The Barker Family Needs Your Help

Within the past 2 years, our family has endured more than one should giving our age and health in the years prior. In October of 2013, I was diagnosed with a random lung disease that no specialist has been able to figure out yet and am still suffering with testing and symptoms and medicines that will kill me if I don't find an alternate solution to them and justin was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. Both in the same week NEVER having a single health problem before that. We both spent around 2 months in the hospital combined and neither of us were insured. When we were discharged, I never got rid of my stmptoms and my diagnosis was never found and I am still living with this random disease. Justin, however, was fine. Never a symptom or sign of UC. Regardless of what he ate or drank. We actually thought he was mis-diagnosed. This all changed in March of this year. Justin began having stomach pains again. Then came the bleeding. Since he is uninsured, he waited it out for about a week but tje symptoms only got worse. So to the ER we went. He was told it was a UC flare up, was given some meds, and went home. 2 days later, due to no relief, we went back and he was admitted. I posted this explaining the following 21 days of complete disaster:

For those that don't know, we are on day 19 (well 20 since it's almost 1am) of our stay at St. Tammany Parish Hospital. Justin was admitted on the 17th for a TERRIBLE flare up of ulcerative colitis. {if you don't know what it is, Google it.} Somewhere around day 14, not only was he not getting better, he was getting worse.

MEANWHILE, somewhere around day 11, I feel what is easily described as the worst pain imaginable and after 3 ER visits, I find MYSELF admitted as well with a 4.5mm jagged kidney stone OUT OF NOWHERE and wind up having surgery to remove it and have a stent placed that spans from my left kidney to my bladder which needs to stay in for 5 days. (5 days of hell, that is.) I was discharged after only 2 nights...

Anyways, back to justin.
Aside from the traditional awful symptoms of UC, he was complaining of severe pains all throughout his upper body. So they did an X-ray to make sure nothing crazy had happened. I had left the hospital about an hour prior to that for the 1st time in 2 weeks to try to rejuvenate and rest and to see my sweet boy and my OTHER sweet boy, ragnar. I lay down on the sofa, thanking God for a living room and a sofa and peace with no nurses...sheer bliss.

Little did I know, I was about to receive a phone call that would literally make my heart skip a beat and cause my whole life to stand completely still as I struggle to breathe.

It's a number I don't recognize so I ignore it, naturally. I'm relaxing, remember?? No time for random calls. But they call right back.

It's the surgeon from St. Tammany. Mustering something along the lines of emergency surgery. I hold my breath as he proceeds to state that my husbands x-ray showed that his colon perforated and it is leaking into his upper body and they are prepping him for surgery to remove his entire colon.

What?? Are you kidding?? Emergency surgery?? He needs his colon!! Prepping the OR!?!?Now?? I'm not there. This is a mistake. He's only 31. He's never even been under anesthesia. Never even a minor office procedure. And they are telling me they are removing a vital organ. NOW. And I'm not there.

As this call is taking place, my nana is dropping my son off who I've been DYING to see. I turn and see his flawless smile wave and run towards me as I'm bawling on the phone with the surgeon. He hugs me tight and says,"man mom. It sure looks like you've had a bad day!!"
(Bad day didn't even begin to describe what I was having but he was soo concerned and I felt a few seconds of peace.)

Then reality hits. Oh shit. Get in the car Kristen. You HAVE to be there. He needs you.

So I tell my nana, she keeps Brayden, and I go.

Justin texts me 2 words - I'm scared. My heart literally breaks...
Who WOULDN'T be scared?!?! I comfort him and assure him I'll be there in time.

And I was. He was in the OR holding area, being asked to sign this, do that, look here, say aah, all while holding back emotions men always try to hold back...

My strong, fearless husband was distraught. I walked over to him and he clutched on. Tight as he could and he let the emotions go. Anger, confusion, fear, guilt. All of it and I was there to calm him and assure him everything was going to be ok.

