Eating Disorder Treatment for Chavie
Donation protected
My name is Chavie and I have a serious eating disorder. I have struggled with this for a while and sought out treatment on my own 4 years ago. I was in intensive psychotherapy, multiple times a week. We were making progress, we went deep and uncovered my traumas to help me understand why I need to starve myself and torture myself in the way that I do. Eating started feeling a little easier and some mornings I woke up even looking forward to the day. Then Covid hit and I lost my job and my treatment ended because I could no longer afford it.
I've spiraled deep into the darkness of my eating disorder over the last year and lost over 15 lbs. I'm hurting so badly inside and it feels impossible to let myself eat or take care of myself. I wake up in the morning crying because just getting through the day is brutal. I struggle with debilitating anxiety and I know it's because there's so much anger and hatred inside me towards myself. I so badly want relief, I want this badness inside me to go away, and I know that the only way to do that is to get back into therapy.
I grew up in the ultra-orthodox Hasidic community in Brooklyn, NY. My dad is a Rabbi but he's always been very abusive to my siblings and I. He called me terrible names every time he passed by me, demanding respect at the same time. He called me "Chazur" (pig) every time he saw me eat. Sometimes he would snatch the food away saying that it's his because he paid for it. I can still hear him calling me "pig" every time I eat.
In my late teens I dealt with a major trauma. I was repeatedly raped by my boss at work. I suffered in silence for almost a year until I felt I couldn't keep going. I was 19 when my eating disorder symptoms surfaced and after a long hospitalization I left my community. I don't feel anger towards the community and I continue to respect their way of life, but I wish my family and community had protected me from the people who hurt me.
I've had to learn a lot about society because I grew up so insular and protected. I feel proud of the work I've done so far but it's been really hard battling anorexia, battling MYSELF, while trying to build a life.
I'm asking you to please help me so that I can get into treatment and get back on my feet. I'm very motivated and disciplined. I wake up at 5 a.m every morning so that I can get to the gym before I start work. I work really hard. I'm a freelance Graphic and Web Designer. But the noise in my head is keeping me from growing and the starvation is making it impossible for me to think clearly.
Please if you can, help me get the care I need. I'm also open to taking on design work. I don't have health insurance, and most plans don't cover psychotherapy. I am paying to see a psychiatrist once a month and I'm paying for my medication out of pocket. But I'm struggling to make my rent.
Next week is my 34th birthday. Please help me so that this next year can be different for me. I want to get healthy and I so want a chance to feel true happiness.
I've spiraled deep into the darkness of my eating disorder over the last year and lost over 15 lbs. I'm hurting so badly inside and it feels impossible to let myself eat or take care of myself. I wake up in the morning crying because just getting through the day is brutal. I struggle with debilitating anxiety and I know it's because there's so much anger and hatred inside me towards myself. I so badly want relief, I want this badness inside me to go away, and I know that the only way to do that is to get back into therapy.
I grew up in the ultra-orthodox Hasidic community in Brooklyn, NY. My dad is a Rabbi but he's always been very abusive to my siblings and I. He called me terrible names every time he passed by me, demanding respect at the same time. He called me "Chazur" (pig) every time he saw me eat. Sometimes he would snatch the food away saying that it's his because he paid for it. I can still hear him calling me "pig" every time I eat.
In my late teens I dealt with a major trauma. I was repeatedly raped by my boss at work. I suffered in silence for almost a year until I felt I couldn't keep going. I was 19 when my eating disorder symptoms surfaced and after a long hospitalization I left my community. I don't feel anger towards the community and I continue to respect their way of life, but I wish my family and community had protected me from the people who hurt me.
I've had to learn a lot about society because I grew up so insular and protected. I feel proud of the work I've done so far but it's been really hard battling anorexia, battling MYSELF, while trying to build a life.
I'm asking you to please help me so that I can get into treatment and get back on my feet. I'm very motivated and disciplined. I wake up at 5 a.m every morning so that I can get to the gym before I start work. I work really hard. I'm a freelance Graphic and Web Designer. But the noise in my head is keeping me from growing and the starvation is making it impossible for me to think clearly.
Please if you can, help me get the care I need. I'm also open to taking on design work. I don't have health insurance, and most plans don't cover psychotherapy. I am paying to see a psychiatrist once a month and I'm paying for my medication out of pocket. But I'm struggling to make my rent.
Next week is my 34th birthday. Please help me so that this next year can be different for me. I want to get healthy and I so want a chance to feel true happiness.
Organizer
Chavie Moster
Organizer
Boca Raton, FL