Catholic Burial for Thomas Kernan
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Please consider donating for a Catholic burial with dignity for Thomas J. Kernan
Written by Cassandra Sciortino and Initiated by Timothy Irving
Beloved parishioner, Thomas J. Kernan died on February 14, 2019 at St. Anne’s Home with The Little Sisters of the Poor in San Francisco. He was in the long-term care of the Veterans Hospitals in San Francisco, having been in the Army. He spent all of his retirement and savings in old age looking after an old friend who suffered a long battle with cancer, not realizing he too would fall victim to the disease. Not long after his friend passed away he became sick with cancer, hiding it for several years until eventually he lost all his resources, and his health and was taken into the care of the Little Sisters of the Poor in San Francisco. We are seeking any help you might offer to allow for a Catholic burial for Tom. Please consider a donation to cover mortuary and burial fees.
Biography of Thomas J. Kernan
In 1932 Redmond F. Kernan married Marguerite Ghelfi. Thomas Kernan, their first child, was born in 1933. Thomas was named after his father’s cousin: Monsignor Thomas J. Kernan, who was ordained a priest on May 19, 1883. Mons. Kernan was rector at St. Nicholas Roman Catholic Church in Passiac, New Jersey.
Redmond F. Kernan, Thomas’ father, excelled in school. In 1918 he graduated from Westpoint with the highest honors. He went on to graduate from Fordham Law School and practiced corporate law on Wall Street until the United States entered World War II.
His mother was born in France (near Lille). The upheaval of World War I led Thomas’ mother to immigrate to the US with her mother and two sisters. She arrived in NY at the age of nine. She was, essentially, raised in a convent school—which Tom says used to be called the Grey Nuns. She bore three more children, Redmond, Jeanne, and Adrienne. Tom said that his mother was like a saint and a devout Catholic.
Tom’s father was promoted to General of the 27th division of the Army, before the US entered the war. His division was activated to training in the southern United States. Tom likes to tell a sweet story about the culture shock a New York lawyer experienced, training in the deep south. On December 7, 1941 Pearl Harbor was bombed and Tom’s father’s division was one of the first units to be moved to Fort Ord near Monterey, California. The Kernan family moved to Carmel, California. Tom’s father was dispatched to the Pacific and for 4 years the Kernan family home did not see their father.
During the period his father was away, Thomas attended a school adjunct to the Carmel Mission. He was taught by the nuns of Notre dame de Namur. Tom had nothing but warm memories of the sisters, emphasizing repeatedly how grateful he is to them for their educational and sympathetic care. The school itself, according to Tom, is a very beautiful place. After grade-school he attended Bellerman college prep in San Jose, a Jesuit private school. After graduating, he took classes at Santa Clara University.
Tom’s dream, however, was to go to the University of Notre Dame. He worked daily after school and on weekends to make enough money to afford to go back East to enroll at Notre Dame. He graduated from the University of Notre Dame in 1955. Thomas became the Alumni Field Secretary of Notre Dame and worked closely with the Alumni Club President to orchestrate the Alumni club activities. He is grateful for the experience at Notre Dame which led to long-term friendships that continue to this day.
After graduation, he entered the Life Insurance business, which he enjoyed and made many long-term friendships. Tom spent many years in the Life Insurance. Although Tom was in the Army reserves, he was not called to war and had left the reserves before the Vietnam war started.
Tom always remained very close to the church. When he was a younger and stronger man himself, he spent many years gently helping his ailing mother and later a dear friend, leading their passage to death with devotion and empathic care. He felt partly his calling was to take care of his parents and others, particularly those who are elderly and ill. So he assumed a paternal role within the family, as the oldest son looking after his parents. His father died in 1982 and when his mother became very ill, she asked him to be her representative and manage her household. For a lengthy period, Tom’s mother was very lost without her husband. Even before her physical deterioration, he became very close and supportive of his mother and was her primary caretaker. When she became very ill for a period of 5 years and lost a leg, he managed all aspects of her care and household.
