAP. And continue the journey off the money I make from my first few episodes. Some people. Obviously the first people I share this with will know who I am. I would appreciate everyone to refer to me as my pen name or to the person that shares this fundraiser to get it started. If you can please. Please share.

I Love to write and this is the project I would like to start first. I would extreamly appreciate any help.