Then they take him. And I lose it. That's my best friend they took. My soulmate. I need him. He's my son and I's whole world.

FOUR HOURS LATER - the surgeon comes out. Says everything went great and he was getting an epidural (for pain control) and they were going to bring him back to his room.

So I'm good. The worst is over. He's out and alive and his disease is gone. All great news!!

Then I see him. With 23 staples in his belly, a NG tube down his nose/throat, an epidural, an extra IV in his neck in addition to his PICline, and I crumble.

It HURTS to see your most prized possession sooooo broken. To know they will be terrified and in pain when they wake up. How can I possibly be strong enough to get him through this?? How am I going to get MYSELF through this??

I wished I could be in that bed hooked up to all those machines after being 'gutted' because I just couldn't bear seeing him in soo much pain and depression. I scoot my cot up until it's butted up against his bed and I scratch his head for hours as I cry my eyes out while he sleeps....

That's when I realized 2 important things.

1) I have found unconditional love. This man is literally a part of me. He hurts, I hurt. He's sad, I'm sad. We are one and we will be until the good lord calls us home. We fight and argue but without him, there's no me...

2) I realized that a woman's strength is unmeasurable. The emotional pain I have been in for the last 20 days is something I never thought I'd experience, much less conquer. I had a full time job that needed me, a beautiful boy who needed me, a cat that didn't deserve to be abandoned who needed me and my husband who needed me ALL WHILE being admitted and operated on myself. Incredible. It's quite amazing what you can do when you are forced to tap into your reserve and keep pushing when the entire universe (or so it feels that way) is pulling you down.

I now lay here, with my cot butted up to my husbands hospital bed, as he snores and think to myself, 'damn Kristen. You did it. You survived it. Your husbands making remarkable progress, your son is having a BLAST at grams and nonnies, your job is still there, your stent is out and Ragnar has friends staying with him. You friggen did it.

Ladies, next time you feel like giving up or you think you're at the end of your rope, whatever the situation may be, don't. You've got sooo much fight stashed away, you'll shock the shit out of yourself!!! Your men need you to be strong. They'll never say it but it's probably the most important thing you can be for them.

Thanks for everyone who has called, stopped by, brought food, texted and prayed. We are humbled by our support. And to those who are just finding out, please understand that it is literally impossible to contact everyone you know in the midst of a crisis.
Super special thanks to gram (Beverly Walker) for keeping my baby happy and safe. To my mother (Bonny Hauffe Kennedy) for doing EVERYTHING, as usual. For Simone Seghers Barker for taking care of ragnar till we got house sitters. For Cheryl Willis Westmoreland and Johnny Pounds for clean clothes. For every smoothie and mashed potato run. Thank you everyone for everything and it looks like today will be the last day!!!!
Keep the prayers coming as justin will be out of work for quite some time and we know what that does to a hard working busy body mentally and financially... (End Of Post)

He was discharged 2 days ago and was doing GREAT.

Until the next day...

I go to work (because he is expected to be out for 6 months since there is another surgery to follow once he is healed) and I come home and he's doing awful. He's soo nauseated and tired that he doesn't even open his eyes. He doesn't move. He does nothing but throw up constantly.

So this morning, I call the surgeon, she sees him in clinic (all while he is in a wheelchair cause he can't even walk, he's soo weak) and sends us to the ER to get some fluids and do some X-rays. We think he's just super dehydrated because that's a high risk with his colon being removed.

And as I'm typing, the ER doctor just came in and stated the worst possible scenario has happened. He's got an obstruction and is being re-admitted.

So, with as prideful and independent as we are, I am asking for your help. Between the medical bills of an uninsured patient having emergency surgery and a month impatient stay, him being out of work for 6 months, the medicines we have to pay cash for, me missing work to take care of him and now another admission, we will lose everything if we don't get help.

So please, even if it's just a dollar, we would be sooo grateful for any help from anyone.

Please pray for our family. We need to be back in a normal routine with our son!!!!!