He also took care of a close friend who was a few years older than him, who became very ill. He cared for her until her death, taking care of her every need. A significant amount of his own savings and income was dedicated to the care of his ailing mother and friend.
Tom loved the Parish of Saint Margaret Mary in Oakland, particularly, the strong community of devotion at the parish. Saint Margaret Mary’s is a church which offers both the Novus Ordo and Latin Tridentine Mass, administered by the Institute of Christ the King. He feels there he found a spiritual home – both in the Novus Ordo and Latin Mass community – and was a beloved parishioner who brought his empathy and social skills to the parish community.
Tom was very grateful for the spiritual help he received to be able to care for the elderly. He was adamant about how much he appreciates the kind of care that goes into looking after the infirm and elderly. He also recognized that a grace beyond himself helped him to earn both his mother’s and his friend’s trust, at a time in their life where others saw only physical and mental deterioration. He loved to speak about how even those who are diagnosed with “dementia” are far more accessible than many may realize. He insightfully observed that when one aims to give a person diagnosed with “dementia” a sense of personal control—even something simple like various choices in games etc –this empowerment can help draw a person out. Such a sense of personal agency may bring coherence to an apparently “demented” person’s present atmosphere, even enable them to share the unique coherence of his or her world with an empathic friend (like Tom). He likes to try to build on this coherence and has noticed that carrying on conversations that may not always make sense initially, bring a kind of “logic” or structure to the social state of the person with “dementia.” If this can be established he feels a great deal of delicate and helpful communication can occur, even if it is just the illogical language of a gentle and compassionate heart.
Tom was an avid gardener and especially loves to tend to roses. He was a perpetual optimist, with a bright outlook and attitude even in the face of serious crises. While he worried privately about his housing situation, he remained bright and optimistic to his friends and acquaintances. Rather than complain about a situation, Tom tended to make it brighterand this attitude spreads to others in his midst making him beloved by many.
Written by Cassandra Sciortino and Initiated by Timothy Irving
Beloved parishioner, Thomas J. Kernan died on February 14, 2019 at St. Anne’s Home with The Little Sisters of the Poor in San Francisco. He was in the long-term care of the Veterans Hospitals in San Francisco, having been in the Army. He spent all of his retirement and savings in old age looking after an old friend who suffered a long battle with cancer, not realizing he too would fall victim to the disease. Not long after his friend passed away he became sick with cancer, hiding it for several years until eventually he lost all his resources, and his health and was taken into the care of the Little Sisters of the Poor in San Francisco. We are seeking any help you might offer to allow for a Catholic burial for Tom. Please consider a donation to cover mortuary and burial fees.
Biography of Thomas J. Kernan
In 1932 Redmond F. Kernan married Marguerite Ghelfi. Thomas Kernan, their first child, was born in 1933. Thomas was named after his father’s cousin: Monsignor Thomas J. Kernan, who was ordained a priest on May 19, 1883. Mons. Kernan was rector at St. Nicholas Roman Catholic Church in Passiac, New Jersey.
Redmond F. Kernan, Thomas’ father, excelled in school. In 1918 he graduated from Westpoint with the highest honors. He went on to graduate from Fordham Law School and practiced corporate law on Wall Street until the United States entered World War II.
His mother was born in France (near Lille). The upheaval of World War I led Thomas’ mother to immigrate to the US with her mother and two sisters. She arrived in NY at the age of nine. She was, essentially, raised in a convent school—which Tom says used to be called the Grey Nuns. She bore three more children, Redmond, Jeanne, and Adrienne. Tom said that his mother was like a saint and a devout Catholic.
Tom’s father was promoted to General of the 27th division of the Army, before the US entered the war. His division was activated to training in the southern United States. Tom likes to tell a sweet story about the culture shock a New York lawyer experienced, training in the deep south. On December 7, 1941 Pearl Harbor was bombed and Tom’s father’s division was one of the first units to be moved to Fort Ord near Monterey, California. The Kernan family moved to Carmel, California. Tom’s father was dispatched to the Pacific and for 4 years the Kernan family home did not see their father.
