In January 2023, I was just starting a new remote, work from home position. I was happy and honestly thought I would finish out my career there.

I was in the home stretch of becoming totally debt free by May 2025. Life was getting better and I could see freedom just a few more steps ahead. That was a great feeling.

In March of 2023, our department was able to have a team meeting in Paris. One of my sisters was able to come with me and while I was in meetings during the day, she spent her time taking cooking classes, learning how to make croissants and baguettes. In the evenings we would go and explore the city of lights.

Two days after my return, I accepted a LinkedIn connection request from an attractive man who said he worked as a freelance engineering supervisor for oil rig companies.

That one click changed the course of my life.

He wanted to chat. He respectfully asked me if it was ok for him to talk to me and I said, sure. He asked if I was married, I’m not.

He said his wife died about 5 years earlier from cancer. He was born in Spain, both his parents died in a car crash when he was 14 so he was raised by his aunt Judy.

He was living in San Diego and had one son who went to school in Texas.

He was home, but was in the process of sending out his resume to different oil companies.

I told him that I hadn’t been in a relationship for many years, I have two grown sons that I raised as a single parent.

Within a couple of days we were texting back and forth multiple times a day. Within a couple of weeks he was telling me that he loved me and sending love bombs daily.

We planned to meet at the end of April. A few days prior to that happening, he received a job offer from one of the oil companies he applied to and had to leave immediately.

I was disappointed, but he said he would only be gone for a month or two.

Soon after he left the states, he convinced me that we should start a crypto investment together. He and I would open a joint account, each of us would put in $50K. I was uncomfortable with this.

I’d have to cash out one of my IRA accounts to get that kind of money but he convinced me that it would be lucrative and it would be funding for the trips we planned to take once he got back.

One day, he texted me to say his internet was really slow and would I do him a favor. He wanted me to get into his bank account and do a wire transfer for him. I was happy to help, curious to see how much money was in the account.

He provided all the log in information and I was able to see that he had over 4 million in this account. This made me feel like everything was legitimate.

He walked me through the transfer, and over the next several days I helped him complete additional wires.

Then on one attempt, the account was suddenly frozen.

He said the bank now required him to come in person—which of course he couldn’t do because he was supposedly out in the ocean on the job.

That was the turning point.

The trap then shifted to me to help financially. He needed money to get this job done so he could come home.

I had to cash out my second IRA account to get him the cash he needed.

After that, he kept inventing more reasons he needed more money. More reasons for his delay in returning. I went back to the bank 3 times until I maxed out my home equity line of credit.

After that it shifted to maxing out my ability to borrow, and credit cards.

It was now December and I desperately needed him to come back so he could pay me back and I could pay off all the debt.

One of the last bits of credit I had went to purchasing a top of the line IPad and the latest IPhone to send to his son as a Christmas present as he would not be home in time to get him anything. He instructed me to send the package to Houston, not addressed to his son, but to someone else he said was a neighbor.

About a week or so later, I received a call from a man who said he was from the Office of the Inspector General and wanted to know if the package I sent was supposed to be repackaged and sent to Nigeria.

I was stunned. No, I said of course not, it’s a Christmas present for my boyfriends son.

He told me they were working on a separate case and had raided the address that I sent the package to.

It was at this moment, when my fantasy world came crashing down in flames. Every red flag I ignored to my own peril, every cent I had, was gone.

Don’t think for a minute that you won’t be a target of some type of scam in the future, or that you’re too smart to fall for something like this.

Before you find yourself in the same position, do some self reflection because scams come when you least expect them.

Ask yourself — what makes you vulnerable?

Understand your weaknesses. What “assets" do you have to lose?

I never considered either of these ideas because I never thought I would be targeted. I didn’t think I had anything anybody wanted.

As it turns out I had much more than I believed.

In this age of technology, the most effective thieves no longer need to hold a gun to your head. They don’t need to break into your house and they don’t need to steal your purse as they run past you on the sidewalk.

Although technology continually increases, scammers will find ways into our lives through our human side.

These cyber thieves don’t target intelligence—they target your trust, your emotions, how you think and how you react. That’s why our best line of defense is education, honest conversation, and the willingness to pause before we act.

I now plan to use the money to recoup some of my losses but also to continue my advocacy to help others avoid the same trap I found myself in.

Thank you