Raising money in memory of Mari Rose

Hi, my name is Carys.

On the 13th October 2012 I gave birth to our beautiful baby girl who was born asleep at Bronglais hospital, Aberystwyth. It is approaching 10 years since our whole life was shattered, and as the years have gone by, I've slowly learnt to manage/cope with my grief, and I'm sure it doesn't come as a surprise that I have suffered with anxiety and depression over the years. Until this year I have never felt that I can even talk about it let alone raise money to help others.

My partner Gaz and I have decided that we would like to raise money in memory of our daughter Mari Rose. We have challenged ourselves to walk from our family home near Aberporth along the coastal path, passing Mari's grave at Cwmtydu church and finishing in Aberystwyth Bronglais hospital. We will undertake this challenge on the 15th & 16th of October.

10 years ago there wasn't much facilities regarding families suffering a loss of a baby. Our experience of being on the maternity ward is something that will always haunt me, hearing babies crying all through the night and also new parents congratulating us and commenting how quiet our baby was whilst my arms ached to hold my baby again, who had been moved down to the hospital mortuary.

I have been speaking to Bronglais maternity ward and they now have a bereavement midwife that works on the ward and supports families after their trauma too. They also now have an individual family room for mother's who's baby has died or born asleep so that they can have privacy during this painful time. This was a comfort to hear that things have improved. They also have a cuddle cot. For those not familiar, a Cuddle Cot is an in-room cooling unit that is the size of a small humidifier that is disguised inside a bassinet or Moses basket. A Cuddle Cot gives families the gift of time, allowing for their precious baby to be at their bedside during their hospital stay. A ​CuddleCot can keep the baby cool so the baby can stay bedside up to 3-5 days with their family and can also be taken home for a few days if family wishes to do so. These are around £1600 to purchase. I wish so much that there was something like this available when I gave birth, I can't remember much because I was absolutely heartbroken, it felt that time just went so fast, my body was there but my mind wasn't and I just wasn't able to take everything in, her lips, her hands, her tiny feet. I feel that if we had been able to have use of a cuddle cot, we would have had the chance to have had some precious moments and memories to look back on and we possibly may have come to terms with our loss a lot sooner. So I am raising money for another Cuddle Cot for the ward so that no family that needs one is without.

From speaking to the bereavement midwife too, I discussed our awful experiences and said that how we wish there was a better camera available at the time, we had a disposable camera that was provided but many of the pictures weren't very clear which breaks my heart as these are pictures I will never be able to recapture, so I would also like to raise money for a couple of Polaroid Cameras. These are around £150 for a good camera and films. This will give grieving parents/ family members instant hard copies and precious memories that they can keep forever. I am always taking pictures. You don't know how important pictures are until they are all you have left.

If I manage to reach my target and there is donations left over, I will consult with the bereavement midwife as to what else the donations can be used towards in order to improve bereaved families experiences. This may also include a donation to Glangwili maternity / Fetel Medicine Unit at the University Hospital of Wales.

Any donation is very much appreciated, however big or small. Please give to this worthy cause and help us make a small difference.

Diolch / Thankyou

Carys & Gaz