During the period his father was away, Thomas attended a school adjunct to the Carmel Mission. He was taught by the nuns of Notre dame de Namur. Tom had nothing but warm memories of the sisters, emphasizing repeatedly how grateful he is to them for their educational and sympathetic care. The school itself, according to Tom, is a very beautiful place. After grade-school he attended Bellerman college prep in San Jose, a Jesuit private school. After graduating, he took classes at Santa Clara University.
Tom’s dream, however, was to go to the University of Notre Dame. He worked daily after school and on weekends to make enough money to afford to go back East to enroll at Notre Dame. He graduated from the University of Notre Dame in 1955. Thomas became the Alumni Field Secretary of Notre Dame and worked closely with the Alumni Club President to orchestrate the Alumni club activities. He is grateful for the experience at Notre Dame which led to long-term friendships that continue to this day.
After graduation, he entered the Life Insurance business, which he enjoyed and made many long-term friendships. Tom spent many years in the Life Insurance. Although Tom was in the Army reserves, he was not called to war and had left the reserves before the Vietnam war started.
Tom always remained very close to the church. When he was a younger and stronger man himself, he spent many years gently helping his ailing mother and later a dear friend, leading their passage to death with devotion and empathic care. He felt partly his calling was to take care of his parents and others, particularly those who are elderly and ill. So he assumed a paternal role within the family, as the oldest son looking after his parents. His father died in 1982 and when his mother became very ill, she asked him to be her representative and manage her household. For a lengthy period, Tom’s mother was very lost without her husband. Even before her physical deterioration, he became very close and supportive of his mother and was her primary caretaker. When she became very ill for a period of 5 years and lost a leg, he managed all aspects of her care and household.
He also took care of a close friend who was a few years older than him, who became very ill. He cared for her until her death, taking care of her every need. A significant amount of his own savings and income was dedicated to the care of his ailing mother and friend.
Tom loved the Parish of Saint Margaret Mary in Oakland, particularly, the strong community of devotion at the parish. Saint Margaret Mary’s is a church which offers both the Novus Ordo and Latin Tridentine Mass, administered by the Institute of Christ the King. He feels there he found a spiritual home – both in the Novus Ordo and Latin Mass community – and was a beloved parishioner who brought his empathy and social skills to the parish community.
Tom was very grateful for the spiritual help he received to be able to care for the elderly. He was adamant about how much he appreciates the kind of care that goes into looking after the infirm and elderly. He also recognized that a grace beyond himself helped him to earn both his mother’s and his friend’s trust, at a time in their life where others saw only physical and mental deterioration. He loved to speak about how even those who are diagnosed with “dementia” are far more accessible than many may realize. He insightfully observed that when one aims to give a person diagnosed with “dementia” a sense of personal control—even something simple like various choices in games etc –this empowerment can help draw a person out. Such a sense of personal agency may bring coherence to an apparently “demented” person’s present atmosphere, even enable them to share the unique coherence of his or her world with an empathic friend (like Tom). He likes to try to build on this coherence and has noticed that carrying on conversations that may not always make sense initially, bring a kind of “logic” or structure to the social state of the person with “dementia.” If this can be established he feels a great deal of delicate and helpful communication can occur, even if it is just the illogical language of a gentle and compassionate heart.
Tom was an avid gardener and especially loves to tend to roses. He was a perpetual optimist, with a bright outlook and attitude even in the face of serious crises. While he worried privately about his housing situation, he remained bright and optimistic to his friends and acquaintances. Rather than complain about a situation, Tom tended to make it brighterand this attitude spreads to others in his midst making him beloved by many.
Organizer and beneficiary
Marie Erika Respicio Elsbernd
Organizer
Orinda, CA
Adrienne Kernan
Beneficiary