Rainbow Twins on the Way: Help Us after loss of Son

Having my newborn son, Declan, in the NICU was one of the most difficult times of my life, between the constant medical updates and the life or death decisions about my son during the time he lived in the hospital. I had an emergency C-section; my son was premature. It was difficult, but I would walk down to the NICU to see him sleeping. I sat on the floor and cried, praying to God before entering the NICU.

We had to wash our hands up to the elbows so we could hold his little hand - his body was so tiny - it had so many tubes, IVs, and machines, attached to him - the ventilator pumping his lungs - the pads attached to his head and body monitoring every bodily function. I was terrifies the first time I held his little hand.

He hemorrhaged in his brainstem the 2nd day and we were told he possibly would have permanent brain damage, and he would grow up to be delayed mentally.

By the third night, our son’s brain had hemorrhaged, and he started having seizures and full body system failures including his heart - furthering his brain damage…

Exhausted, I sat on the floor in my hospital room praying to God for mercy for my tiny newborn son - fighting for his life. Some part of me knew his end may be near. We were surrounded by family and friends - another call to our room – our son was critical, and the doctors want us to come down to the NICU immediately. It was terrifying - over 20 doctors were working on our tiny baby, Declan. We were asked to make split-second life or death medical decisions.

We watched -helplessly - as the brain waves disappeared on the monitor and we knew seeing those brain waves flattened out - our tiny innocent beautiful baby boy would never feel the comfort of his parents holding him close, he would never be coming home with us. Our little baby’s brain had suffered too much trauma, and his brain no longer was funnctiong.

We never got to see our son grow up, hear him laugh or smile, or to even see him open his eyes. I never got to change a single diaper - his whole time on earth was only three days before the angels called my baby boy home.

We want a family, we have never questioned the tremendous cost.

Here we are two years later after the tragic loss of our son, standing strong, willing to try for a second baby we worked so hard to get here - we moved across country, we started over, we fought through the depths of grief and sadness we never fathomed existed - so utterly lost in our own grief, we almost lost each other too - it threatened to break us apart, but we fought for each other and have built a stronger, more loving and understanding relationship than ever before.

Two years have passed, and I am 23 weeks pregnant and counting. With one extra surprise - we are having TWINS! We started with three fetuses but unfortunately one lasted only a few weeks. The medical bills and other expenses continue with our twin pregnancy.

We need your help with past and future expenses for our son, Declan, and our Rainbow Twin Baby Girls! Our new miracles need help to get off the ground - help our girls start their new lives by donating today.